Heart of Stone
by MeteorOnAMoonlessNight
Summary: Struggling through tragedy and betrayal, Edward believes he's living in a cold and loveless world with no choice but to harden his heart. He's only living a numb half-life as his sole focus becomes revenge. If he forgets his true reason for living, is there anyone who can get through to him? *'18/19 TFN 3rd Best WIP *2019 TFFA 3rd My Emotions
1. Prologue

**All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of S. Meyer. The original plot is the only thing that belongs to me. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Thank you to my ladies: coppertopj, kimmie45, MissLiss15, NKubie, and starsmina. Belizabetty made the amazing banner.**

**The link to my facebook group is on my profile, and my blog is MeteorOnAMoonlessNight. blogspot. com (just remove the spaces) - Between these two is where you'll find pictures and teasers.**

**This is posting once a week.**

* * *

***~*If you're a regular, hi! Thanks for coming along with me on another story. You know what to expect. **

**If you're new, hi! Thanks for giving me a chance. I have story rules on my profile if you're not sure if you should proceed. *~***

* * *

***~*This is a work of fiction. While I strive for realism and utilize Google as well as people with more knowledge than I possess regarding certain situations, I'm bound to get some of it wrong. If you're an actual expert and see something wrong, please tell me. **

***~*Fiction is sold as entertainment, not fact.*~***

* * *

***~*If you read The Lemonade Stand's Saturday Sneak Peek, you might be wondering what song I based this on. I can't reveal that until we pass a certain point in the plot, but I will eventually tell you in case you want to look it up. I chose to name it after Iko's Heart of Stone from BD2 because the lyrics seemed fitting, but it's not THE song.*~***

* * *

***~*This story is full-blown angst on an angst train stopping at every angst station on the way to Angst Town. If you have any triggers at all, please PM me and I will tell you if it is safe for you to proceed. Please don't tell me three chapters in that you didn't realize it wasn't a rom-com and now you hate me. If you cry easily (like me) please be aware that you might not want to read this in public. If you don't cry easily, I doubt I can make you, but you never know. There's something about a broken Edward that especially guts me.** **Three of my pre-readers have told me that this made them feel like there was a boulder in their gut.** **There will be no more warnings, no answers, plenty of cliffies, and what-the-fucks with no apologies. **

**Let's do this.**

* * *

Most of us are conditioned to live our lives as though we'll be around until we're grumbling over gray hairs. It doesn't occur to the average person, untouched by the venomous hands of death, that this isn't always the case. Some people die young; some younger than others. We tend to take our days for granted, assuming nothing can touch us. We slowly forget to say _I love you _every day, to never go to bed angry, or to hug our parents goodbye. We know that tomorrow is going to show with the sun, no questions asked. We become complacent.

We're idiots, basically.

But when that tragedy hits close to one of us, then we suddenly understand the truth. It's an ugly truth, but the bottom line is, we _should_ treat every day as our last. We should take that leap, do that one thing that scares us a little. We should say the words in our hearts, and we should remember to call our parents and grandparents more often. We should have life insurance, and living wills, and burial plots. Even with those basic preparations in place, nobody wants to think about their own death, and that included him. We should realize that we begin our journey to death the day we are born. No one knows when or why, just that everyone dies.

And when death came for him with its greedy touch, it came with a screech and a yank. It came with twisted metal and broken glass. It came with blood rushing out quicker than it could be staunched. It came on a harsh cry and a broken sob. It came with her begging him to save her, and him unable to do anything but kneel in the jagged shards of what was left of his heart and beg for their Lord to take him instead. It wasn't quick or merciless, but agonizingly painful. He saw their promised forever slipping through his fingers faster than the blood she was losing. He thought of their little girl, who would grow up without a mother, left only with the man who'd let her mother die.

He didn't have to be told that there was nothing they could do. By the time the paramedics arrived, the life was gone from her eyes and what he thought he knew about his existence in this world was forever changed. His clothes were soaked with her blood as he knelt in the spot where she died, the last place he felt whole before normalcy was ripped away.

He was lost. Shock and devastation could do that to a person, and he was no exception. His parents came, Mommy and Daddy trying to fix what was broken. This was not a scraped knee that could be bandaged and kissed better. This was the end of his life as he knew it. His soul was sucked out, gone with her to wherever souls roamed. What was he supposed to do next?

Taken home and pushed into the shower, he washed her blood from his body without thought of the movements. Brought to the hospital where they'd tried their best to save what was lost, he was given time to say goodbye. But what was he meant to say to a corpse? He'd done his begging and it landed on deaf ears, leaving nothing else to attempt to choke out. Instead, he kissed her cold cheek and stroked the blood-streaked hair that clung to her forehead. And then he wept.

He didn't know what happened after that. Days or weeks, he was completely unaware. People came and went, his mother stepping in as caretaker for him and his baby. He agreed to whatever his wife's parents wanted for a funeral, didn't even notice their cold stares and disapproving mutters about how they always knew he'd be the death of her. He didn't know his family stayed at his house until he was dragged to the funeral parlor where her body awaited them. He had nothing left, no tears and no theatrics. Her mother wailed and screamed, placing blame where it should never land, until she was escorted out by his parents. Family versus family meant _hers_ went back to where they came from, and _his_ stood by his side.

The cemetery was the worst. Too hot in his suit, too hidden in his own mind to shut out the idea of her burial, he ripped his tie off and dropped to the ground in front of the headstone they'd picked in a rare moment of clarity for the world of possibilities. He couldn't make himself get up, couldn't force his legs to help him stand or his feet to carry him away from so much death. He remained for longer than was healthy, long past the time her casket had been lowered into the ground, past the time others went home to maybe remember that life wasn't guaranteed. He remained, and he found his tears wouldn't ebb. He feared he would lay down in the dirt until his mortal body eroded, leaving nothing but his aching bones. He knew; he knew in his heart that leaving that cemetery without her was the final step toward forcing him to admit that she was gone, never to return.

And still, he remained.

_She's gone. Taken from me. This world is cold and without love._

The only thoughts in his head circled on repeat as he rearranged the flowers at her grave marker. Date of birth and date of death would be added later; they were all she would have wanted under her name. A carved stone angel sat vigil near the top of the slab, watching over her while he could not. His heart was as cold, as hard and unyielding, as the marble that proclaimed her remains would lay there until they became one with the earth. He had nothing left in his heart, nothing but that one tiny spark that insisted he kept living. Surely he'd been damned in another life, penance playing out in this lifetime. He shouldn't have to suffer her loss, but he did. He would. He hadn't been offered a choice.

He had to return to the house packed too full of black-clothed mourners, eager to see his grief played out on his face. They made him recognize the fact that he had to come out of the depths of his drowning despair, forced to live on without her. Sympathy fell flat as it became repetitive. They said it by rote until he wasn't sure who was sincere and who offered platitudes. Anxious hands stroking, patting, touching when he wanted no human contact. Choking on profanities he tried desperately not to spew, he escaped to his bedroom and closed the door. Almost immediately there was a knock.

"Can I come in?" His brother; a sincere mourner.

"Yeah." The sound was no louder than a croak. He sank onto his bed when his knees would have buckled.

"What can I do?" Emmett stood over him, hovered even, a stranger to this level of grief.

There was no sound but his pulse beating ever steady in his ears, despite his wish to the contrary.

"Edward?"

"Yeah." The words from the question hadn't retained in his ears, flitting through his brain like so many bats in an empty cave.

"What can I do?"

Edward tried to think. He needed nothing for himself, but there was one who needed more than he could give at the moment. "Have Rose take the baby." He choked on the short response, his palm pressing tightly to cracked lips.

"I know. Mom has Maggie's things ready to go."

"What do I do now?" Edward desperately wanted the answer to that question. He would pay his life's wages if someone could tell him how to heal the agony that settled on his chest. It was the same weight and size as the rock she was buried under.

"Live one day at a time, I guess."

Where once there would have been a snort of disbelief at the trite phrase, he was instead consumed with silence. He fell sideways onto the bed and buried his nose in sheets that smelled of her. Tears were a torrent that would not be stemmed, despite the brother that engulfed him in his arms. He didn't fight them off as he had downstairs. Emmett was a comfort in a world where he had recently found none.

"Stay."

The broken plea was met with a fervent nod. Emmett would stay to see his brother through his pain. Mourners left to live their lives, but Edward remained in his room. Days where he forgot to feed himself or shower, his brother was there to prod him into action. Though the pain morphed into a blank numbness, Edward could not move on. Emmett showed up daily without fail, keeping his brother alive in the morning and again at night while running their business during the day. When so much time had passed and he hadn't seen his daughter, Emmett had Rose bring her over. The pain of seeing his beloved wife in the face of the daughter she left behind tore at him. She was too young to know the tragedy of her mother dying, and Edward vowed to keep her mother's memory alive for her. She was the only thing that got him out of bed in the morning, and soon he realized that he had to continue living for her sake. Maggie needed him, and so his agony was locked away in the daylight while he cared for his infant and Emmett went back to his life. Only in the darkest hours would he unlock the cage around his heart and allow his sorrow to break free. In the midnight hours, he was ripped to shreds, only to be made whole again with the sunrise and his sweet Maggie.

It took more than mere months to function as a whole human being, but it became less of an effort to take a deep breath as the anniversary of her death came and went. He took Maggie to the cemetery often, feeling that his wife somehow looked down on them and saw that they had survived. One day he hoped to show her that they were flourishing. Slowly but surely the tides turned until Edward was as normal as he thought he would ever be after suffering his greatest loss.

The brothers' business once again thrived. Old friends were welcome at his house once more. When summer came, he could be found in the backyard manning the grill with family and friends surrounding him. His child grew like a weed, blocking out the sun until she was his golden orb. She was the brightest light in his life, his Maggie. Walking and talking turned into reading and writing as the first day of school came and went. She was the only reason for his existence now.

It had been four years since his wife died. Many seasons had passed. Now the leaves were changing color and pumpkins were rotting on porches when his world tilted off its axis for a second time.

* * *

**If you don't know if you can proceed from this point, go to chapter 8 (titled 7). It will answer the most pressing questions. (Obviously, if you don't like spoilers, don't read ahead.)**

* * *

**Go check out MissLiss15's stories! They're amazing. She won third place favorite newbie author.**

**Fanfiction(dotnet)/u/7387197/MissLiss15**


	2. Chapter 1

**I've lost a pretty good number of you already. Are you ready for it to get worse?**

* * *

For the last few months, Maggie had ridden the bus to and from school. She was a smart girl, talkative and friendly to everyone. She was a bright spot in everyone's day at the workshop where her father and uncle ran their business, Cullen Brothers Carpentry. There was a rotating list of who would walk her to the bus stop and pick her up, depending on who was available if Edward was too busy. That day, Rose picked her up from the bus stop and let her play with the dollhouse tucked into the private room of the shop office. She would come into the shop with whoever had picked her up and say hello to her father, get a snack from the mini fridge, and either do homework or play in the office. Rose ran the office portion of the business, answering phone calls, taking orders, and maintaining their website. She was the one to keep watch over Maggie more often than not; they had a strong bond after Rose cared for her the most in the days after Maggie's mother died.

When Edward was done with his workday he stepped into the front room to get her, but she was nowhere to be found.

"What do you mean she isn't here?" Edward demanded of his tearful sister-in-law. Rose was beside herself with guilt that Maggie wasn't where she'd last seen her.

"After she got her snack, she was coloring at the table. I never saw her leave the office, and I've been right here." After indicating her chair at the desk just outside the office door, Rose sniffed and wiped at her cheeks with her palms.

"How did she leave the front office if you were here? Are you sure you didn't leave for any reason?" Edward grabbed her arm and shook it, knowing he was too demanding, too rough with Rose, but his baby was missing and his judgment was clouded.

"I swear, the only time I moved was to use the bathroom, but I looked in on her after I came back. The phones have been ringing nonstop today. I guess she snuck out behind me." Edward recognized the desperate look in her eyes and backed off. Rose loved Maggie like her own, and she was pregnant. He wasn't capable of being nicer to her at that moment, so he paced away from her while he thought about what they should do.

He found Emmett in the shop in the back of the building and told him he was needed. Together they looked all throughout the shop, checking in cupboards, closets, and the bathroom. They looked in the woods behind the building and in everyone's vehicles. Then they called the school, family members, Maggie's friends, and friends of friends. Nobody had seen his little girl.

The tension built in Edward's chest until he finally exploded, throwing what tools were nearest to his hand. Chisels and rasps flew across the room, chipping wood and breaking glass. "What the _fuck_!"

Emmett did his best to console him, but there was nothing Edward needed more than his daughter in his arms. _It can't be happening again. I can't lose anyone else._

The two men made their way to the office in the front to see if anything had changed. Through the windows they watched as a Forks Police car pulled into the gravel lot, the shade of blue similar to the faded paint on the building the brothers leased. Rose was waiting for them in the parking lot, and a middle-aged man in a uniform climbed out of the vehicle and immediately started asking her questions.

"I told her to go ahead and call them to help us look. You need to remain calm." Emmett placed his hand on Edward's shoulder, as much to hold him in place as to comfort him.

"Fuck that." Edward paced, he cursed, and he watched every move the people arriving made. Somebody knew something. A five-year-old couldn't just disappear!

Suddenly, a lot of people were there: his parents, teachers, too many bodies reminding him of his wife's wake. More police taking more statements until there was Ben, hugging him and telling him he was sorry.

"I had to deliver the Thompson dresser. I can't believe she's just gone."

Edward held onto his best friend for a minute, seeking a sense of reassurance. "They'll find her, right?"

Ben nodded. "They have to. I'm sure she's fine, Edward. Everybody knows everybody in this town, and someone will spot her. I'm sure she thought she could walk down to the ice cream store or to a friend's house or something."

Ben's words only slightly mollified him. It was true that Maggie thought she was big enough to walk alone, but she had never been allowed to do it.

"Edward." Emmett waved him over to where he was holding the door open for a man in uniform. "This is Chief Swan. He wants to know when you last saw Maggie."

"Really?" Edward asked in agitation. It was obvious he had nothing to do with whatever had happened to her. He wanted their resources to be used on finding out where she'd snuck off to, not on questioning him. "She came into the back part of the shop after Rose picked her up from the bus stop this afternoon. About three-fifteen."

"We just need to start a timeline, sir. The more information we can gather, the better." The man's voice was unperturbed at Edward's attitude. It wasn't unusual for a distressed parent to be irritable.

Edward looked over the chief. He was in his mid-forties by Edward's guess, dark hair and eyes in a kind face. He wore a thick black coat with an embroidered badge on the left breast, the name _C. Swan_ on the opposite side. Edward wondered idly if the C stood for chief or something like Calvin.

"Are there people looking for her? Officers?" Edward asked, not giving a damn how rude his tone of voice was.

Chief Swan nodded. "Yes. Your . . ." He paused and looked at his notes. "Your sister-in-law, Rosalie Cullen, showed us a recent picture of Margaret on her cell phone. It's been sent out to all of my men and women. They're at the school, in the surrounding woods, and on the streets."

"Maggie."

"Excuse me?" Chief Swan looked up at Edward.

"She goes by Maggie."

"Of course. Thanks." Edward watched the chief write that down. "And your wife, can we speak to her and ask her when she last saw your daughter?"

Edward stood frozen for long seconds, all the air leached from his lungs. He hadn't been asked about Beth in a very long time. He almost didn't know what to say. _Sorry, the last time my wife saw her daughter was when Maggie was in diapers. Then she died and left me to raise our baby alone._

"M-my, um, my w-wife . . ." He had to stop talking and lean over with his hands on his knees. His breath was coming in sharp pants and he closed his eyes against the spinning room.

Emmett spoke up instead as the Chief frowned at Edward's distress. "Maggie's mother passed away four years ago."

Edward's breathing slowed as his brother rubbed his back. Chief Swan scribbled some more, then stepped away to speak to an officer. When he returned, he handed a station business card to Edward.

"Those on foot will continue to search for her until dark. We have Clallam County on alert to bring out their search dogs. That will take the better part of an hour given their distance from this location. If you have any questions, receive any unusual phone calls such as a request for ransom, or if you find her, please call the station immediately." He stuck out his hand and Edward shook it halfheartedly.

He didn't know what was expected of him at that point, but he knew what he wanted—no, _needed_—to do. He grabbed his keys off the peg by the door of the office and headed for his truck. When he reached the door he realized he had company.

Emmett and Ben climbed into the four-door truck with him. Emmett sat in the front because he had the longest legs and needed the most room. Ben got in the back and clapped Edward on the shoulder as he spoke.

"Let's go look for her."

Edward pulled away silently and began the tedious task of driving up and down all of the streets in a grid. He moved from the shop to the center of their small town in agonizing slowness, looking between houses and behind businesses whenever possible. He rolled his window down and called Maggie's name until he was hoarse. When he couldn't see the streets anymore, he realized it was because tears clouded his vision and night was falling.

He stopped the truck with an abruptness that sent his passengers surging forward. Emmett braced his hands on the dash and stared at Edward. "Out, brother. Switch with me."

Edward climbed out without a word, swapping with Emmett and settling in the passenger seat to stare out the window. His lungs were burning, his chest heavy and hollow. His head was a mess of thoughts and worry, what ifs and despair. What if they didn't find her out there? Night was almost upon them, and his five-year-old would be lost and alone. It was cold. She had to be hungry. How would he sleep? How would he cope?

He simply didn't have it in him to go through this much loss another time. He didn't want to stop the search, couldn't admit that it was time to give it a rest for the night. His daughter was out there in the dark. He couldn't focus on anything else. His breathing was shallow and quick when Emmett pulled back into the shop parking lot. Edward slumped forward and tried to remember how to breathe as the truck door was opened and his brother grabbed his shoulders to pull him upright.

"Come home with me. I'll help you get through this."

Edward gasped for several minutes as the panic attack hit him hard. Emmett hugged him, supporting him through it all. Edward knew he was lucky to have the brother he'd been blessed with.

"Edward?" His mother's voice brought his head up from Emmett's shoulder. He was still sitting in the truck, and he realized that Ben was standing to one side and his parents were on the other.

"We've been out looking for Maggie," Emmett explained to Esme. She was tear-stained and looked miserable.

"We went with the search dogs when they arrived. There was no sign of her past the property line." Their usually well put together father was disheveled.

"What could have happened?" Esme asked.

"I don't know, Mom. I wish I did," Emmett answered since Edward continued trying to breathe through his panic attack.

"Rose is a mess, Emmett. Why don't we go home with Edward and you take your wife home?" Carlisle suggested.

Emmett hesitated, looking around for Rose. She was inside the office, sitting on the couch with Ben's wife.

"Go, Emmett," Edward managed to gasp out. "I'll be fine with Mom and Dad."

Emmett didn't exactly believe him, but he stepped away regardless. He had to focus on Rose and how losing Maggie was affecting her, especially since she was pregnant. Carlisle took his place, helping Edward out of the truck since it appeared that the panic attack had passed. Esme wrapped her arms around Edward and just held on. He didn't have it in him to console them, even though he knew they were upset, too.

"What did the police say?" Edward asked his father.

"They said they'll begin again in the morning."

"I don't know what to do. She's alone, and it's dark and cold. She's my baby, Dad, how do I live with this?"

"I don't have the answer to that, son. I'm sorry."

A sob escaped him as he clutched his mother tighter. He had no idea what he was going to do with himself until Maggie was found.

Emmett and Rose went home, and Ben and Angela went home. Carlisle and Esme put Edward in their car and drove to his place. Edward wandered the empty house, lost and alone again. He found himself in his daughter's room picking up her favorite stuffed bear and staring at the pink and yellow comforter on her bed. Tears slid down his cheeks even as his knees gave out and he sank to the floor. He screamed as loudly as he could, roaring his anguish out into the empty space surrounding him. Without Maggie, he had no reason to go on. They had to find her. They _had_ to.

Esme found him, alarmed by his screams. She simply sat on the floor with him and held him as they both cried. "We'll find her, Edward. I promise we'll fix this. I promise."

If only he could believe her.

* * *

**Any of you that worried his deceased wife was Bella but didn't ask, now you know. Her name was Beth. I hope you asked your hard limit questions because I'm cutting off the answers.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Wanna hold my hand?**

* * *

That first night was the stuff of nightmares. He screamed and begged for God to spare his daughter's life. In his opinion, God owed him after taking Beth away from him.

"Why, God? Why Maggie? You already have my wife! My baby girl is all I have left! _Why_?"

Esme did her best to soothe him, but he was so far beyond her help that there wasn't much she could do. It reminded her of the day her daughter-in-law died.

Edward had worked himself into such a frenzy that he vomited on himself on his daughter's bedroom floor. He choked and gagged until there was nothing left inside of him. He was nothing but an empty shell. Esme helped him to his feet and pushed him into the shower with his clothes on. He merely rested his head on the cold tiles and cried his eyes out. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't even focus on putting one foot in front of the other. All he could think of was going back out and finding his baby girl. He knew he was useless as long as he stayed in the house. His resolve hardened and he moved quickly to dry off and change.

As soon as he was redressed he grabbed his keys and headed out the door, but he was intercepted by his father stepping into the kitchen. "Son, where are you going?"

"To find my daughter." Edward thought it was pretty fucking obvious, and he didn't like being questioned. He was going out there whether his father liked it or not.

"It's the middle of the night. You need to sleep." Carlisle tried to speak in soothing tones to placate his distraught son.

"I don't need to sleep!" he screamed at his father. "I need to find my girl! I need to get the fuck out there and not give up looking until she's found!"

"Listen, Edward, I understand that you're frustrated—"

"_Do you_? Do you understand what it's like to watch your wife die in your arms because some bastard was drinking and driving? Do you know what it's like to put yourself back together piece by piece and think your life is _finally_ normal, only to have your daughter go missing?"

"No, of course not. I apologize for insinuating that I understand your pain. That's not what I intended. I merely mean that I can empathize with your need to search for her, but you also have to take care of yourself and stay strong so that you can be healthy when they do find her. She's going to need you when she comes back."

"She can't be found if no one is looking, and right now, no one is looking."

Edward brushed past his father and headed out into the dark. He drove out to the shop and got his flashlight out of the truck before starting on a journey through the woods. A small part of him knew that there was no point going through there since the search dogs had found no traces of her, but he wasn't in the frame of mind to think rationally.

It wasn't long before he heard his own name being called. He stopped moving and shined his flashlight in the direction of the voice. "Ben?"

His lifelong friend came into view as he neared him. "Your dad called me. He didn't want to piss you off by coming himself, but he didn't want you out here alone."

"I can't just go to bed while she's still missing, Ben."

"I know. Let's look for a little longer."

Ben and Edward swept their flashlights back and forth, aiming at the ground as they walked. There wasn't even the slightest sign of Maggie, but Edward did notice some dog footprints in the softer soil. He knew he was wasting his time.

"This is bullshit." Edward stopped walking, looking around himself at the pitch black night. There wasn't even a moon to guide them.

"I don't know where else to look, Edward. Maybe you really should sleep and let the cops figure it out in the morning."

He knew Ben was right, that it was the logical thing to do, but his chest hurt at the thought of giving up. He sighed and felt another tear slip out. "You're right, I guess. Thanks for helping me look."

When they reached the parking lot, Ben hugged Edward for a good long while before they parted and went back to their homes. Edward didn't sleep; in fact, he felt worse than before. He was exhausted both mentally and emotionally, not to mention his physical state. He'd never cried so much in his entire life, not even after Beth died. At some point in time after her death, he'd reached a numbness that allowed him to be dry-eyed, but not tonight. All he could do was cry for his baby.

Sunrise came and Edward was already prepared with a thermos of coffee. He couldn't imagine choking down any food so he didn't even bother trying. He pulled into the shop parking lot, impressed to find several police cars there. There was a table set up under a white awning and people moving about.

"Okay, everyone see where the grids are marked off? Don't stray past your sector and remember to radio in every half hour."

The chief was the one speaking, and there were men and women in similar Forks Police coats like the one the chief wore. Spotting Edward, the chief headed over.

"Mr. Cullen, are you joining us this morning?"

"Absolutely. What can I do?"

Chief Swan motioned to someone. A tall, lanky man with blond hair falling in his face came over. He was wearing a police uniform. "Sergeant Whitlock, this is Mr. Cullen. Take him with you."

"Yes, sir." Whitlock turned to Edward. "Call me Jasper. It's your daughter we're looking for, yeah?"

"It is." Edward choked on his answer.

Jasper touched his shoulder. "Let's get out there and find her."

Edward could only nod. They headed toward the woods again and joined up with a young woman. She didn't say anything, just fell in step with them.

"Why are we looking here when the dogs have already covered this area?" Edward asked.

"We're going to spread out farther than the dogs went," Jasper responded. "Clallam County Search and Rescue is currently on the far side of this sector, heading in our direction. The parking lot at your place of business is the best place for a base of operations due to the thickness of the forest area."

"Why are they that far away? She's only five, she couldn't have gone that far on her own." He saw the sergeant and the young woman exchange a look. "What?"

The woman spoke with authority, though she didn't wear a police uniform or coat. "Sir, we're no longer treating this as a child that might have wandered off. We're treating it as a child taken against her will."

The idea of his daughter having been taken sent bile racing up the back of his throat. Edward fell against a tree trunk and threw up, his thermos hitting the pine needles near his feet. There was little left in his stomach to come up, but he continued to dry heave regardless.

"I apologize for distressing you." The woman was at his side, rubbing his back soothingly.

Edward waved her off, and she moved away. After a minute, he straightened and wiped his mouth on the tail of his shirt. The sergeant offered him the thermos he'd recovered from the ground and Edward accepted it from him.

"It's better that you know, Mr. Cullen. We believe that initially, Maggie wandered outside of your shop unassisted, but that once she was a decent distance away, someone picked her up. We have to focus on hiking trails and abandoned properties now."

Edward looked at the petite brunette and tried to process her words. "You think she—she's . . ."

"We don't know anything for sure, but as you said, it's highly unlikely that a five-year-old was able to wander past the boundaries of our previous search on her own."

"God." He fisted his hand to his lips and tried to hold in the scream of anger and despair that was building in his throat. _Kidnapped_. He didn't like the sound of the word as it swirled around in his head.

"We should keep moving."

"Swan," Jasper said in annoyance.

"You know I'm right," she said quietly.

"Wait," Edward interrupted their brimming argument. "You're related to the chief?" He could see the resemblance now that the name was put out there.

"I'm his daughter, and the dispatcher that answered your sister-in-law's call yesterday afternoon."

"Oh."

Jasper gave her a pointed look and started walking. Edward followed him, and the woman trailed behind them.

"Base, this is Swan and Whitlock. We had a little setback, but we're headed to our initial destination now. Over."

The radio crackled in her hand. "Everybody good, Bella? Over."

"All good, Dad. Over and out."

The trio walked in silence for several more minutes. Edward's head was a mess of worrying thoughts about what could have happened to Maggie. He didn't like the way the Swan woman had spit out the information, but he agreed that he was better off knowing.

The sun was halfway up in the sky by the time they stopped to rest. They had called in their location several more times, Jasper or Bella checking their compass and a map often. They hadn't found anything, but Edward had a new appreciation for what they were doing. They checked under bushes, looked up in the trees, and called Maggie's name over and over. Occasionally, Edward could hear others calling his baby girl's name, too. He figured it was a good sign that so many people had come together to help look for Maggie. He hoped that meant the chances were greater that they would find her sooner.

When they stopped, Jasper said they were near the Olympic National Forest boundary line. It wasn't officially marked, it was just another patch of forest if you were a hiker, but the map had it marked specifically. Jasper handed out the power bars and bottles of water he carried, but Edward could only toy with his.

It was Bella who spoke up after ten minutes had passed and Edward hadn't eaten. "You need to rehydrate, Mr. Cullen. The body can only sustain itself for so long with a lack of water. Longer without food, but it's the water that's the most vital."

He stared at her, thinking of Maggie out there somewhere without food and water. His stomach clenched, and he couldn't eat even if he tried. "I can't." If he choked on his own words, how was he supposed to force food down his closed-off esophagus?

"You should try. If you collapsed, you'd end up in the hospital and you would be of no use to anyone."

He couldn't imagine how the nervous energy he was currently feeling would morph if he was stuck in a hospital bed. Though his stomach was churning, he nibbled on one of the power bars. He had to take small bites and follow them with plenty of water because his mouth was so freaking dry.

"Base to Swan and Whitlock."

Bella picked up the two-way radio and spoke into it. "Swan to base. Over."

"The team on Calawah has finished and found nothing of significance. Over."

Bella took a deep breath and smiled at Edward. "Thanks for the news," she said into the radio. "Over."

"Base over and out."

"Edward, that means that she wasn't found in the Calawah River," Jasper explained. "None of her clothing or belongings were, either."

Edward closed his eyes and leaned forward until his forehead nearly touched his knees. He was glad to be sitting down. It was the first piece of good news he'd had since Maggie went missing, and he was going to cling to it.

* * *

**I just want to say in case I didn't make it clear: Search and Rescue would have continued canvassing the area at night. FPD probably wouldn't.**


	4. Chapter 3

**I posted my Heart of Stone playlist in my FB group, MeteorOnAMoonlessNight. You can also find it by searching for my real name on YouTube; Lara Norman. My profile picture is a meteor shooting across a night sky, and the header is from the Twilight Saga.**

* * *

When Edward, Jasper, and Bella returned to what was referred to as base, they found Esme handing out sandwiches to the volunteers. Edward walked over to her and wrapped her in a hug.

"Where's Dad?"

She patted him on the back before pulling away to answer him. "He's out there." She gestured vaguely toward the trees. "So are Emmett and Ben. I heard the officers they're with on the radio; they'll be coming back soon."

"Okay." Edward nodded, not sure what else to do. It was late in the afternoon and everyone had been on their feet for somewhere around nine hours.

"Mr. Cullen."

Edward turned to see Jasper standing there. Next to him was Maggie's teacher. "Oh, hey, Miss Alice."

"It's actually Mrs. Whitlock. You've been out there with my husband all day."

Edward frowned at her warm smile. He felt like he should have put that together sooner. "Oh. Sorry, my brain is . . . I guess I'm exhausted and not thinking clearly."

Alice touched his arm. "That's understandable. I'm sorry they weren't able to find her. I didn't know what to tell her classmates today, so the other teachers and I agreed to say she's out sick. I hope that's all right with you."

He nodded. He didn't have it in him to worry about the other students at the elementary school. "Whatever you think is best."

"There's another team that's working an area further out until sundown," Jasper spoke up. "They can only go so far as the border of the reservation."

Edward's head swam. "Why is that?"

"We don't have jurisdiction on their lands. Charlie has been in contact with their chief, and from my understanding, they'll give us permission to search there if nothing comes up here in the next few days."

"Who is Charlie?"

"Chief Swan," Jasper clarified.

The _C_ on his jacket. Made sense. "Okay. It's just so much to take in. I'm overwhelmed," Edward admitted.

"I know. Just realize that no one is giving up, yeah?"

Edward nodded again and turned back to his mother. She'd continued to hand out sandwiches while Edward had been speaking to Jasper and Alice.

"Mom, have you heard when Dad will be back? I need to apologize to him for the way I spoke to him last night."

Esme smiled gently. "Honey, he feels awful for the way your conversation went. He simply wants you to take care of yourself."

"Yeah, but I was a jerk. I know you two are helping the best way you know how. I appreciate it."

"You'll work it out." She ran her hand through his hair, feeling a motherly need to comfort her son as though he were still her little guy. "Oh, I spoke to Rose earlier. I instructed Emmett to take her into the office this morning and have Breeanne check her vitals. Her blood pressure is high and I've put her on bed rest. I'll check on her on the way home today. Angela was going to stop by after school and keep her company until I get there."

"Are you missing any appointments today while you're here?" Edward asked.

"Carmen agreed to take my appointments. If there's a birth, she'll page me and I'll have to go. Right now, there's only Rose and Tanya that are far enough along that I might be needed."

Edward hugged her again. "Thank you for being here instead. You're the best mom." He kissed her cheek and accepted the sandwich she held out. He didn't want to hurt her feelings so he moved far enough away that she couldn't see him not eating.

As he sat on the far side of the parking lot at the picnic table he and Emmett built, he shivered in the cold. He'd been moving since sun-up and hadn't really thought about the weather, but now that he was sitting still he could feel the temperature dropping. Tears dripped off his chin as he thought about Maggie for the millionth time. She would be cold. She would be hungry, thirsty, and scared. He hunched his shoulders and cried hard for her, covering his face with his callused hands.

"Mr. Cullen?"

The voice was soft and already recognizable. He wiped his face on his shoulder and looked up into Bella's kind brown eyes. "Yeah."

She frowned at the tears on his face. Her chest tightened at the sight of a distraught father missing his daughter. It reminded her of her own father and how caring and wonderful he'd always been with her. "Everyone from this search party is done for the day. The last of the searchers are heading back and should be here any minute." She paused while he stared blankly at her. "You need to rest. You've done your best today. You need to eat that sandwich you're hiding from your mom, drink at least one bottle of water, and sleep. You won't be doing anyone any good if you faint from exhaustion."

He scoffed. "I've never fainted in my life," he muttered.

"You've never been in this position before, either."

She was right. He was being stubborn. "How do I let go? How do I find the headspace to sleep and not think obsessively about her?"

Though his words were whispered, she heard him clearly. "You can get diphenhydramine from the drug store. It'll help you sleep."

"Get what?"

"Benadryl. Or a PM-type medication."

"Right. I guess."

They sat in silence for several moments as Edward zoned out. Eventually, several search parties came through the tree line. Carlisle, Ben, and Emmett came over to Edward immediately.

Emmett sat heavily next to Edward. "There've been no signs of Maggie, or of anybody camping or hiding out with her. We came across a couple sets of campers, but the officers interviewed them and they aren't involved."

"Sorry, Edward," Ben interjected. "We found nothing in our sector, either."

Carlisle sat on the other side of Bella and eyed her with curiosity. "Don't I know you?"

"Yes. I'm a dispatcher and the chief's daughter."

"That's right," Carlisle said. "I did a piece on taxpayer funding for the City of Forks public servants."

Bella smiled. "I remember. It got us more money from the county."

Carlisle smiled back before looking past her to his son. "Edward, your mother got you something to help you sleep. I think you should come home with us and try to recuperate."

Edward repressed the sigh that threatened. He hated being coddled, but he reminded himself they were looking out for his best interests. He nodded instead of saying what was on the tip of his tongue. Carlisle smiled and got up to say goodbye to Esme before heading off to his car.

Edward slowly stood and trudged after his father. Emmett and Ben followed, hugging him before he got in the car. "Hey, Emmett, keep me updated on Rose, will you?"

"I will, brother." Emmett gave him one last slap to the back before moving on to his own truck.

"Thanks for helping," Edward said to Ben. "And say hi to Angela for me. I heard she was keeping Rose company this afternoon."

"Yeah, she went over when school was out. I'll see you tomorrow, Edward," Ben said.

"Yeah."

He had nothing else to give anyone at that moment. He felt like the bottom was going to drop out at any second so he lowered himself heavily into his father's old car. Carlisle talked the whole way back to the house, but Edward couldn't focus. His mind was drifting back to a time when Beth was alive.

"_I'm pregnant, Edward. You're going to be a father."_

_His eyes filled with tears as she said the words he'd been longing to hear. "You're sure?"_

_She nodded, brushing away her own tears. "I took a home test and then immediately called Esme."_

"_Oh, my God." He moved closer to her, hugging her carefully and pulling back with his hands on her arms. "How do you feel?"_

"_Right now, emotional. Mostly, I feel great, though."_

_He knelt, his hands on her belly. He had made a life with the woman he loved. He was in awe. "I'm so happy, Beth." He laughed and stood. "You've made me the happiest man on earth."_

_He kissed her softly, holding her face in his hands and— _

"Edward? We're here."

He jumped in surprise. Carlisle was shaking his shoulder. He wasn't with Beth. She was gone, and so was his Maggie. He groaned. "Oh God."

"Are you feeling well?"

He could only shake his head. _What a stupid question_, he wanted to scream. He yanked on the door handle and fell out of the car, crouched and panting on the pavement of the driveway. Carlisle hurried around the hood and squatted to help his son stand.

"Let's get in the house and you can lay down."

It took longer than usual for Edward to make it inside. He stumbled several times, leaning on his father for support the entire way. It wasn't until his stomach growled that he realized he'd left the sandwich on the picnic table. He sat in one of the chairs at the kitchen table and breathed deeply for a minute while Carlisle hovered.

"Can you heat up a can of soup for me?"

He managed to look up at his father, his head heavy and his neck stiff. He felt tears building again and blinked fast.

"Of course, just give me a minute."

Edward laid his head on the table as Carlisle moved around the kitchen. With his eyes squeezed closed he listened to the sound of the cupboard doors and the microwave. He tried to focus on only that and not on the crushing weight pressing down on his chest. He tried to breathe and not focus on the feeling of suffocation that threatened to pull him under. If that was what drowning was like, it was a horrible way to go.

"Here, Edward. Please eat."

The scent of the broth filled his nostrils, and his mouth actually watered. He tried to think of when he'd eaten last, but he wasn't sure. Sometimes he missed lunch if he hit a groove at work. When he picked his head up it spun, and he held it still with both hands. It passed, and he opened his eyes and was met with the concerned blue eyes of his dad sitting across the table from him.

He scooped up some broth first to test his stomach. It might as well have been the finest steak made by a celebrity chef. The warmth felt soothing as it slid down his throat.

"Is it okay? It's not too hot?"

"It's perfect, Dad. Thanks."

Carlisle visibly relaxed, his shoulders dropping and his hands falling to his lap. "Great. Do you want crackers?"

Edward shook his head. "This is fine. I know I need fluids as much as food."

"Mom should be here soon. She wasn't going to stay out for much longer." Carlisle got up to get a drink from the fridge, setting a glass of orange juice in front of Edward and a bottle of water for himself. Chicken noodle soup and orange juice may have been best for a cold, but he figured neither could hurt just then.

"She said she had drugs."

Carlisle smirked. "You know she hates when you use that term."

Edward nodded. "A bottle of necessary prescription medication, then."

"Yes, to help you sleep."

"Good luck with that."

"There's nothing you can do right now anyway. You might as well sleep."

Edward was shaking his head before his father even finished speaking. "I can't close my eyes without seeing them. Beth, and even Maggie. It's too painful."

Carlisle leaned forward, his elbows on the table. "Maggie is still alive, Edward. You have to believe that."

"You don't know that!" Edward dropped the spoon into the bowl with a clatter. "There's no way to know."

"It's not what I know. It's faith that she's out there somewhere waiting to be found and that she's okay." Tears streaked down Carlisle's face, and Edward started crying, too. "I can't think of it any other way, son. It wasn't just you that lost Beth. It's not just you missing Maggie, worrying about her. It's not the same, I know. You feel it more keenly; it's more devastating to you. But they're my family, too."

Esme walked into the house to find her husband and her oldest son hugging. They both had tears on their faces, and she took a deep breath before setting her things down and putting her arms around them both. The only thing she knew to do was pray for the strength to keep her family together.

* * *

**In case you need a morale boost: "You is kind, you is smart, you is important."― Kathryn Stockett, The Help**


	5. Chapter 4

**The questions a lot of you have asked about the Quileutes will be answered in the next chapter. **

* * *

Though Edward took the prescription sleeping pills, his mind wouldn't shut down. He tried to breathe slowly and deeply, to focus on the meditation Beth once taught him before giving up in frustration, but it didn't work. Vague pictures tried to form in his head of a person taking Maggie. His daughter was screaming for him, reaching out in desperation. He forced his leaden eyelids to open and sat up, his hands shaking as they scrubbed through his hair. He looked around his old room, the one his parents had made into a guest room. The pale blue walls should hold a sense of comfort and familiarity, but all he felt was cold.

He went downstairs, realizing as he passed the grandfather clock in the hall how late it was. He'd been laying in bed for hours attempting to force himself to sleep. He headed for the fridge, digging out three bottles of beer and sitting at the kitchen table with them. For the longest time, he just stared at them, reading every word on the label. He knew he wasn't supposed to mix alcohol with sedatives, but he needed the relief of oblivion. Without it, he was turning into a zombie. Maggie's face stayed right there in his vision, blocking everything else until he crumpled under the impenetrable waves. He was drowning again, only that time he welcomed it. He wanted to see nothing, to hear nothing, to _feel_ nothing but numbness.

Twisting off the first cap, he swallowed half the bottle rapidly. His head spun, forcing his eyes closed until he didn't feel like he was going to vomit. He tipped the bottle back again, draining it in two long gulps. He set that one down and went for the second, drinking it as quickly as he was capable. His stomach churned violently, but the liquid stayed down. He stared blankly out the back windows, not seeing the white curtains tied back on either side. He didn't notice the moon glowing in the distance or the fact that he was sitting in complete darkness. He didn't feel his headache or his sorrow quite so intensely anymore so he opened the third beer. When that bottle sat empty beside the others he blinked several times, but Maggie was still there. Her face hovered just behind his vision, taunting him with what he was trying so desperately to forget.

He stumbled as he stood up, knocking over the kitchen chair. He knew his father typically had stronger liquor in the house so he went on a search. His footfalls were loud in his ears and he tried to shush them, but it didn't work. He leaned against the wall for support and slid his shoulder along it as he walked to Carlisle's office. Most of his father's work was done from home, though he had to show his face at the newspaper once a week. Edward bumped into the desk as he passed it, sending a picture frame toppling. Maggie's crying was intensifying in his ears and he held his palms tightly over them to block it out.

When Carlisle walked into his office he found Edward on the floor in front of the bookshelf holding a bottle of tequila and screaming.

"Edward!"

Carlisle rushed forward and knelt next to him, trying to take the bottle from his hands and calm him down. The noise of the falling chair had woken him, and though he was sure it was Edward, he'd been cautious on his way down the stairs to check. He'd been standing in the kitchen when the screaming started.

"Make it stop! Make it stop!"

"Edward, for God's sake!"

He sat there helplessly as Edward screamed incoherently. He wouldn't let go of the bottle and even took another drink of it while Carlisle watched. Edward kept his eyes closed, tears streaming down his face and staining his gray t-shirt. Not knowing what else to do, Carlisle wrapped his arms around his child the best he could. He broke down at the sight of Edward falling apart and his sobs shook them both.

Esme rushed into the room and took in the sight on the floor. The room was a wreck from Edward's hasty search for more alcohol, and once again her husband and son were hugging each other and crying.

"Edward, you really shouldn't have mixed tequila with what I gave you."

She realized her reproach was falling on deaf ears. Sighing, she sat on the floor at Edward's side and leaned her head on his shoulder. Carlisle looked over at her, his face twisted into an expression of agony. Edward had at least stopped screaming, but he was still crying and hiccuping sighs. Carlisle left his arm draped over Edward's shoulder but shifted so he sat similarly to Esme. The three of them remained on the floor of the office until Edward drifted off to sleep.

Once she was sure he was unconscious, Esme got up and retrieved a blanket from the living room. When she returned, Carlisle was standing over Edward and looking down at him.

"I don't know how to fix this, Es."

"I don't, either, Carlisle. I wish we'd found her today. I wish she'd never wandered out of the office."

"Me, too." He kissed the side of Esme's head. "I'll stay here with him. You go back to bed."

She nodded, leaning into his body for the strength she was severely lacking just then. "I love you, Carlisle."

"I love you, too, Es. Try to sleep." He hugged her tightly before watching her leave the room. He straightened up the papers and the silver frame that Edward had knocked over. His chest constricted at the sight of Edward, Beth, and Maggie on the day the little one was born. Their happiness had been limited, it seemed. Carlisle felt anger surge through him at the unfairness of Edward losing his daughter after suffering through Beth's death. His grip tightened on the corner of the frame before he set it down gently. Breaking things would get him nowhere.

He sat in his desk chair and turned his computer on. With bleary eyes, he squinted at the article that ran in the paper that morning. It was a description of the missing girl and her last known location. There was a bit about her age and grade and the name of her school before it asked anyone with information to call the Forks Police Department's tip hotline. He studied the picture they'd used; she was at their house, but he couldn't remember exactly what for. She had Beth's blue eyes and brown hair, and it had gotten long enough that Edward had learned to braid it. It took a few barrettes to hold back the shorter pieces of hair, but he'd done a good job of it overall.

Carlisle was glad Edward was finally sleeping. He was so devoted to Maggie; several steps beyond being a great dad. He constantly said it was Maggie that saved him after they lost Beth. She'd gotten him out of bed in the mornings, gotten him to focus outside himself and on the baby girl that needed him. She'd been his reason for living in a time when he didn't think he could stand to put one foot in front of the other anymore.

Maggie had been the salve over his mortal wounds, and now they were ripped open and bleeding profusely.

Carlisle himself had spent plenty of time crying the past day and a half. He loved Maggie fiercely. He loved the baby Rose was carrying. He loved Rose as he'd loved Beth. It was how he was built, and he wasn't ashamed of it. He was the nurturer in his family—not that Esme wasn't nurturing, but Carlisle was more so. He could see himself in Edward, and Esme in Emmett. Loyalty and love were the main elements in his family, and he was proud that he'd helped raise the boys into strong and compassionate men.

When he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer, Carlisle stretched out on the floor near Edward. He'd grabbed a throw pillow and another blanket to use as his makeshift bed. He knew intuitively that Edward would be miserable when he finally woke. He hoped that his son had the chance to sleep for a long time. It was clear he needed it.

He was woken in the morning not by Edward but by Emmett. His younger son had come to see if he could help, and after situating Rose in the living room, he'd gone in search of his father and brother. Esme was already at the office and had seen Rose; thankfully, her blood pressure was lower, but Esme was still concerned enough to keep Rose off her feet. She was full term in another week, and his mother just wanted the baby to stay put for a few more days at least.

"Dad."

Carlisle opened his eyes to see Emmett's blue-green eyes peering down at him. He was stiff and sore, and he sat up with caution. He glanced over at Edward, seeing his head dropped off to the side and his breathing noisy. He motioned to Emmett to go ahead and leave the room, and then he followed slowly.

They met in the kitchen, Emmett pulling out the coffee pot and getting it set up to brew. "What the hell are you two doing in there?"

"It was a bad night."

"I can tell."

Emmett left the room once the coffee was brewing and brought Rose into the kitchen. He carried her through and set her in a chair, her cheeks flushed and her lips in a tight line.

"I told you I can walk just fine, Emmett."

He kissed her and she couldn't even pretend to be annoyed with him. It was the hottest thing he'd ever done for her, and there'd been plenty of hot moments in their marriage. The idea that he wanted her and their baby safe was a turn on, coupled with the strength of his arms as he surrounded her with them to pick her up.

"I don't care if you're capable. Doc said to keep you off your feet, and that's what I'm doing."

She cradled his cheek in her palm, tears pricking her eyes as she caressed the scruff that grew there. "Thank you," she said quietly, and she was rewarded with his handsome grin.

Emmett turned to Carlisle as the older man poured a cup of coffee. "Now, what happened?"

"He hasn't been able to sleep." Carlisle pulled out a box of donuts someone had donated the day before and set them on the table before taking a seat. "Your mother prescribed him a sleeping aid. I thought he would sleep last night. I was wrong." Images of Edward screaming and pulling his hair out flashed through his brain and he heaved a sigh.

"Why were you in your office?" Emmett put a donut on a napkin and passed it to Rose. "You both look like hell, and you couldn't possibly have been comfortable."

"He woke me up at about three. I heard this chair fall, and by the time I made it here, he was screaming like the hounds of hell were chasing him. He'd had several beers—the bottles were on the table—and had found my tequila in the cabinet in my office." His hands shook as he scrubbed them over his face. He swallowed more coffee and tried to decide if his stomach could tolerate a donut. "He kept saying that Maggie was crying and that she wouldn't stop. Mom came in the room and we all just kind of sat together until Edward passed out. I didn't want to leave him alone."

"Fuck," Emmett murmured. Rose covered his hand with hers, and he flipped his over so he could grip hers tightly on his leg. "Seriously, Dad, what the hell are we going to do? He can't survive this."

"I don't know, Emmett. I wish I had answers. I wish a lot of things."

"I know that feeling."

"He's going to want to know what the police are doing today," Rose said. "We can start with getting an update so that we can tell him when he wakes up. He's going to feel awful, so water, coffee, and maybe Pepto will be useful."

"Good ideas, babe."

She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. She felt responsible, and it was a feeling she couldn't shake. Maggie had disappeared on her watch, after all.

"People stopped by off and on yesterday. There was a bunch of stuff left on the front porch, according to your mom. Food, flowers, stuffed animals, notes. I haven't been by Edward's, but it's probably the same. Ben said he would go by there today and check." Carlisle braved the donut and found that he was hungry.

"Ben is out searching again. Angela wants to help, too, but she doesn't think it would be right to call in a sub for that. She's going to check in with the search unit after school to see if there's anything she can do," Rose said.

"We need all the help we can get, that's for sure." Carlisle rubbed his face again, hoping once more that Edward would sleep the day away. "We can hang posters, and I think I heard that they were going to fax her missing persons photo to more counties."

"I honestly don't know what's left," Emmett said. "Search and Rescue was going to dredge the rivers, I think. There's more park to cover, but honestly, how is it even possible to cover all that area?"

"I'll do it my fucking self if I have to. I'll walk the entire Olympic Peninsula, Emmett. I have to find her."

The trio at the table looked up at Edward. His eyes were puffy and the circles under them were nearly black. His complexion was paler than usual, and he slouched. He looked like he was knocking on death's door.

Emmett stood and crossed the kitchen to stand with his brother. "And I'll be by your side the whole way if that's what it takes."

Edward fell against his brother and sobbed.

* * *

**Hello, is this thing on? Anybody still with me? Currently, we're at approximately 38 hours missing.**


	6. Chapter 5

**This is day two of Maggie's disappearance.**

* * *

_She's gone. Taken from me. This world is cold, empty, and without love._

The words repeated themselves in Edward's head as he looked for his daughter. His father was by his side, as were Ben and Emmett. They followed mountain paths and hiked to camping spots favored by the locals. They reached the boundary of the nearby Quileute reservation and the other three had to convince Edward not to proceed.

"We're not supposed to go on their land without permission," Ben pointed out.

"Chief Swan said he was in touch with whoever's in charge over there," Emmett reminded Edward. "He was going to let us know today what the tribal elders decided."

"It's a five-year-old, Emmett. How could they say no?"

"They didn't say no, just that all decisions have to be put to a vote. They were calling an emergency meeting to discuss it, but one of the members of their council is out of town. They tried to reach him by phone for his vote." Carlisle was a practical man. He understood the need for procedures and protocol. He understood giving them all the time they needed to do what they'd done for centuries, but for God's sake, it was his granddaughter missing. He was inclined to agree with Edward, despite his outwardly calm demeanor. He was only being level-headed for Edward's benefit.

"There should be something more we can do," Edward whispered as he stood there staring at the sign that barred his entrance. He wanted to pace, to claw out his hair, to scream at the sky and the sun burning too brightly in his face. He walked away from the sign as the words on it blurred in his vision.

"The entire city of Forks has been covered, twice," Emmett said. "The Olympic National Forest has been covered to the best of anyone's ability. The Forestry Service and the Rangers have looked, and are on the lookout still, for anyone matching Maggie's description."

"It's not enough, Emmett. It's not enough!" He had to stop walking, to sit on the ground right where he'd stood, to catch his breath as another panic attack hit. He'd been having them with a great deal of regularity since his daughter had gone missing. He had faith that she was alive, or so he tried to assure himself. So where the fuck was she?

"I know, Edward. If there was something else we could do, I'd be first in line to do it." Emmett sat next to Edward, and Ben followed suit. They stared at the sign declaring the Quileute line and the request that all visitors came through the main road and not trespass on private lands.

"We should go back home, or to the police station, and regroup," Carlisle said after giving Edward some time.

Since the others agreed, they piled in Carlisle's car and went to the police station. Edward paced, intending to be polite and wait for someone to be free to help them, but after ten minutes he couldn't wait any longer. He strode out of the lobby and down the hall, checking the nameplates on the doors until he found the one that said Sergeant Whitlock. He threw open the door and ignored the way the other man stood abruptly at the intrusion.

"What have you found out about my daughter!"

Jasper took in the flushed face, the heaving chest as air was forced in and out of Edward's lungs, the balled up fists, and the scowl. He put his hands up in a placating gesture but stayed where he was.

"Mr. Cullen—"

"No! None of your cop-speak bullshit! _Where is she_?" he shouted. He gripped the edge of the sergeant's desk and pushed it as hard as he could, satisfied when several items toppled over. Any release of the pent-up rage he was feeling was good. Jasper took a deep breath and tried to remember that Edward was in pain.

"You need to calm down if you want me to talk to you." He paused, watching as Edward stood stock still and heaved out breaths. "I just got off the phone with the Quileute chief. We have permission to join them in their search. I was about to inform Chief Swan of my conversation with Mrs. Black and then call you."

Edward tried to regulate his breathing. He tried, but he couldn't. Nothing was in his control anymore. The room spun around him as he hyperventilated, and Jasper rushed around his desk to lead him to the floor as his knees buckled.

"Just breathe for me, Edward."

Jasper left him on the floor and went to his desk to call for help. It wouldn't take more than three minutes; the paramedics were next door.

"Edward, is anyone with you?"

Edward couldn't answer. His lungs felt like they would explode at any second. Blackness encroached on his vision from the outer corners. Before he knew what was happening, someone was placing a mask on his face and he felt a cool rush of air. The pain in his chest lessened, but his head was pounding and his vision was cloudy.

Carlisle hovered in his vision when Edward next opened his eyes. He was on the floor of the sergeant's office, an oxygen mask on his face and sweat covering his clothes. "You okay?"

He nodded. He didn't think he could speak. His father sat next to him and took his hand in his.

"Sergeant Whitlock said we could use his office. He and Chief Swan have gone to the reservation as they said they would. I told the paramedics you didn't want to be transported; I hope that's okay."

Edward nodded.

"You had a panic attack; a big one. I authorized Valium." Carlisle paused. "I don't like what this is doing to you, Edward. I wish I had the answers."

Edward felt tears well up in his eyes. He didn't want to worry his father. He didn't want to be a burden to his brother and his best friend. He hated that they were all worried about him, all putting their lives on hold because he couldn't get it together.

He pulled the mask off and dropped it to the ground. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. There's nothing I'd want you to do differently, except maybe get more sleep."

They fell silent as one of the paramedics came back in the room. She asked if she could take Edward's vitals and he let her. She took the mask and turned off the oxygen tank with a reminder to go to the hospital if he had another episode.

His life was falling apart and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

**HoS**

Edward and his family were allowed to join the search on Quileute lands. The tribe's chief, Sue Black, met them at the community center.

"I'm sorry that we couldn't give you permission to be here yesterday, gentlemen," she said. Edward looked at her wide face and deep-set eyes. She had straight black hair cut in a bob and russet skin. "I tried to follow protocol, but when we couldn't reach one of the council members I overruled them all and decided to grant you access."

"I appreciate it." Edward cleared his throat when the words came out in a grunt. "Where are Chief Swan and Sergeant Whitlock?"

"I believe they are searching the outer edges of the woods surrounding the cliffs. We have been looking ourselves, we simply lack the manpower to conduct as large a search as the county can. Clallam County Search and Rescue will be here within the hour. We've searched the Quillayute River extensively. It has many branches that empty into the sea. We've passed out the fliers Forks PD sent us and asked around. Nobody remembers seeing her."

"Thank you for all that you've already done, Mrs. Black," Carlisle spoke up. "We really appreciate it."

Sue smiled gently. "I accept your gratitude. Do you wish to meet up with the men from Forks?"

"Absolutely," Emmett spoke up.

"Let me have my stepson, Jake, show you where they are."

Edward was impatient to get moving, but even in his sleep-deprived state, he realized he'd never been on the reservation and didn't know his way around. They waited inside for the tall young man that came to take them to the cliffs. They found Charlie and Jasper and a few officers walking through the trees in a spread out line. Their heads were down, each of them on the lookout for disturbed soil or footprints.

"Have you found anything?" Ben called out. The other men stopped and looked up.

"Do me a favor and stay behind us, yeah?" Jasper responded. "Don't track over the area we haven't covered."

"We haven't found anything," Chief Swan answered the original question. "Then again, we just started. Search and Rescue will do their thing this afternoon and tonight. Perhaps they'll get lucky."

"They'll have the dogs?" Edward asked. He trusted the instinct of the dogs more than he did fallible humans.

"Yes, they will," Charlie answered.

Edward nodded. There was a feeling in his chest, something other than what was there before. It was a squeezing pressure, and he gasped under the force of it. It felt like a grotesque sort of premonition, and he hated it.

"Maybe you should rest while they do the search, Edward," Emmett suggested. "I doubt you could be of much help."

Edward was already shaking his head. "I have to help. I have to."

Carlisle stepped up to him and put his hand on his shoulder. "Okay, but not for long, Edward. Seriously."

Edward tried to respond, but his mouth was desiccated. Too much alcohol from the night before combined with the sleeping pills and Valium, and he felt awful. Ben handed him a bottle of water and he drank the whole thing.

The four of them joined the line of officers, spreading out as they were instructed. Edward kept his head down and looked for any sign at all that could explain the hope to which he was desperately clinging. A footprint, big or small. Broken branches that looked like someone stepped on them. He wasn't even sure if that was considered a sign since people could come and go in that section near the beach as they pleased. It was a touristy area, and that made it all the more difficult to find answers.

Time passed slowly for Edward. He saw the sergeant out of the corner of his eye walking slowly and checking the ground. He felt terrible for breaking down in the man's office earlier, but he wasn't keen on apologizing out there. He tried to mull over some words he could say when they were finished for the day, but nothing came to him in particular. He stared at the dark forest floor as he walked until it blurred and he had to blink to clear his gaze and refocus. His father was right, of course. He was next to useless in his state of exhaustion and the resulting confusion. He was muddled in the head. The natural mulch from the pine needles and other bracken created a thick enough layer that, most of the time, there weren't any signs that anyone had ever been through there. Edward blinked slowly and his eyelids almost refused to reopen. It was a primordial forest now, older than the earth. Older than the Quileute tribe. Older than the stars and the planets and the white spots that danced in his vision. When he tripped over a fallen log he didn't even have the reflexes to catch himself. He merely ended up face-first into the fragrant ferns.

"Edward!" Emmett reached him first, Carlisle shortly behind him. Everyone stopped what they were doing, noting the marks the men were inadvertently making on the ground as they rushed forward to help Edward to his feet. Charlie repressed a sigh as he thought for the hundredth time that the father was actually making it harder for them to do their job.

"Time to go," Carlisle insisted.

Edward blinked slowly as he looked at them, one on either side. He grinned stupidly at his brother. "Hey, Em."

"Hey, brother."

"I want to take a nap."

"That's the best idea you've had in two days."


	7. Chapter 6

**I like that so many of you love Sue being the chief. ;)**

* * *

Emmett had to wake Edward up when they reached their parents' house. Though he debated carrying him straight to bed, he wanted to make sure he ate first. Their father stayed behind to continue the search with Ben and the officials, though he promised not to be too much longer. Emmett called Rose before they left the reservation to make sure she would be okay without him for a few more hours, and she assured him that Esme was staying with her.

Though Edward walked like a drunkard toward the house, he made it inside on his own accord and sat in a kitchen chair much like the day before. Emmett dug through the fridge until he had the makings for sandwiches and then stood at the island counter and watched his brother.

"You gonna make it?"

Edward nodded, scrubbing his face roughly before getting up and grabbing two beers. Emmett's eyebrows went up into his hairline as Edward sat with both of them.

"And here I thought one of those was for me." Emmett slapped a piece of cheese onto the bread in front of him and closed the sandwich he'd made for Edward. He wasn't normally one to judge, especially not when it came to his older brother that he typically thought walked on water. Once upon a time, Edward had everything Emmett wanted: a devoted wife, a baby, a house, and a business of his own. He'd helped Emmett get a carpentry apprenticeship so he would know the ins and outs before they opened Cullen Brothers Carpentry. Emmett had never been made to feel like he was trailing along after Edward, even when that was exactly what he was doing. He would go to any limits for Edward, including mopping him up off the floor after he got piss-drunk.

"I heard the chief say they were going to set up a press conference tomorrow. You know, for national attention."

"So they can play off of my grief for the greedy press? The way Beth's parents suddenly wanted to become advocates after her death, only to throw money at one organization and then forget about it?"

Emmett shrugged, not looking to open a new can of worms. He made a second sandwich and got himself a beer before setting the food on the table and joining his brother. They ate in silence, both staring out the bay window into the backyard. The sun was on its way down, painting the grass in the last golden rays of the day.

"It's night again," Edward commented right before swallowing the last of the first beer.

"It's only been a little more than forty-eight hours."

"Forty-nine hours, thirty"—he glanced at his watch—"five minutes, and a handful of seconds." He bit down on the sandwich without actually tasting it.

"I know, Edward. I do. It doesn't matter if it's been thirty minutes or thirty days. It's too long."

There was silence between the brothers for a long time.

"I'm going to kill them."

Emmett froze with the beer bottle halfway to his mouth. He turned his head slowly to look at Edward, who was still staring blindly out the window. A dozen thoughts flung themselves through Emmett's head. Would he stop him? Could he blame him?

Would he help him?

He chose not to say anything as Edward twisted the cap off the second bottle of beer. They continued to eat in silence, a silence that slowly engulfed Edward like an evil entity. It crept, leisurely but steadily, from the edge of the white linoleum, toward the table and chairs, toward the pair of men that were trying to put one foot in front of the other under the enormous strain of what happened.

"I can't keep doing this. This isn't living," Edward suddenly said. "You babysitting me because I can't keep my shit together, abandoning your pregnant wife for your pathetic excuse of a brother."

"Hey, I want to be here," Emmett tried to interject.

But Edward was engulfed in the tidal wave of hate and revenge and loneliness until it burned in his heart. "It's bullshit, Em!" He stood, knocking the chair into the wall and towering over his seated brother. "You need to go back to work tomorrow. Or, fuck, spend a whole day with Rose. Something other than wasting what you have on me."

"I don't consider it wasted!" Emmett stood as well, his voice matching the volume of Edward's. "I know it sucks. It's the worst thing that could have happened, and it shouldn't have happened to you. I wish I could take some of the burden off your shoulders. Don't you see?" He put his hand on Edward's shoulder, watched as tears brimmed over the eyes that matched their mother's. "That's why I'm here. I want to ease your suffering in any way I can. I'm sorry it isn't the same as having Maggie back."

"I know you're trying." All his strength vanished as he collapsed back on his seat. "I'm not blaming you. I'm not trying to make it sound like you're not doing enough. You being here, Dad being with me, it's the only thing keeping me sane."

"Dude, you're not sane anymore." It was said in a light-hearted manner, but neither of them laughed.

Emmett went back to the fridge and pulled out the last of the beer. "Dad's going to be mad we drank all of these."

Edward tried to smile. "He only lets himself have one a day. I think he'll manage without." He accepted the bottle and then just stared at it. "I want it to help, but it doesn't."

Emmett sighed. "Then save that one for Dad and go lay down on the couch."

Edward took his brother's advice. He stared at the television as the people on-screen recapped a football game. He wanted to fall into oblivion. He knew that if she wasn't found, he wanted that oblivion to be permanent.

He saw her face in his head. His Maggie. The one person who managed to convince him that loving someone else more than yourself was rewarding. He had a doting family, but it was Maggie that saved him after Beth's death. So who would save him now?

As he drifted off, he saw her in a meadow. It was spring or summer, he couldn't tell which. The grass was to her knees, purple and white flowers swayed in a light breeze, and she wore a white dress. She laughed, and he grinned to see her so happy. She'd always been a happy girl, someone that brightened people's day. She talked all the time, she had compassion for others, and she was so sweet. On her bedside table, he kept a photo album full of pictures of him and Beth. Any snapshots his parents had of them, any candid photos he'd taken on his phone, and the professional photos from their wedding. They were all there so that Maggie would know she came from love.

Edward met Beth the year they graduated from high school. Her family had moved into town because Esme hired Beth's mother for her practice. Beth felt awkward being in a new school so close to the end of the year. She was upset that she wouldn't graduate with her friends back in her hometown. It was easy to befriend Beth; Maggie was much like her mother in that respect. Emmett, Rose, Ben, Angela, Beth, and Edward were as close as six people could be by the time that summer started. Beth decided to stay in Forks and go to community college to be near her new friends, a decision her parents didn't support. They wanted to send her to college in another state, but she refused. Edward went to trade school and worked for a local lumber company until he could save enough to rent a house. He wanted to propose to Beth, but he held off until he felt like he could prove himself to her parents. He worked hard, helped Emmett study for his last year of school, and spent money getting Emmett trained instead of putting it toward the house he had his eye on. Neither of them wanted to rely on their parents' generosity if they could help it.

Edward celebrated Emmett getting an internship when he graduated. He worked harder to save more money so they could open their own business. The house was pushed off for another year, and his parents promised he could stay with them as long as he needed. He had a plan. Work full-time at the lumber company, fit in any orders from his business at night, and save whatever he could. He wanted to give Beth the world, but she told him she would settle for a quiet life in the Olympic Peninsula. It took blood, sweat, and Beth working full time as the receptionist for Dr. Esme Cullen, OB/GYN before they were able to rent a house. It was a compact one-bedroom, but they were happy. They got engaged without a ring, though Esme and Carlisle offered one from the family or to help with the cost of a new one. Beth wasn't materialistic, but her mother was. Gloria Stevenson wanted Beth to go to college in the east and meet a wealthy man. She approved of the Cullens in general, but not in the way their oldest son acted as though he came from a low-class family. Gloria thought if she and her husband moved again, Beth would be forced to go with them. She didn't think for one second that her daughter could make it with Edward. She was wrong on both counts.

Edward and Beth worked for what they wanted. They saved until they could buy a house, they had a small wedding at the Cullen's home, and they didn't splurge on anything. They found the building they used for their carpentry business because it was dilapidated and Emmett and Edward had to fix it up to use it. Rose was brilliant with building them a website to draw in customers. The four of them bargained and bartered to get ad space, trucks big enough to haul finished furniture, and help to refurbish the office. Ben was hired on when they got too busy to do everything alone. Angela was still in school at that point, but Ben had worked for the same lumber company as Edward until they had enough earnings to pay employees. By then, Angela made more money than Ben, but he enjoyed being part of it all.

Edward saw the years go by as though they were right in front of him. He felt that if he tried hard enough, he could reach out and touch Beth's face. It would feel like the thrill of everything being new, the passion of first love, and the potential of their future. Beth was in a meadow, and she was laughing as the sun streamed down on her. With an odd sort of precognition, Edward realized that it was the meadow where he'd seen Maggie earlier in his dream. As Beth danced in the tall grass, she beckoned. At first, Edward thought it was directed at him, but he saw Maggie running toward her mother from the treeline. When they met in the middle, Beth scooped Maggie into her arms, and Edward cried for a scene that would never happen in real life. It was a sad, beautiful sight to him. It had the ability to heal his heart and rip it to pieces in the same instant. Maggie and Beth, together.

"Don't worry, babe. I've got her."

As Beth spoke to him, he woke with a scream ripping its way up his throat.

He sat up, disoriented and sweating. The house was dark except for a faint light shining down the hall. With his heart beating right up in his throat, Edward bent over and screamed again.

Emmett ran into the room, kneeling in front of the couch and grabbing Edward by the shoulders. "What? What?"

"She's dead. She's dead."

He repeated it continuously in a monotone as Emmett tried to soothe him. "You can't know that."

"She's dead."

"God damn it, Edward, she isn't!"

Edward's head snapped up. He beat his fist against his chest as Emmett looked on helplessly. "It's right here. She was with Beth in my dream. As she is now, at five years old, she was with Beth."

His voice strangled on the last few words and he dropped his head again. Emmett was sitting next to him and doing his best to hold the last pieces of his brother together as they heard a phone ring from somewhere in the house.

"Let me get that," Emmett muttered, reluctant to leave Edward at that moment. Since he received no response, he stood and followed the sound back to the kitchen. Edward's phone was lit up and ringing shrilly from the table.

"Hello." He headed to the living room as he answered. "No, let me get him."

He found him in the same spot on the couch, his head in his hands, sobs forcing their way out from somewhere deep in his soul.

Emmett swallowed. "It's Sergeant Whitlock."

He sat down once more, terrified of what the news would be. Edward put his hand out and accepted the phone without even looking up.

"Yeah."

"Mr. Cullen? We found her."


	8. Chapter 7

He couldn't move fast enough as he raced down the hallway toward the nearest desk. Emmett was right behind him, only his long legs making it possible to keep up with Edward. They barely stopped long enough to ask for the room number before bolting for the elevator at the end of the corridor. Edward's chest heaved in its effort to pull enough air into his lungs. It felt like a huge weight was resting square on his sternum, and he gasped repeatedly as his breaths were forced in and out. He was in the elevator and pushing the button before the passengers could get off, Emmett's apologies a dim noise in the back of his head. He kept hitting the button to close the doors as though that would make anything move faster.

He bent at the waist when the elevator started moving, bracing his hands on his knees and doing his best not to pass out. He felt Emmett's hand on his back and it brought him a small amount of calmness. He just had to get there. He had to see for himself, and then he could fall apart. Really and truly fall apart, not the way he'd been forced to hold himself together over the past two days that felt like ten years. He stood and wrapped his arms around his stomach, trying to hold his guts inside his body. He felt like there was a black hole right there, threatening to suck everything within its reach into its emptiness.

"I'm going to be sick," he murmured as sweat beaded on his forehead.

"Just hold it in until the elevator stops, will ya?"

Emmett said it softly, knowing that Edward had no choice in the matter, but hoping to offer some levity to help calm him.

The ding indicated they had arrived on their floor, and Edward was off like a runner at the mark again. Emmett tried to be more sedate rather than plow into people, but he was just as anxious to get there. Edward's pulse beat in his ears as he moved, scanning the numbers on the plaques hung on every corner of the walls. The colors around him blurred as he focused on the door he could feel was the right one. It beckoned to him as he sprinted, his shoes making an annoying squeak on the polished white floor. He checked the numbers beside each door just in case, but he knew. He felt it.

He felt her.

He stopped just on the other side of the last barrier to his daughter, suddenly scared to death of what he would see. He paced away, seeing Emmett step up to him with a frown on his face.

"What is it?"

"I can't handle this. I'm not strong enough."

"What? Of course you are. You have no choice, Edward. You have to go in there and see for yourself. I'll fucking hold your hand if you need me to." Tears sprung to Emmett's eyes at the thought of not only what they would find in that room, but how his brother was going to react. He wasn't even sure if _he_ was strong enough, let alone what Edward would be going through as her father.

"I'm going to throw up. I can't do it. I can't." His head shook from side to side almost violently.

"Mr. Cullen?"

They both turned at the sound of the soft, feminine voice. It was the woman from the search party the day before, though Edward had already forgotten her name.

"Yes?" he rasped.

"I've been sitting with Maggie so she wouldn't be alone. Come on in." Her dark eyes were kind and understanding.

"Oh God. Is she—is she—" He couldn't continue his sentence.

"It'll be fine." She held her hand out.

Edward stared at the offering of comfort, of guidance and assistance. He tentatively slid his hand into hers, finding it cool and smooth.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" she asked. "I know your family was notified, but none of them are here yet."

He swallowed around a constricted throat as she moved one step forward. He went with her, but he found that he couldn't answer her question. Another step, and he felt Emmett's hand on his shoulder as they reached the door. His entire body was tensed in expectation, his stomach clenched so tightly he was shocked he had managed to keep down the sandwich from hours before.

"Here we are." She pushed the door open, and Edward closed his eyes.

She moved, he moved. He focused on the sensations around him; the air was cold, causing him to shiver. He left the house without a jacket, only putting on his shoes in the car after Emmett thought to grab them. There was the solidity of his brother's body behind him, warm and reassuring. There was the woman's hand squeezing his. Was her name Brenda? She felt soft, but strong. She wasn't afraid, but she was removed from the situation in a way that he wasn't. He was smack dab in the middle of it, wasn't he? Still, she offered a solace while the storm in his heart buffeted around him. He swallowed again, hearing a whoosh that he couldn't place. It was faint, not the air conditioning, but something else. The woman—Bella, _that_ was her name—moved once more, the final step to bring him to his daughter.

His eyes were glued shut when he felt Emmett pat him on the shoulder. "Edward, open your eyes."

He sucked in a strangled breath and opened his eyes.

The room was dimly lit. He shivered again in the arctic chill of the room, and tried to focus on what was in front of him. He felt the sweat on his palms and was grateful that Bella hadn't let go despite that. He didn't think he could handle it if he had to be there alone, and she was the only one to see Maggie since they'd found her.

"She was in a well," she said quietly, and Edward flinched. "It was shallow and dried up. The estimate is that it's ten feet deep, maybe a little more. The search dogs found her."

"On the reservation?" Emmett asked.

"Yes. On the edge of their lands. I was with my father and a few of the other men, including Sergeant Whitlock. Rex, the Search and Rescue dog that found her, has been in service for many years. He's a pro."

"What—" Edward had to stop and swallow again. Finally, he looked more closely, spotted the swelling and the bruising and had to turn away. His free hand went to his mouth in a fist.

"Take your time," Bella soothed, running her hand lightly over his back. Her heart constricted at the pain evident on his face.

"I really am going to puke," he choked out as he stumbled to the nearest trash can and threw up into it.

Emmett was there to hold his shoulders, to offer him the tissue the woman handed over. Edward took it and wiped his mouth, his eyes closed and his breathing labored.

"I need air. I can't breathe."

"Okay," Bella said. "I can take you to the employee smoking area on this floor. It's not the freshest air, but it's closer than going out the front doors."

Edward could only nod. He took two steps to the door before he halted. "Emmett, please stay with her. I don't want her to be alone."

The three of them stood motionless for half a minute, all of them with tears on their faces. Emmett nodded and Bella led Edward out and down the hall, still providing support with her hand on his back. She seemed to know her way around, but he didn't have it in him to question her. She tried to surreptitiously wipe her eyes but he saw her anyway. His breath hitched. Maybe later he would be grateful for all the help he'd received, but for the moment he only felt sorrow.

When she opened a door marked Employees Only with a badge she pulled out of her pocket, his brows went up. He knew she was a dispatcher, and yet she had employee access here in this place. Cold air washed over him as she pushed the door far enough open that he could step outside on the small concrete balcony. He gulped in the clean air. They were alone, and he was grateful for that. He could smell the faint tinge of stale cigarettes, hear the traffic from the street below them. People going on about their lives while his was destroyed.

After a few moments of peace, Bella spoke. "We can provide you with counseling services, Mr. Cullen."

"It's just Edward. My dad is Mr. Cullen." He leaned on the cold stone railing, the scratch on his palms grounding him. "I don't know where to go from here. I don't know what's next."

"The investigation is not closed simply because she was found." Bella hummed very quietly for a second. "I'm not known for being socially adept, Edward. I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing to you. I tend to speak in cold hard facts, as Jasper likes to remind me."

"It's fine," he said as he stared out over the part of town he could see. There were a few lights past the street the building was located on. They were facing a small neighborhood encroached upon by the forest.

"Um, there will be tests done, of course, on her—"

"Maggie."

"Yes, on Maggie, and on the well and the surrounding area. How she got there, why she was there—"

"Who did it," he interrupted her once more.

"That will be the top priority of the police department," she said in a hardened voice. "My father won't stop until they figure out what happened, Edward, I can promise you that."

He took several deep lungfuls of air before he turned to face her. "I need to go back and see her again."

"Yes, of course."

They followed the same route back to the room she was in. He took another deep breath before pushing the door open. He found Emmett sitting in the chair next to her, holding her hand. The neverending tears fell down his cheeks as he stared at his younger but much larger brother bent over his tiny, broken daughter's hand.

He tried to choke back a sob, but he wasn't able to do it. He wanted to pick her up, to hold her in his arms and feel her warm body curl into his. He wanted her cheek pressed under his neck while she asked for another story. He wanted to wash the hair that was matted and covered in God knew what until it was soft again and smelled of her watermelon shampoo. He wanted her to get up, to walk across the room and jump in his arms. He wanted her to dance again, to sing a silly song.

"Fuck."

It was the only thing they heard before Edward sank to his knees.

Emmett picked his head up and looked over, seeing his brother on the floor. Without thinking twice, he went over and helped him up. He led Edward to the chair he'd been in and had him sit in it. He stayed directly behind him with both hands on his shoulders as they bowed and fractured.

The door behind them opened with a soft click and Emmett and Bella looked over to see Esme and Rose. Rose went to Emmett, leaning into him and wrapping her arms around him. He held on, needing to be given comfort instead of giving it. Esme gasped as she looked at Maggie and rushed to Edward's side. Bella brought over another chair and Esme sank down on it as her legs turned to jelly.

"Oh, Edward," she whispered as she leaned her head onto his shoulder. "Your father is in the hall speaking with the doctor. I was going to do it, but I just needed to see you and our girl."

He gripped the hand she offered and brought it to his cheek. "She looks awful."

"I know."

There was silence again, apart from the machines that pumped and whooshed. Edward heard sniffles around him but couldn't find the strength to guess who they belonged to. Maybe everyone.

The door opened again and Carlisle came in, not taking his eyes off of Maggie as he reached Esme. "I've spoken with the doctor, and it's going to be a long time before she wakes up, Edward," he began as he moved closer. "She needs to sleep to heal. The nurses will come in and bathe her after the police have assured them no more evidence can be collected."

"It's a broken arm, a concussion, and some other things," Rose said. "I forget."

"It's fine," Edward said as he looked down at his baby. He wanted to touch her but fear stopped him. He was terrified he'd hurt her.

How would he ever leave her side again? How would he go about his life and let her go about hers? Assuming she healed physically, would she be damaged emotionally? Mentally? He knew he was. His soul was seared with permanent scars. She was his heart, his entire reason for living, and someone tried to take that away from him. The hate that had been festering, burning in his gut, reared to the surface. He pushed it down ruthlessly. He would wait. He would bide his time, focus on his daughter and her recovery.

But he would never truly rest until the motherfucker that was responsible paid with their life.

* * *

**Because I'm curious, how many of you knew right away that she was alive, and how many thought they were heading to view her body?**

* * *

**On a personal note, I might not have the chance to reply to your reviews for this chapter. I know you'll all say it's okay, but replying is important to me and I've never skipped it before. A family matter came up, and I have to go out of town. If you're interested in knowing what it is, go to laranormanauthor (dotcom) and read the latest blog post. The next chapter will post on time and I'll do my best to reply.**


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hi Loves, This is Melissa (MissLiss15) I'm updating for Lara today, because sadly, her father passed away yesterday after his battle with cancer. Please keep her and her family in your thoughts and prays.**

Time was a finicky thing. Some days it came down to living minute by minute, while the very next day could hurtle along like an earth-bound meteor. To Edward, it felt that every second ticked by in the span of an hour. Each minute was a day; each hour a week. He had never wanted time to fly more than he did in those first days after Maggie was found. She slept and slept, no sound permeating the hospital room save the soft noises from the machines. He constantly sat by her bed praying for her recovery, begging her to wake up and look at him. He longed to see her happy blue eyes looking at the world around her in awe the way she'd done since she was a baby.

Rose came back to sit with him on the first day. She'd been cleared from bed rest, but still had to take it easy. She didn't speak, too ashamed of the thoughts in her head to put them out there where she couldn't take them back.

Edward spoke instead. "She looks so frail." His words were hushed as though they sat in a library.

"She'll get stronger." Rose wiped tears from her cheeks.

"It's not your fault."

There was a pause as she thought about what he said. She was having a hard time not taking on responsibility for what happened. "It's scary that you know what I'm thinking."

He shrugged, but his gaze never strayed from the girl in the bed. "We've known each other for a long time. It's not hard to figure out that you'd blame yourself."

"How can I not? It _is_ my fault. I was in charge of watching her."

He scrubbed his hands over his head. "Fuck, Rose. How can I blame you when it's myself I can't forgive?"

She looked at his profile, the three-day beard that covered his jaw and the under eye circles she could see even from where she sat. "It sure as hell wasn't because you weren't watching her closely enough. That's all on me."

"I'm the one that assumed you were infallible. I decided you could watch her and work in the office alone. I didn't hire anyone to help you, despite knowing you'll be out soon and we'll need help."

She snorted. "By that definition, I should have known I could use help and that I'm not Superwoman."

Edward rubbed at his eyes and didn't say anything. There was no way he'd ever blame anyone for his daughter wandering off other than himself. The bastard that thought Maggie was worth nothing more than a piece of trash, on the other hand . . . yeah, he had plans for them.

"Do you have all the test results yet?" she asked after a few minutes of relative silence.

"No sexual assault. She was hit in the head with a blunt object which knocked her out and caused some swelling. There were tire tracks to and from the well, so it's safe to assume she was transported there for the sole purpose of dumping her. She has several fractures to her right arm from hitting the bottom of the well. Her right hip sustained a hairline fracture. Dehydration, contusions, etcetera."

Rose frowned at the monotone way he described his daughter's injuries, as though he was reciting impersonal facts. She could guess it was to detach himself from the horror of the reality. She knew he'd been terrified to think his little girl might have been raped. "Any idea when she'll wake up?"

"When the swelling goes down. After that, it's anybody's guess. She needs the rest to heal." He flinched when he felt Rose's warm hand on his arm.

"You can talk to me, you know."

He didn't answer her. It wasn't personal, it was more that he was afraid to relax. If he loosened the stranglehold he had on his emotions, he was terrified he'd never be able to put the pieces back together.

The door opened and Edward looked up, seeing the woman from the reservation step into the room. "Mr. Cullen."

He stood with reluctance to greet her. "I apologize, but I've forgotten your name."

"It's Mrs. Black. I came to see how your daughter is faring."

He looked back at Maggie, his chest squeezing at the sight of her so small and frail in the big bed. When he focused back on the woman, he noticed her gaze was also on Maggie. "She's not good, but she will be in time." Rose came to stand next to him and put her hand on his shoulder.

"I was incredibly sorry to hear that she was left on our lands. I wanted you to know that we are working closely with Forks PD to offer assistance in their investigation. If you need anything from me or have any questions, you can feel free to call me."

Edward took the business card she offered. _Susan Black_. He would try to remember her name for the future. "Thanks. I don't really have anything polite to say about who did this. I hope you plan to prosecute whoever it was and not be lenient."

One black brow arched on her wide forehead. "You're insinuating it was one of my people."

He caught the edge to her voice, but he didn't give a shit. "It was on your land. That's a fact. Other than that, we don't know, do we?"

"No, we don't." Sue looked at Rose and the possessive way she touched Edward. "What does your wife have to say about it?"

"My wife is dead," Edward spit. "This is my sister-in-law."

Sue blushed, disappointed in herself for getting angry with a man who was obviously distraught and then jumping to conclusions. "I apologize. The point of my visit was to inform you of our cooperation and to offer my sympathies. If it was someone from within my tribe, rest assured we will prosecute them fairly."

Edward turned back to the hospital bed, unsure of what else to say. He heard Rose murmuring to Sue and wondered if she was apologizing for him acting like a caveman. He wouldn't put it past her.

"Edward."

He didn't look at Rose. "Yeah?"

"Are you going to be okay?"

Was he? No, he wasn't, and he didn't think he ever would be again. "I'm fine."

He heard her heavy sigh. "I have to go. I want to make sure you really will be okay."

"I don't need a babysitter, if that's what you mean." His tone was bitter because he felt as though he actually did need someone to look after him, and that was something he couldn't bear.

"Okay, I'm sorry for upsetting you." She came close enough to kiss his cheek and then she was gone.

He sat again, focusing on his daughter's face. The purple bruising covered a good portion of her cheek and forehead. The eye closest to him was swollen shut. He discovered that he was crying again and wiped at his face. She'd had a sponge bath that morning and looked better than when they'd brought her in, but it was still difficult to look at her and not feel the raging need to go out on a revenge killing.

When the door opened a second time he almost cussed. He didn't have the strength for another visitor.

"Edward?"

Startled at the familiar voice, he stood back up. "Bella."

She wore a gentle smile as she gestured to the door where she still stood. He followed her out to the hallway, glancing back once more at the bed before the door closed behind them.

"Have you thought about the counseling I mentioned?" she asked.

"I don't think that's something I need."

She watched him as he paced, his fingers scraping through his hair. Fingers that trembled. "All right."

"I don't know what you see when you look at me, but believe me, I'm not normally so—so wound up. I'm not neurotic."

"I believe you. Do you need me to stay with Maggie while you go home for a shower or a nap?"

He stopped his manic pacing. "What?"

Bella tried a different tactic. "Can I help you in any way?"

He stared at her for a few seconds. She had a patient expression on her face, like she had all the time in the world to stand there and let him act crazy. "Why would you help me?"

"I volunteer here at the hospital about once a week. I thought, under the circumstances, that you might appreciate some help." She stood with her hands clasped in front of her, hoping she hadn't offended him.

"Oh. Is that why you had a key card last night?"

"Yes, but also because my mother is the D.O.N."

"The what?"

"Director of Nursing."

"Oh." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I hate to even admit this, but I shouldn't drive. I can't remember the last time I slept properly." Then he remembered he didn't have a vehicle there, anyway.

"Okay. I can bring you a sandwich or a cup of coffee."

"I guess." He grimaced. "Um, thanks. That would be nice of you. I think my manners have gone out the window with my patience and understanding."

"That's quite all right. It's to be expected."

Bella smiled, and he looked at her more closely. She was petite, maybe a few inches above five feet, wearing jeans and a blazer. She'd pushed the sleeves up to her elbows and her hair was in a ponytail. It appeared as though she was waiting for him to say something else. "Um, a turkey sandwich and a cup of coffee."

"I'll be back in a few minutes."

He watched her leave before going back inside the hospital room. It was late afternoon by then. The night before, Emmett had taken Rose home after staying for most of the night. Ben had arrived just after his parents, bringing Angela. They didn't stay for more than an hour because Angela had to be up early to go to work. His parents had stayed until the clock told him the sun should be rising. Edward hadn't slept, hadn't eaten, hadn't left the room the entire time. He'd brought the ugly vinyl recliner close to her bed in an attempt to be more comfortable, but his brain refused to shut down when he tried to close his eyes. He shifted, trying to settle back into the chair. All he could picture was Maggie screaming as she was thrown down the well. Despite assurances that she was likely unconscious due to the head wound, he continued to see it played out like that.

He startled awake to see Bella sitting on the opposite side of the bed. She was humming something softly and running her hand over Maggie's hair. He blinked, clearing the sleep from his eyes as he tried to focus on them. He couldn't think of any specific reason for Bella to be helpful, yet there she was, caring for his baby.

"Oh, you're awake. I left your sandwich on the table there." She dropped the hand that had been resting on Maggie's pillow. "I'm afraid your coffee probably isn't hot anymore, but I didn't have the heart to wake you."

"I didn't even realize I fell asleep." His voice was thick and raspy so he cleared his throat. The clock on the far wall told him he'd slept for two hours. "You've been here the entire time?"

"Yeah. Um, the nurses came in and took her vitals. Other than that, it's been quiet in here."

He could only blink again. She'd removed her blazer but otherwise looked the same. "Thanks. I really did need some sleep."

"It's not a problem. Would you prefer if I left?"

Would he? He frowned, unsure of his answer. "I don't guess it matters."

She smiled at him and turned her attention back to Maggie. Bella stroked her fingers over Maggie's temple and down her head, careful to only touch the uninjured parts of her. She hummed something vaguely familiar, but Edward couldn't place it. Instead of eating, he found himself drifting back off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 9

Hi all! It's Melissa again, posting for Lara. She's traveling home today, and next week everything should be back to as normal as is possible. I just wanted to let you know that she appreciates all of your reviews and well wishes.

-HoS-

By the end of the third day after she was found, Edward still hadn't gone home. He wasn't willing to miss out on sitting with Maggie because there was no way to know when she might wake up. Esme continued to insist he leave for at least a little while, but he refused each time. It wasn't just that he couldn't stand the thought of her waking up alone; it was more that he wanted to be the first face she saw when she opened her eyes. There was a constant rotation of visitors to ensure he was never alone. According to Carlisle, the general public continued to shower his parents' front porch with gifts. Ben had made the rounds to Edward's house to pick up what was left there, and even the shop had a shrine set up out front. Edward thought the memorials were too much like a funeral, and since not being forced to have one was one thing he could be grateful for, he didn't appreciate the similarities. The flowers would die, the food go to waste, the stuffed animals would be donated. The cards and letters he might keep to give to Maggie one day, just so she would know how loved she was by the people in her city.

Carlisle sat with him for most of day three. He had given much of what was left on his stoop to Emmett and Rose so they didn't have to cook as well as babysit Edward. He brought something for Edward every day to encourage him to eat; usually, it was the donuts. "Edward, when did you sleep last?"

"I've been awake since four."

Carlisle sighed. "And when did you fall asleep?"

"Midnight."

There had been nobody there that late. Other than the nurse coming in to check on Maggie, it was dark and quiet in the room. It should have been the perfect atmosphere for him to sleep. Instead, images of a faceless man grabbing Maggie from the shop plagued his mind. There were no leads at that time, but he'd heard they had the make and model of the tire tracks. Unfortunately, it was a common brand and didn't help at the moment.

"When did you eat?"

It was Edward's turn to sigh. "This morning when the nurse brought me breakfast."

"Well, the backpack I brought you has food, clothes, and toiletries." Edward had been using the ensuite bathroom to shower, but only when a family member was there to watch over Maggie.

As Edward sat next to his father, he realized that he needed to express his gratitude. "Um, Dad, thanks. I know I've been a pain in the ass lately, but I do appreciate what you've done for me."

Carlisle rested his hand on Edward's shoulder. "Of course. You're going through a difficult time; nobody expects you to be any more or less than what you are."

_Any more or less_. There was nothing left inside him, no feelings, no emotions. He'd emptied himself of all of it, knowing that if he didn't, he would turn into a raging monster hell-bent on revenge. He had to bide his time, and he'd made peace with that. Maggie would always come first, but until she woke up, there was nothing. It was hard to remember to be polite, or to be grateful. He was just numb.

Emmett came and Carlisle left. It would almost be funny if it wasn't so pathetic. They were all watching him closely to ensure he didn't crack in a permanent way.

"Anything?" he asked Edward.

He didn't take his eyes off her. "No, nothing."

At least Emmett didn't sigh like it seemed everyone else did.

They sat in silence for a long time until Edward remembered he should ask about Rose. "How's your wife?"

"Worried, but good. Her blood pressure has stayed down since Maggie was found. She's been bored, I think. She's used to having something going on all day, and sitting in the house watching soaps isn't her thing."

Edward hummed. He knew about boredom. "Is the nursery ready?"

"Yep. She's washed and folded everything, rearranged the closet five times, and stocked the drawers of the changing table."

"Any customer complaints?"

Emmett shook his head before realizing that Edward wasn't focused on him, anyway. "No. They understand the situation. I finished the table for the Wescotts since it just needed another coat of lacquer. Ben delivered it yesterday."

"We have to have someone to fill in for Rose. You know, eventually." Assuming he ever had a reason to go back to work and make a living the way he used to, he would need a receptionist while Rose was on leave.

"She had some ideas about that, but I told her she should run them by you first."

Edward snorted. "Why? She can make that decision herself. I trust her."

"She was worried she'd pick someone you didn't like." Emmett sat back, crossing an ankle over the opposite knee. "She's considered Bella, Katrina, and Makenna."

Edward drummed his fingers on his knees. "Bella has a job. Katrina is, what, in high school or barely out? Makenna might be a good pick. I thought she worked at the Thriftway."

"She does, but apparently it's 'the worst.' Rose likes Bella, that's why she considered her."

"She's a dispatcher. I don't see her giving that up to be an interim receptionist for eight weeks."

"Probably not. According to Angela, Bella is friends with Jasper and his wife, Maggie's teacher."

Edward recalled seeing Alice at the search, where she informed him she was Mrs. Whitlock. "I like Alice. Too bad _she_ has a job."

They both fell silent, watching the bed and praying for signs that Maggie would wake up. It was an awful kind of vigil, at least for her father. He used to have a full, rich life that centered around his daughter, his family, and his job. He had hobbies like reading the occasional spy thriller, watching sports on TV, and running. Now he had nothing more than staring at a hospital bed.

Ben came in the room, pulling the remaining chair over to Edward's other side and clapping him on the shoulder before he sat down. "Anything?"

"Nope."

"I heard Rose is looking for someone to fill in for her."

Edward squeezed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "I'm liking Makenna for it. Katrina is too immature for me to put up with her for long. Whoever it is will stay on and be an assistant to Rose when she comes back."

"That sounds like a plan." Ben paused, looking at Edward's face for signs that he was overstepping. "I picked up another round of gifts from your house. I brought the stuffed animals here and gave them to the nurse at the desk."

"That's fine."

There was silence again.

"Do you need anything?" Ben asked after a few minutes.

"Dad just brought me clothes and soap and stuff, but thanks."

"I'll get some lunch for us, how does that sound?" He stood, hovering over Edward's seated form.

Edward looked up at him. "That would be great."

Emmett waited until Ben left the room. "I think he's going stir crazy without any work to keep him occupied."

"He can work. Too bad he never learned the carpentry aspect of the job, but he can go in and work."

"Maybe you should tell him that," Emmett suggested.

Edward shrugged. "When he comes back, I will."

The brothers didn't mind not talking constantly, unlike most everyone else that visited. They sat in companionable silence and looked at Maggie. Edward watched her chest rise and fall, the only visible sign that she was alive. He tended to watch the readout on her vitals monitor as well, but mostly he watched her breathe. She looked very young in her sleep to him, her face round and her muscles slack. He could remember everything about her birth and the way she'd filled his life ever since. He couldn't believe how much he missed her. As he watched her, her eyelids fluttered.

"Edward—"

"I saw."

He was on his feet before Emmett even got his name out. He leaned over her, stroking her forehead and speaking softly to her. Emmett got up and pressed the button to call the nurse before joining Edward at Maggie's side.

"Come on, Maggie. It's time to wake up. Daddy wants to see those pretty blue eyes."

Her eyelids fluttered again and she coughed.

Emmett picked up her hand. "Maggie, Uncle Em is here, too. We really want you to wake up."

A nurse walked in and looked at the three of them. "Did you need something?"

"She's waking up," Edward said without taking his gaze from Maggie. There were tears on his face that he left unchecked.

"It's possible that she's in REM sleep." Despite her statement, she checked all of Maggie's vitals and lightly shook her foot.

Maggie moaned a little and coughed again. She shifted her head on the pillow and blinked her eyes open. She stared up at Edward, but he got the impression she wasn't truly cognizant.

"Maggie," he said, exhaustion and exhilaration evident in his voice.

She blinked and smiled, then closed her eyes again. Edward's knees went weak and he started to sink to the floor, but Emmett gripped his elbow and guided him to his chair. If he'd been intently focused on her face before, it was nothing compared to now. Ben came in to find Edward crying and Emmett standing by Maggie's head.

"What's going on?"

Emmett looked up at him. "She opened her eyes, but only for a few seconds."

"Oh, wow." He set the food down on the rolling table and went to Edward's side. "What happens now?"

The nurse spoke up. "Nothing, really. She isn't fully awake, but I will make note of this and inform her physician."

Emmett murmured a thanks as she left. "I'm hungry, how about you, Edward?"

The sound he made was noncommittal.

"Come on, I got you a burger. You're losing weight, dude," Ben said. He handed one of the bags of food to Edward.

Edward broke his intense stare at his daughter long enough to thank Ben and take the food. He did as he was expected to do and ate. His mouth felt perpetually dry, and most of the food he consumed tasted like cardboard. But when Ben handed him a milkshake, he realized that he really wanted it.

"I think you just found the one thing I really want," he told him.

Ben grinned at him. "If you need to live off strawberry milkshakes, I'll bring one every day."

Edward smiled back at him. "Thanks for being here."

"Don't go getting emotional on me." Still, he sat back, satisfied that he'd helped Edward.

Edward's eyes closed as he sucked on the straw. "It's just that my mouth is always dry lately, and everything I eat sticks in my throat. This is perfect."

Emmett chuckled. "I feel like there's a _that's what she said _somewhere in there."

"Daddy?"

The three of them stopped talking and looked over at Maggie. Emmett wisely took the milkshake from Edward before he dropped it.

"Oh, baby girl." He stood so he could lean over and kiss her cheek. "How do you feel?" He picked up the hand closest to him and squeezed it lightly.

"Sleepy." Her voice was weak and scratchy.

"I bet. You can sleep. We'll be here when you wake up."

She nodded and closed her eyes again, her hand going limp in his.

He sank back in his chair, still holding her hand. "Call Mom and Dad."

"On it," Emmett said.

"Holy crap, Edward. She's going to be okay, isn't she?"

He couldn't know for sure, but there was a feeling taking root in his gut. At first he wasn't sure what it was, but soon he figured it out.

It was hope.


	11. Chapter 10

**I'm back! Thank you all for your kind words and well wishes. I have to admit that I'm having a hard time. I can't seem to get in the groove with any of the things I typically enjoy. I gave myself until Monday to decompress and fool around, and it helped some. Depression would easily set in if I didn't keep going so I'm working on putting words to paper. Thankfully, I'm almost finished with chapter 15. These are the times I'm thankful I was wise enough to wait until I'd hoarded chapters before posting.**

* * *

They came in droves. His parents, the elementary school teachers, friends and even strangers. They weren't allowed in to see Maggie, but there was an influx of people that Edward was unprepared to face. He felt like a fish in a tank. _Tap on the glass harder, see if they'll scatter_. He appreciated the support, but he didn't enjoy feeling so overwhelmed with so many people wanting to shake his hand or catch a glimpse of the man whose daughter went missing. They didn't get much crime in Forks and Maggie's abduction had turned the Cullen family into a sideshow. He tried to be cordial until it simply became too much. He hated being down the hall giving face time to strangers when Maggie might wake up again. Eventually, Carlisle was the only one to greet visitors in the waiting room.

Edward mastered one thing though. He'd compartmentalized his feelings for the sake of his daughter. Between the agony of what happened to her and the anger, he had to keep it all under wraps if he wanted to maintain his sanity. It sat there in the back of his mind, festering into an ugly sore. He was ready, more than ready, to unleash everything building up, but he knew he had to bide his time.

Maggie opened her eyes several times the following day. She would blink, shift around and focus on her father, and typically fall back to sleep. He knew she needed all the rest she could get so that she could heal, but he wanted her awake and reassuring him she was better. He didn't care if that made him selfish.

It was the rare time of evening when he was alone and everything was quiet as he sat with Maggie's hand in his. Her color had returned to her cheeks and she looked healthier already. She stirred, and his heart jumped in his chest. He waited to see if she would open her eyes again.

"Maggie?"

He said her name quietly, rubbing his thumb back and forth over her knuckles. He watched her eyelids flutter and he smiled.

"Excuse me, Edward?"

The soft voice was as familiar to him as any, now. He looked over his shoulder to find Bella standing just inside the door. "Hey."

She gave him her gentle smile. "I don't mean to interrupt you, but I want to ask if you need a break."

He looked back at Maggie, who was motionless once more. "You know, I've been out of this room an awful lot today."

Bella came and sat in the chair next to his. "Visitors?"

"Yeah." He didn't say anything else for a few minutes, and she let him be. "Do you think I'll ever feel like I can just go home? Like I don't have to worry or hover?"

Bella watched Edward's profile as he kept his gaze on the bed. "I would guess so, eventually. You've been through a trauma, Edward, and it's understandable that you'd want to maintain a vigil on your daughter. She's what's most important to you."

He looked over, slowly tearing his focus from Maggie to stare at Bella. "Most people are encouraging me to go home. Almost everybody except Emmett has told me that she'll be fine, _I'll_ be fine."

Bella shrugged. "I tend to deal in facts, and the fact is you're not ready. Maybe it's easier to see from the outside."

He looked back at Maggie. "That's probably it."

They were silent for a time as they watched Maggie. For Edward, he watched the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed steadily.

"I can sit with her if you need to shower or get something to eat," Bella said into the silent room.

He took a deep breath. It had been a long day, full of activity and people. He needed time alone, and there was only one way to get it in that hospital. "I think I'll get a shower, if that's okay?"

"Of course. I promise not to leave."

Edward took his bag into the bathroom and locked the door. He'd been doing a decent job of holding it in, he thought. He twisted the knob on the wall of the shower so the water would heat while he stripped off his clothes. He was weary to the bone, dragged down to the base of his humanity. He couldn't help but think he was failing the test God put before him. When he was in the shower and the hot water streamed over his head, he closed his eyes against all that was crushing him and wept. He covered his face with his hands and fell against the tiled wall, shoulders shaking and knees trembling. The grief was suffocating him, and he couldn't get his breath to cooperate. He needed the one person he couldn't have. He needed his daughter's mother, his wife, his life companion that was meant to always be there to help him through the hard times. He missed Beth more intensely than he could recall ever missing her before. After some time, he sank to the bottom, drowning in his sorrow until there was nothing left of him but the empty husk to which he was growing accustomed.

Bella was singing to Maggie again when Edward emerged from the steamy bathroom. Her head was down as she focused her attention on the girl in the bed. She would never tell Edward that she could hear him breaking down on the other side of the wall. She wouldn't tell him that she wanted nothing more than to be able to comfort him in his agony. She wouldn't tell him she sang to avoid hearing the stabbing pain of his sorrow and to keep her focus on Maggie. She'd wiped her face free of the tears that fell unbidden just as she heard him open the bathroom door. It wouldn't help him to see her crying, so she hid it from him. She finished the song as he situated himself back in his chair and then she stood.

"Are you set for the night?" she asked in a voice thickened by suppressed emotions.

"I am, thanks."

He didn't look at her, and for that, she was grateful. She fled the room without another word.

As the door closed, Maggie's eyes opened. "Daddy?"

Her voice was little more than a whisper. Edward smiled down at her. "Magpie."

"I'm thirsty."

Edward stood up and pushed the call button as he leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Okay, baby. How do you feel other than that?"

She yawned. "Done with sleeping."

He laughed in relief. "That would be great, Maggie."

The nurse came in and saw Maggie was awake. She raised the head of the bed to help Maggie sit up, and after Edward made sure he could give her a drink, he held the cup with the straw to her lips. She drank it all.

"More water, please," she rasped.

"Oh, sweet girl." Edward wiped away his tears as he leaned over her, pulling her head to his chest. "I love you."

"I know that." Her words were muffled into his shirt.

"Are you really feeling okay?" He pulled away and sat in his favorite spot while the nurse looked over the machines and the readouts.

"Yes, Daddy. Why am I in the hospital?" She scrunched her nose as she looked around the room.

"You don't remember?"

"Not really."

Edward sagged against the back of the chair, squeezing her hand in his. He was so happy that she wasn't burdened with those thoughts.

"The memories might or might not come back to her. The bump to her head was significant, but time will tell."

Edward thanked the nurse and watched her leave the room. "Do you want me to call everyone, Magpie, or are you sleepy again?"

"I don't know."

"Okay. Don't worry about it."

"What happened, Daddy?"

Edward sighed quietly. He knew he couldn't avoid talking to her about what happened, but he was so reluctant to relive it, or to have her relive it. "You wandered off, I guess. We found you asleep after you'd fallen down."

Maggie frowned. "I fell down?"

"It seems like it."

"That's how I bumped my head?" She touched the bandage on her temple.

Edward swallowed hard and nodded. It was somewhat the truth. She lifted her elbow, indicating the arm in the sling. "You broke it when you fell."

She looked down at the cast covering her arm and the blue sling it was nestled in. Edward thought she would ask more questions, but she just looked up at him again. "Can I watch TV?"

Edward laughed. "Absolutely."

One of the patient care aides came back with a refilled water cup and handed it to Edward. When Maggie had her fill, he switched on the TV that was mounted high on the wall opposite the bed and flipped through the channels until he found something about horses. He shifted the recliner he always sat in until it was lined up with the bed and sat there holding her hand as they watched the show. He wasn't too surprised to find her asleep again after half an hour. It was more time than he'd had with her in a week, and he was happy to have it. He tucked the sheet and the blanket up to her chin as she snored softly and kissed her forehead.

He called his brother without thinking to look at the time first.

"Edward? Is something wrong?"

"Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't think about the time." He glanced at the clock and winced when he saw it was after midnight. "Maggie was awake and we talked."

"Wow, okay." Edward heard rustling on the other end of the phone. "How long was she awake? What did she say?"

"She asked what happened. She doesn't remember anything, but the nurse said her memories could come back."

"So she's asleep again?" Emmett asked, and Edward heard Rose's voice murmuring something.

"Yeah. We watched TV, Em. She was perfect except for what she couldn't remember."

"That's great, brother. Kiss her for me, and I'll come by in the morning."

"You think I should call Mom and Dad, or let them sleep?"

Emmett laughed. "Dad wouldn't mind being woken, but you know how Mom gets without sleep."

Edward discovered he could actually see the humor in that. His mood was improving. "Okay, I'll wait until the sun comes up. Love you, man."

"I love you, Edward. Rose says she loves you, too, and we'll both see you in the morning. Good night."

Yeah, his mood had improved. He wanted to go and find out if Bella was still in the hospital. She'd never met Maggie while she was awake. He figured she'd already gone home, though, so he contented himself with watching something mindless on the TV set he hadn't turned off.

There were visitors again the next morning, some wanted and some unwanted. Edward had made the decision not to leave her room, though. Emmett and Rose came first, followed by Ben and Angela for a brief visit before she went to work.

"I can only stay for a minute, Edward, but I was so happy when Rose said she'd woken up last night." Angela hadn't been on his list of babysitters, but she'd still made an effort to come a few times that week.

"It was over too fast, but it was nice to see her smiling and talking to me," he told her.

Ben gave Edward a one-armed hug. "It's good that she was talking and everything."

"It's a big relief." Edward sat in his chair and watched Maggie sleeping. "I was worried she'd have lingering issues that we wouldn't know about until she woke up."

"Let me run Angie to work and then I'll be back, okay?"

"All right, Ben, I'll see you later."

Rose sat and Emmett stood behind her. "It's a burden off your shoulders, I hope," she said to Edward.

"It is. You know how worried I was that something was seriously wrong with her."

"I hope that we can find out who did this. Maybe she'll remember who it was." Emmett rested his hands on Rose's shoulders and massaged them.

"I still say it was one of the Quileutes," Edward muttered.

"Why do you think that?" Rose asked with a frown.

Edward scoffed as he glared over toward the door, remembering the way Susan Black had come in there talking about it. "She was found on their land, but they wouldn't let us search at first."

"But what reason would any of them have had to be behind your property in the first place?" Rose pointed out. "Were they wandering around behind the shop for a reason?"

"It's heavily wooded, so anyone could have come from the forest. I don't know why they'd want to be back there, maybe they were just hiking and saw a little girl outside alone."

"I think it was a set of coincidences," Emmett said. "Maggie walked outside, and the person that took her happened to be there and saw an opportunity."

"An opportunity for what?" Edward said, his voice growing louder. "She's five!"

Rose put a hand up. "Lower your voice before you wake her with your shouting. As much as you want her awake, I don't think you want it to be because you're screaming about her."

Edward clamped his lips between his teeth to keep in the retort that sat on the tip of his tongue. The worst didn't happen, he reminded himself. Whatever the kidnapper wanted, they didn't get the chance to follow through on much. He took a deep breath and blew it out. "I still say the chief is going to cover up what went on to keep their reputation intact."

"I didn't get the impression that the FPD was going to let them be in charge, Edward, so I believe it's just a matter of time before they find out who it was." Rose shifted to try to get comfortable before realizing she really needed the bathroom. She got up and left the brothers alone.

"Are you still planning to do . . . something?"

Edward looked up at Emmett. "If I hear who it was and get there first, you bet your ass."

Emmett sighed and took the vacated chair, leaning on his knees to level his gaze at Edward. "You know I will always have your back, but neither of us can afford to go to jail."

"You didn't hear that woman, the chief, trying to kiss up and talk about how they would take care of it if it was one of them. She's going to insist on taking care of it instead of letting the police do it, and the guy will walk free."

"I don't know, Edward."

"I guess we'll see, won't we?" He wouldn't expect Emmett to put his life on the line for this, but he wouldn't let it go, either. He couldn't.

* * *

**If you're at all interested in my published books, I just launched the second in a series before I went out of town. The third installment will go live on June 21. You can find me on Amazon under Lara Norman.**


	12. Chapter 11

**I'll see you at the bottom. **

* * *

The next day passed slowly for Edward. He was itching to get out, to get Maggie and run from that place. He was sick of the hospital, sick of the machines and the constant stream of people. He realized that he needed to go, to be out in the world before he lost his mind. Guilt ate at him for having those feelings. Maggie needed him. She was awake more and more, and she would want him by her side. His emotions warred within him as he tried to determine the right thing to do. His dad was going to be there in less than an hour, and he thought that he'd see the others later, too. All of his friends and family had been there the day before when Maggie stayed awake for a solid hour. They'd listened intently to the diagnosis that she was regaining her memory. She knew she'd been in a well, and she knew that there had been someone there. The doctor predicted that it was just a matter of days before the rest came back to her.

Sergeant Whitlock was supposed to arrive later in the afternoon to tell Edward everything they'd learned. He was confident they were close to piecing together what happened, and the only missing link was who the perpetrator had been. Edward was positive he was right and that it was going to be one of the Quileute men. He was looking forward to taking them on, whoever it was. He had learned to keep his thoughts on the matter to himself though. He didn't want to worry Rose, and he certainly didn't want Emmett to get involved. They had a baby coming very soon and they would have enough on their plates without adding Edward to their list of worries. His parents could take care of Maggie if Edward put himself in a bind. The idea of getting retribution warmed him from the inside out.

Maggie woke early in the morning. She smiled at her father and chattered about being hungry. She'd been allowed pudding, which was no hardship at all, and since it stayed down, they were slowly going to introduce more soft foods.

"Daddy, when is Grandpa going to be here?"

He smiled at her. "In about thirty minutes. See the clock? When the little hand is at the six."

She bounced a little in the bed. "I miss him."

"You've only seen him for a tiny bit, huh?"

She nodded. "I'm happy he's coming and I'm awake."

"I know, sweetie."

He turned the TV on for her, trying to find something to occupy her until his dad came. Edward was determined to go home and get some things for her, like books and her favorite stuffed horse. He felt certain his dad could handle staying with her.

The door opened and Carlisle poked his head in. His face lit up when he saw that Maggie was awake. "Margaret May! I love seeing your eyes open."

He hurried to the bed, and Maggie squealed in her excitement. He set down the box of donuts he'd been carrying and enveloped her in a bear hug. "Grandpa, I missed you!"

"I missed you, too, pumpkin."

Edward stood to give them a few minutes together. He stretched his legs a bit and stood at the small window that overlooked the parking lot. He was restless, suddenly dying to leave the room.

"Dad." He turned to face his father and daughter. "I'm going to go home for a little bit. I promise I won't be long."

He kissed Maggie on the top of the head before grabbing his coat and the car keys his father offered him. He jogged down the hallway and felt his heart racing in his throat. If something happened while he was gone, he would never forgive himself. He simply couldn't spend one more second cooped up. He walked through visitor parking, clicking the lock button on the key fob he held until he found his dad's car. Forks being such a small town, Edward's house was only a seven-minute drive from the hospital and he was soon pulling into the driveway.

He hadn't been home since the night she went missing. He'd spent his time at his parents' house after that, and then lived at the hospital. He had loved that house from the second Beth picked it, but as he let himself inside, he suddenly hated it. He didn't want to be there anymore. He didn't like the reminders of Beth, the paint colors she'd picked, or the fact that he and Maggie were alone. He wanted to be closer to his parents; in their house, for now. He knew Maggie would agree with him once she was released. He made a note to call the only realtor he knew once he had a minute.

He was rather shocked to discover that he felt uncomfortable in his house as he walked through the living room to the stairs. There was a pile of cards and letters on the kitchen island that he could see on his way up to the landing. As he neared the second floor, he spotted Maggie's open door. There was a huge mound of stuffed animals on the floor of her room, but he only wanted her constant companion. He picked Horsey up off the bed and tucked it under his arm. Maggie had a bag somewhere in the closet, and he dug it out to drop the horse in and find her some more things.

He stared at the bookshelf, finally picking a few books and placing them in the bag hanging from his arm. He picked through her clothes drawer next, adding two nightgowns. When he was satisfied, he brought the bag into his room. He decided to take a shower in his own bathroom for a change and then added clean clothes to the bag he was packing. He looked longingly at his bed and figured a nap would be in his best interest. He let out a groan of satisfaction as he stretched out.

He was startled awake by his cell phone ringing. Groaning, he plucked it from the bedside table. "Hello."

"Mr. Cullen, it's Whitlock."

"Hi." He sat up and rubbed his face.

"I've got some information for you. The tire tracks at the well match tracks from the area surrounding your shop. We've narrowed it down to one of your company vehicles, and I can pretty much guarantee I know who it was."

The sound of rushing water filled his head as Jasper proceeded to share his suspicions. He heard Jasper, but he might as well have been speaking from very far away. The words registered, but he couldn't comprehend them.

"Edward! Did you hear me?"

"He's at the hospital," Edward choked out. "He's with her right now." Fury, fear, and panic grabbed him in a stranglehold. "You have to get there right now! There's no way to know what he'll do to her if he thinks she'll remember."

"I'm nowhere near the hospital, Edward, but Bella is supposed to be there. I'll call her and have her go to Maggie's room. I'll call hospital security. Everything will be fine, I promise!"

It was the cold wash of betrayal that made Edward numb. He couldn't believe it, didn't want to believe it was true. "Are you positive, Jasper?"

"I'm positive, Edward. I'm sorry."

He forgot everything at the house as he ran out and got in the car. He didn't lock the door; he didn't put on his jacket. He sped down the street to the hospital with the dread in his gut pushing up the small amount of food he'd consumed earlier in the day. He barely made it to the lot before he had to stop the car and push his way out to puke on the pavement. The second he finished, he was racing as fast as his feet would take him. It was very much like the night she'd been brought in, except that he was terrified of what that monster would do to her if he was left alone with her. He knew she was remembering, and he knew how close he was to being ratted out by a five-year-old. Edward choked on a sob as he ran, agony over the possibility of what might happen warring with the sharp stab of deceit. The elevator would never be fast enough; he ran for the sign that indicated the stairs. He took them two at a time, bolting through the door on her floor and plowing directly into someone on the other side.

"Sorry!" was the best he could manage.

He tore off down the hall in the direction of Maggie's room. He desperately hoped that she was safe. He couldn't focus on anything else until he discovered that one thing was true. When he rounded the corner and could see her door, he was so relieved to see a security guard outside her room that he almost stopped breathing. He drew to a stop in front of the man in uniform and panted heavily.

"I'm her father, Edward Cullen. Please, is she okay?"

"I'm sorry, sir, I need to see your ID if I'm going to answer questions or allow you inside."

"Shit." He squeezed his eyes closed as his head spun. "My wallet is at home. I was in such a hurry. Please, the nurses know me. Please let me in."

"Edward?"

He wept at the sound of Bella's voice. She stood in the doorway behind the officer who turned to look at her. "You'll vouch for him, Miss Swan?"

"Yes, Frank, he's the girl's father."

Edward didn't wait for any pleasantries, he just pushed past Bella and into the darkened room. The sky was overcast and the lights were mostly off. The little girl in the bed was very still, and Edward froze as he waited for her chest to rise. When it did, he dropped into the nearest chair. He was empty. Cold. Lost.

"Edward?"

He didn't look up. "Did you speak to Jasper?"

"I did, but he merely told me to get to her room immediately. What's going on?" She kneeled in front of his chair so she could see his face. The misery she saw there was too much for her to bear.

"Was anyone in here with her?"

"No, Edward." She touched his hand. "What's going on?"

"Jasper knows who it is."

"Oh." Bella pressed a hand to her stomach. "I take it that it's bad?"

Edward stared at her then. She saw the results of his trauma, the creases of worry and lack of sleep. She saw the way his eyes were full of tears and anguish. She felt her heart flop into her stomach.

"It's beyond bad, Bella. It's more than I can even fathom. It's—I can't—"

His words cut off with a strangled cry. He dropped his head into his hands, trying to decide what the right thing to do was. He wanted revenge now more than ever. It wasn't some stranger that tried to kill his baby girl. No, that would have hurt less than this crushing sensation. How had he not seen it when it was right there in front of him the whole time? Worse, he'd been a comfort to Edward when he'd _known_ the whole time what he'd done. What a farce!

"I'm going to kill him."

Edward said it so quietly that Bella thought she hadn't heard him correctly. He stood abruptly, and she braced herself on the foot of the bed to keep from falling on the floor as he moved past her. He stopped outside the door.

"You'll make certain no one goes in or out? No one but Sergeant Whitlock or Chief Swan and his daughter."

"Yes, sir, those are my orders."

Satisfied that Maggie would be taken care of, Edward made his way back down and outside. He knew what he had to do.

He heard her before she spoke. She was running after him, and she was noisy as her shoes hit the pavement. "Edward!"

He ignored her. He walked, taking the shortest route through the forest. He knew what he was going to do. He was going to find the proof first and then he was going to drag him out and beat the shit out of him. His blood was boiling with the duplicity.

"Edward!"

He picked up his pace. Where was the loyalty? Where was the bond, the ties that he thought bound them together? There was no getting past this. Not something this heinous. He was more than mad; he was furious, he was pissed, and the rage built until he was hot and breathing harshly as he jogged to his destination.

He found the truck first. There was mud on the tires, as was to be expected. That didn't mean anything. He looked inside the cab, finding nothing out of the ordinary. It was when he looked in the bed of the truck that he found what he'd been looking for; proof that Jasper was right. Overlooked because he wasn't a suspect, Edward was sure of it. He knew Jasper wanted the truck, knew that he would have found Maggie's hair clip soon.

With it in his hand, he spun toward the shop and pushed his way inside. A rampage was brewing and it was clear on his face.

He came around the counter. "Edward, what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, motherfucker," he seethed.

His eyes widened. "What?"

"I know. I know it was you."

"No, Edward." He stopped walking, shock evident on his face.

"It was you!" Edward roared. "Don't try to deny it!" He held up the hair clip. "Guess where I found this?"

He ran.

Edward wasn't surprised in the least, and he took off after him. He was a coward, the lowest form of scum, covering his own ass. Edward was faster.

They crashed, rolled, and dirt flew. Edward's fist connected with flesh, and he sent up a howl full of heartbreak.

"You fucking bastard! You betrayed me!"

He punched him again. And again. His knuckles were slick with blood, and yet he continued to whale on the man on the ground. Tears ran down his face to mix with the blood and soak the earth.

"How could you do it? How could you?" he repeated with each strike.

"Edward!"

The scream was shrill enough to split the sky. Bella's hands were on him, yanking him off his victim and to the ground. "Enough! You'll kill him, and then you can't be there for Maggie!"

"He deserves it!" Edward shouted up at her. He couldn't see her face for the tears as he lay in the mud.

"_You_ don't! You deserve to live by her side instead of in prison! There's no coming back from this if you continue."

He brought his arms up and crossed them over his face. He couldn't take it anymore. His heart had been broken too many times. He felt the panic attack coming and let it consume him.

He welcomed the oblivion.

* * *

**I thought about warning you ahead of time, but it would have spoiled it. Last chance to place your bets on who you think it is.**


	13. Chapter 12

**lhw1230, you have your PMs disabled, but thank you for reviewing.**

* * *

There were flashing lights behind his eyelids. He didn't want to open them, didn't want to face the truth he'd just discovered. It was more than he could mentally and emotionally handle. It was simply too much. He wanted to hide under the blankets from the monster he now saw when he looked into the eyes of the man he'd known for so fucking long. None of that had mattered to him when he'd done what he did, clearly. No loyalty, no brotherhood, no love.

There were people saying his name. They'd repeated it so many times that their voices grew frantic. But he liked it there in his void. It welcomed him, held him and offered succor to his shattered heart. He used to think he was strong. He'd had his whole life planned out in a way that made him happy. He worked hard to have all his dreams fulfilled, only to have them cruelly snatched away. No, he didn't want to wake up. He wanted to remain where he was with his corroded soul and heart of stone.

He quickly realized he didn't have the luxury of hiding as he heard more and more voices calling to him. He couldn't let his mother suffer because he wanted to retreat from reality. He couldn't imagine how she had taken the news. He heard Rosalie, teary-eyed and apologetic as usual. He wished she would realize he didn't blame her. Jasper was talking, telling them to back off and give everyone space. Edward remembered the phone call he'd had with Jasper earlier in the day and felt a fresh wave of agony. He moaned, doubling over as the kick-in-the-stomach feeling grew more pronounced.

"Come on, Edward, everyone is worried about you." Edward recognized Chief Swan's voice.

"Has he been arrested?" Edward croaked out.

"As we speak."

With a final goodbye to the life he once knew, he opened his eyes. The muted light of the overcast day was a blessing. He blinked several times and focused on Charlie Swan.

"I couldn't let him get away. I couldn't." He sounded like a petulant child to his own ears.

"I know, Mr. Cullen."

Edward wiped at his face as he realized he was crying. He sat up, discovering he was still on the muddy ground, and looked for the traitor. He zeroed in on the deputy that was speaking to him as he stood there in handcuffs.

Chief Swan walked away to speak to the crowd, and Jasper remained with Edward. It didn't go unnoticed by Edward that Jasper blocked his view. "I can't believe it was him."

Jasper snorted. "It's always the ones closest to us that we least suspect."

Edward realized that his entire foundation was shaken. Who could he trust? How could he trust anybody from now on? "What did he have to say for himself?"

Jasper sighed. "Look, Edward. You need medical attention. Let us get you in an ambulance and get you to the hospital. Your family wants to talk to you and I know you want to get back to Maggie."

"No. No ambulance, no treatment. No family."

"No family? Edward—"

"I said no family!" he shouted. He didn't have it in him to face any of them. What would they say? Would they blame him for not seeing it coming? Was it his fault?

Jasper put his hands up. "Okay, I hear you. You don't want to go to Maggie looking like that though."

Edward looked down at himself. His knuckles were bloody. His sweatshirt was stained with a mixture of blood and mud, and it had a tear at the hem. Again, he felt like a child.

"I'll go home and change."

Jasper tried to come up with a tactful way to explain the situation to Edward. "You and I are going to have a talk, yeah?"

Edward looked at Jasper in surprise. He was in his uniform, including a thick black jacket with the embroidered _J. Whitlock_ on one side. It was an official talk, then. "Okay. Can it be at my house?"

"Sure, Edward. You don't strike me as a flight risk, anyway, but I'll drive you over."

Edward stood carefully. His bones ached. He wasn't a child, he was ancient and moldy. He saw the crime scene tape surrounding the parking lot. There were the curious, the officials, and his family; what was left of them. His mother was crying almost hysterically, holding onto Rose as they supported each other. Rose was a mess. Edward felt sorry for her.

"I don't want to speak to them, but I don't want them to worry about me."

"I'll take care of it, Edward." Jasper went to the line of bright yellow tape and spoke quietly to the Cullen women. They cried harder, and Esme kept her gaze on her son.

Edward had to lower his head. He couldn't look at her. Feelings of guilt engulfed him once more.

When Jasper came for him, he led Edward to his official car and let him slide in the front. They didn't exchange small talk on the way, and the sergeant didn't feel the need to begin an interrogation on such a short drive. They pulled in front of the modest two-story in Robin's egg blue. Edward stared at the white shutters and suddenly realized why he'd felt so uncomfortable there earlier. It was a logical reaction, all things considered.

The two men went inside the house. Jasper sat at the kitchen table while Edward jogged up the stairs to take a shower. He was quick about it, conscious of the other man's time. He saw the bag he'd packed earlier and took it downstairs with him. He made a pot of coffee and stared out the back window as it brewed.

"I'm selling the house."

"Oh?"

"I can't stand the thought of him having been in here. It makes my skin crawl. I won't bring Maggie back here."

"Where will you live?" Jasper glanced at the yellow notepad in front of him. He wasn't taking notes just yet.

"I don't know anymore. I thought with my parents until I could find something else, but I just don't know. Everything I thought I knew is a lie."

"What happened, Edward?"

Edward turned to retrieve mugs from the cabinet and filled them. He set one in front of Jasper and sat across from him with the other. "I went to the hospital first." He rubbed a shaking hand over his mouth. "I had to see that she was okay. There was a guard on the door and Bella was inside the room."

"And you went in, spoke to Bella?" Jasper prompted as he wrote.

"Yeah. I told her you knew who it was, but I didn't say anything else. I couldn't even form the words."

There was silence as Edward thought about what happened after that. It was very blurry. He looked down at his busted hands and took a sip of coffee. "I ran. I don't remember everything. I just knew that I needed to check the truck you mentioned. I wanted to see for myself."

"And what did you find?"

Tears slipped down Edward's face. He wiped them away. "Maggie's hair clip from the day she went missing. It was in the bed of the truck under a leaf."

Jasper noticed that the cup shook when Edward picked it up again. "And then?"

"I know who drives that truck the most. I knew what you'd said. I couldn't—I didn't—"

"Breathe, Edward. In and out."

Edward thumped his fist to his chest, tear-streaked eyes meeting Jasper's. "How _could _he?"

"I don't know yet. He wasn't very forthcoming with answers."

Edward's breath left him in a whoosh. "I don't care what you have to do to me. I know I was in the wrong."

"Edward, I don't think anyone wants to prosecute you." Jasper tapped his pen on his pad. "You messed his face up pretty good. It's a good thing Bella called her dad on her way there."

"I wanted to kill him." _Still do_.

"Obviously, I can't let you do that."

Edward snorted. "Obviously."

"You were in shock, Edward. You suffered a trauma. I sincerely doubt any court would find you guilty should I feel the need to arrest you." Jasper jotted something down and both men jumped at the pounding on the door.

"Let me get that," Jasper said in a warning tone.

Edward followed Jasper out of the kitchen. The pounding was harder by then, and Jasper held an arm out to keep Edward behind him. He looked through the door scope and sighed heavily.

"You need to keep your mouth shut and let me handle this."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Who is it?"

Jasper shot him a look and opened the door.

Edward gasped. "Angela!"

"I want him arrested!" She directed her shouting at Jasper but she pointed at Edward. "Did you see what he did to my husband?"

"Ma'am, lower your voice."

"Don't tell me to lower my voice! Why haven't you arrested him yet?" Everything about her was indignant, from her body language to the tone of her voice.

Edward was silently seething, desperate to unleash some of his anger on Ben's wife. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, but he was trying so hard to abide by Jasper's orders.

"Mrs. Cheney, you need to leave. You're on private property. If you wish to discuss the matter of your husband's case, you may go to the station and speak to someone there."

That seemed to deflate her entirely. "His case? What case? What are you talking about?"

Edward closed his eyes. He had a feeling Angela was in the dark, but it was hard to know. With his trust smashed to pieces, he was no longer certain of anything.

Jasper sighed. "I can repeat my previous statement, if necessary."

Angela gaped at the two of them, tears coming to her eyes. She covered her open mouth with her hand, glared at Edward, and turned to go. They watched her walk down the front walk to her car in the driveway. Jasper shut the door.

"All the time he spent with me. The times he came here and collected the stuff the neighbors left. He helped us search for her when he knew exactly where she was, for Christ's sake. He grieved with me. He knew that I feared she was dead, and he never said a fucking word."

"I can't pretend to understand how you feel, Edward, but I can assure you that when all is said and done, those actions will weigh against him."

They went back to the kitchen and dumped out what was left of their cold coffee. There was a feeling sitting in Edward's gut. It was a pebble at first, the kernel of emotions all mixed up to make him feel nauseous. It had grown over the course of the day so that it became a marble slab. He was weighed down by the events of the day, by the thought that someone he had loved like a brother could betray him in such a brutal manner. Why in God's name would Ben want to harm Maggie? With no request for ransom, it hadn't been for financial gain. Edward was positive he'd never treated Ben as anything other than his dearest friend, his surrogate brother. Jealousy didn't make sense. So _why_?

"You want me to take you back to Forks Community?"

Edward jumped as Jasper spoke. His mind had been a million miles away. "Uh, sure."

He stared out the car window, thinking about where he was supposed to go from there. He had no clue what he was doing with his life anymore. Everything had fallen apart. Whatever he touched turned to shit until he was left with next to nothing. Maggie didn't deserve to suffer because of his shortcomings. How was he going to nurture her, raise her, when he was terrified of fucking her up more than she already had been? If his mere presence was the catalyst for disaster, then where did he fit in?

He was afraid the answer was nowhere.

He thanked Jasper for the ride and walked calmly into the building that felt like his second home. He took the elevator up to the correct floor and wondered how many family members he'd have to face. He didn't have the right words for what they would surely ask. How could he answer questions when he had so many of his own?

"Edward."

He stopped walking. He didn't turn around, but he waited for her to catch up. She came to a stop beside him and merely stood there. He wished he could suck up her strength through osmosis. For a second he wanted to physically lean on her for support, but he straightened his spine and looked at her expectantly.

"I wanted to apologize in case I overstepped."

"No, you were right." He looked into her dark brown eyes and saw the sincerity. But Ben had looked sincere, too. "I shouldn't have attacked him."

"I thought you were really going to kill him." Her voice was soft, her head tilted and her hands clasped in front of her. Earnest was the word he would use to describe her.

"I was."

Edward walked away from her to face whoever waited for him in his daughter's room. It suddenly felt like a firing squad instead of his loving family. He was queasy at the thought of facing them and suddenly wanted all of them gone.

He became aware that Bella was following him. He let her catch up and then decided he might as well ask for what he wanted. "Can you tell them all to leave?"

"Who?"

"My family."

He saw the frown flit across her features. "There's nobody there but Frank at the door. I was in there until she fell asleep, and then I went down the hall for a bathroom break and a cup of coffee."

"Oh." He paused in front of the security guard. "This time I have my license." He fished it out of his wallet and handed it over.

"You're good, sir."

Edward pushed open the door and didn't complain when Bella followed. She'd saved his ass enough times that he couldn't find it in him to protest.

Maggie was sleeping as Bella had said. She was on her side, not her favorite position, and Edward wondered why she would choose to sleep like that.

"Her leg was bothering her. The nurse propped it with a few pillows and she found more comfort on her side."

As though his heart could still break, Edward felt a sharp pain in his chest as he thought of Maggie's broken hip and how much pain she might have been in. He sank into the chair nearest the bed, the recliner he'd claimed from the first day, and bowed over his daughter's hand. He wanted to cry; he felt the sting to his eyes, but there was nothing left in him. Nothing but a mountain of grief, and he was too debilitated to scale it.

* * *

**If you're in my FB group, I'm going to post the song that inspired the story. If you're not in the group, you'll have to wait until next week's chapter if you're not inclined to join.**

**Almost all of you guessed correctly, so I can only hope I made your heart pound with the way it played out.**

**As many times as I've read this chapter, I can't find a good place to add in the reason Angela knows Ben was beaten but not that he was arrested. She heard bits and pieces from witnesses as the town gossiped about it.**

**This is technically the only clue from the last chapter that it wasn't Carlisle: ****"His dad was going to be there in less than an hour, _and he thought that he'd see the others later, too."_ Carlisle would easily have entrusted Ben to stay with Maggie. Any and all of them have helped at the shop at one point or another, so the truck wasn't meant to be a big clue. Edward fell asleep at home for hours; once he discovered that Ben already left the hospital, as he says in this chapter, he wanted to check the truck first and found Ben at the shop.**


	14. Chapter 13

Edward couldn't leave Maggie. Everything had gone to hell the last time he left, and he wouldn't make that mistake again. He was on a steady rotation of babysitters once more, but he was finding it difficult to talk to any of them. Nothing they said would change what they'd gone through, or the fact that someone they loved had broken their trust.

"Honey, it isn't your fault," Esme had said.

"We've got to lean on each other to get through this," Carlisle told him.

"I'm here for you, brother, whatever you need."

Rosalie was the only silent presence. She wept as she sat with Edward and Maggie. He felt the weight of her guilt as his own. She didn't see what had happened. She didn't notice Maggie slip out. She felt responsible. Angela was her best friend, and she'd missed whatever signs pointed to Ben being unstable.

All of this, he knew. It was etched in his skull, tattooed on his brain. Guilt was a constant companion. It gnawed on his intestines and twisted them up in knots until it was all he could feel. He jumped at every noise, looked over his shoulder more often than he should, and he didn't trust anyone to be completely honest. Everyone had an agenda, even if it was relatively innocent. Maybe their agenda was nothing more than looking out for themselves or their spouse. Maybe their agenda was to get through the day without seeing Edward break down. Or maybe their agenda was something more sinister than that, something hidden deep down that was waiting to come out at the most inopportune time. It was a second entity clinging to their skin, camouflaged by acts of kindness. He couldn't be sure. The same people were in his life day after day, minus the two that he hoped to never see again, and yet he saw them all as strangers now.

His daughter was the only human he felt connected to, the only one too innocent to ever betray him. To her he clung with every breath he had left in his worn out body. Maggie was making great strides, and he was hopeful that she would be released soon. Since he'd vowed to never go back to the house that Ben had made himself at home in, he had no choice but to stay with his parents in the interim. It would be the most beneficial choice for Maggie, and he would swallow any and all discomfort if it was what was best for her. He needed to make plans for her physical therapy soon, but for now he just watched her heal with a smile on his face. She was the only light in his life.

Two weeks after the revelation of who was at fault for Maggie's disappearance, Rose went into labor. Edward wasn't planning on being there for the labor and delivery portion, but he'd always assumed he would visit with them as soon as the baby was born. Leaving Maggie wasn't an option, making him feel incredibly torn, but Bella stepped in and made a suggestion that changed everything.

"Why don't we ask the nurse if Maggie can ride in a wheelchair over to the maternity wing? Surely she would want to see her new cousin."

By the time they got permission and let the medical staff load her up, Maggie was exhausted but excited to see Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett's baby daughter. Esme was sweating but beaming proudly as she opened the door and ushered them into the room. She kissed Maggie's cheek as she thanked Bella and pushed her granddaughter over to the bed where Rose was sitting up with the baby in her arms. Esme rubbed hand sanitizer into Maggie's good hand as they talked about germs and the baby's health. Edward went over to the sink to wash up before standing with his brother on the opposite side of her bed from their mother and Maggie.

"Did you name her Bree?" he asked Emmett. It was the name at the top of their list, but they swore it would depend on how they felt when they saw her for the first time.

"We did. It's the perfect name for her." Emmett grinned so wide that Edward felt a pang of jealousy. He remembered the euphoria of Maggie's birth.

"Meet your cousin Bree," Rose was saying to Maggie. The wheelchair had been pushed up parallel to the bed so they could face each other.

"She's so tiny," Maggie said. She touched the back of Bree's hand with her fingertips.

"You were that small, too, Magpie." Esme was absolutely thrilled to see Maggie out of bed. "All babies are relatively small when they're born."

"And you borned her, Grandma?" Maggie asked with a wrinkled forehead.

Esme tried somewhat successfully not to laugh. "Actually, Aunt Rose borned her. I just helped."

"Because you're a baby doctor." Maggie grinned, inexplicably proud of her grandma.

"That's right." Esme winked at Rose as she laughed.

"I can't hold her like this," Maggie said sadly as she held up the arm covered in a cast.

Edward jumped in at the threat of tears. "I can help you, sweetie. You can cradle her in your good arm and let her rest in your lap. Okay, Rose?" He looked at his sister-in-law for permission and she nodded.

Edward had to take the baby first to facilitate the transfer, and he felt a rush of love for the tiny blonde girl. If ever there was proof of complete innocence, that was it right there. Her eyes were closed and her head was mostly covered in down, but it seemed that she took after her mother.

He blinked back tears as he kneeled in front of Maggie's wheelchair and rested the baby on her lap. His hands were hovering over the swaddled infant as Maggie looked down at her.

"Hi, baby. I'm your cousin."

Carlisle came into the room, and when Edward glanced up, he noticed that Bella was out in the hall. The door closed again, and Edward turned his attention back to Maggie and Bree.

"I got you the biggest one I could find, Rose."

Carlisle produced a cup of coffee, and Rose sighed in delight. "Thanks, Dad."

His father came to stand next to him, and Edward lifted Bree into his arms once more. He just barely touched the tip of her nose with his lips and handed her back to Rose. "Congratulations."

Rose gave him a sleepy smile. "Thanks."

He could see the way her countenance had changed. Her motivation was focused on her family now, and he hoped it would relieve her of the unrelenting guilt she'd been feeling.

"I told Bella she could come in and meet Bree, but she said she was just here to push Maggie's wheelchair back to her room when you were done," Carlisle said to no one in particular.

"Oh, nonsense, I'll bring her in." Esme went to the door and pulled it open, speaking quietly to Bella before both women came back in the room. Bella stayed near the door and waved before sticking her hands in her pockets.

"Grandpa, it was Bella's idea to bring me here. Isn't that cool?" Maggie looked happily at Carlisle, who smiled down at her.

"It's very cool."

Bella blushed and shifted her feet. She was uncomfortable with being so unreservedly accepted into the Cullen family's inner circle. She was still a stranger, basically, but they seemed to welcome her whenever she was around.

"It was smart of her to think of it," Esme said in Bella's direction.

"I figured it would make her happy, and that's an important part of healing," Bella said by way of deflection.

"Well, thanks, Bella, because I was wondering if Edward would come if Maggie couldn't." Emmett turned to his brother. "I would have been pretty devastated if you hadn't come to meet Bree."

It was Edward's turn to blush because that was almost what he had done. It wasn't that he would never have visited Rose and Emmett to meet the baby, he just wouldn't have done it until Maggie was released from the hospital and able to get around without assistance. He realized that it could have been a very long time, and he avoided his brother's gaze. It would have been a horrible type of selfishness not to celebrate his brother's firstborn when Emmett had been there for him through every high and every low.

Without a word, he pulled Emmett in for a hug and let himself be engulfed in his sibling's strength. Guilt, his familiar friend, reminded him that he wasn't worthy of the brother he'd been given.

"She's beautiful, Emmett, and I'm so happy for you," Edward said as he stepped out of Emmett's embrace.

The easy grin on Emmett's face proved that all he needed from him was his sincerity. "Thanks, brother. I'm happy you're here."

Edward was happy to be there, too, but it was a fleeting feeling. And as the temporary exhilaration passed, Edward was left drained and anxious. "Maggie, we should get you back to your room."

She didn't complain, proof that his suspicions were correct; she was tired. He unlocked the wheels on her chair and rolled her toward the door, stopping to let everyone say their goodbyes.

"We'll be there soon," Carlisle said as Edward let Bella take over with the wheelchair so he could hug his parents.

"Okay, Dad."

He wondered why they were going to come to Maggie's room when they had so much else going on. They'd seen her already, so why would they need to visit? Were they going to lecture him on something he'd done wrong? Were they going to try to insist he go home when he wasn't ready? Would they tell him he couldn't stay with them while he house hunted and Maggie healed?

These nagging thoughts consumed him so much that he didn't realize Bella was speaking to him. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I asked if you were doing okay after everything that happened." She only made eye contact briefly before looking back down at the top of Maggie's head.

"I guess the honest answer is not really."

"Have you given any more thought to my suggestion of therapy?"

He breathed in and out carefully, trying not to blow up at her. "I don't need someone to tell me I'm messed up, but thanks."

"That's really not their purpose. I can see that you're going through so much with anxiety and maybe depression, and it won't go away without working on it." She kept her voice gentle and non-accusatory, but when the elevator reached their floor, she could see by the look he gave her that she'd pushed too far.

As soon as Bella had Maggie out in the hallway, Edward took over pushing her chair and ignored Bella. Sighing, she followed along behind him to see them settled. She wasn't trained medically past CPR, but she had experience. Her mother had spent years practicing patient mobility on Bella, and she'd learned a thing or two about ambulation along the way. Once she had Maggie propped up with pillows under her pressure points and made sure she had ice water, she turned to Edward.

"Look, I know it's not my place, and I apologize that I apparently upset you. I can't help but want what's best for Maggie, and that includes her only parent being mentally healthy. I won't bring it up again, but please, actually think about what I said instead of dismissing it."

Edward stared after her as she left the room, then sank down in the chair next to Maggie, who was already drifting off to sleep. He kissed her temple and brushed her hair off her face. Since he was completely alone, he gave in to the overwhelming pressure that weighed down on him. He pressed his face into his hands and cried.

* * *

**The song that planted the seed is called Red Cold River by Breaking Benjamin. I had to change the ending; for one, the little girl didn't live. Two, the dad sold his soul to discover who did it, and he couldn't be with his daughter in heaven because he killed the perpetrator.**


	15. Chapter 14

**You guys are voracious for answers! Edward didn't know, so he couldn't tell you. Luckily, there are explanations in this chapter.**

* * *

The day he both dreaded and anticipated had arrived. Maggie was being discharged, and Edward would once again be responsible for her well-being. It terrified him. He was positive he didn't have what it took to be strong for her, to guide her in the right direction. He didn't know up from down, but he was supposed to teach her? The one good thing was that his parents had reiterated that he and Maggie were welcome to stay with them indefinitely. They understood that he would be too busy to look for a new house right away, and they knew he would need help with watching over Maggie and getting her to and from her appointments. He shouldn't have been so concerned about their talk after Bree's birth, but that was how his mind worked now. Always on the defensive.

Maggie couldn't walk unassisted, so Edward carried her from the wheelchair at the hospital entrance to his father's waiting car. She had an appointment in the morning for her first physical therapy session where they would give Edward pointers on how to assist her in mobility as well as giving Maggie a lightweight wheelchair while she worked on regaining her strength and waiting for her hip to mend. Edward was planning to go back to work after that, at least for a few hours. The business was stranded with Emmett home with Rose and Ben in jail. Edward would need to train Makenna on the front desk a few hours every day and try to catch up on everything that had fallen to the wayside.

He'd managed to bathe Maggie after dinner and get her into bed without any injury or water on her cast. As he tucked her into bed he thought that maybe, just maybe, he could finally take a deep breath. She was safe; she was in the same house as him, and they were going to be okay. He headed down the stairs to find his father, discovering him at his desk in the office.

"Dad?"

Carlisle looked up as Edward paused in the doorway. "Yeah?"

He couldn't seem to form the words. He cleared his throat and shifted his feet. "Well, I just wanted to tell you, you know, to say thanks."

Carlisle rose from his seat and crossed the room to his son. "You've already thanked me, many times."

Tears pricked his eyelids as he looked into his father's compassionate face. Carlisle was constant, steady, dependable. Edward was grateful that he had such a wonderful man on his side. "Yeah, I know. It's more than that. I don't really have words, I guess."

Carlisle didn't need words. He pulled Edward into a hug and they simply stayed there while the clock on the shelf ticked off the passing seconds. When he did step back, Edward wiped at his face.

"Do you need help tomorrow? I can drive the two of you to the appointment. Don't forget, I agreed to babysit Maggie tomorrow while you go to work."

"I'd like that."

"Why don't you get some sleep?"

Edward glanced at the clock and didn't even grimace at the early hour. Sleep would be a blessing. "Okay."

His night was blissfully free of nightmares, leaving him feeling refreshed when he woke up the next morning. He could almost feel normalcy creeping up on him once again and it put him in a good mood. He was humming a tune when he woke Maggie.

"Margaret May," he sang. He sat on the edge of the bed and tickled her sides until she was squirming and laughing at him.

"Daddy, stop!" she squealed.

"Only if you give me my hug!"

Maggie shifted, needing his assistance until she sat a little crooked on her good hip. She threw her arms around his neck and squeezed him tightly.

"Much better."

He picked her up and carried her to the bathroom before they made their way to the kitchen. Esme was already gone for the day but Carlisle was there making pancakes. They had a loud meal together as Maggie talked nonstop to Carlisle about what she hoped would happen in physical therapy. Edward was smiling hugely by the time he took her upstairs to get her dressed.

It was a slight struggle to remove her hip brace and get her dressed over her arm cast without hurting her, but they managed. He got her strapped back in without too much wincing on her part, though he ground his teeth to keep the curses inside. He hated that he was hurting her, even if he couldn't help it.

Carlisle drove them to the medical center and stayed in the front waiting room while Edward went to the pediatric therapy offices at the back. He signed in one-handed while holding Maggie on his opposite side, thinking about how much he was looking forward to bringing her new wheelchair home.

The appointment went well, and Maggie and Edward both liked the therapist assigned to her. She would go three times a week for the time being, and Edward had a list of exercises he had to do with Maggie at home. He was able to wheel her out to Carlisle, and she chattered the whole way.

"Daddy, do you think Grandpa will like my wheelchair?"

"Yes, I do."

"It's neat, isn't it, Daddy? I like it."

Carlisle was standing near the doors as they approached and he let Maggie lean over and push the big square button to open them automatically. She giggled when he swept his arm out in a grand gesture. Edward felt the smaller fissures in his heart stitch back together as his daughter laughed freely at her grandpa's antics.

Carlisle dropped him off at the shop, and the anxiety came rushing back. Maggie would be apart from him for hours. He had to trust her well-being to someone else. He knew Carlisle would never harm her, but he'd thought the same thing about Ben once upon a time. What little Maggie had told him of what she remembered of that day came flooding back to him.

"_I only went outside because Aunt Rose was busy on the phone and I couldn't ask her to take me to watch the squirrels. I could see them through the window running after each other and being silly. I only meant to be out there for a minute."_

"_How did you end up in Uncle Ben's truck?"_

_She'd shrugged. "I don't remember, but I woke up for a minute while he was driving. I watched the sky and fell back asleep."_

Edward's cell phone rang as he was flipping on the lights, snapping him out of the rage-inducing memory.

"Yeah?"

"Cullen, it's Sergeant Whitlock."

"How's it going?" Edward booted up the computer and watched the circle spin on the monitor.

"I want you to know that Cheney was granted bail at his hearing and posted same an hour ago. If you see him, you need to turn around and walk in the other direction. If he attempts to speak to you, do not engage with him. I don't want to have to arrest you."

The rushing sound was back in his head. He put his phone on speaker and laid it down, resting his head in his hands and his elbows on the counter. "Why?"

"Why, what?" Jasper responded.

"Why was he allowed to walk free?"

"He isn't free. He has to attend his court hearings, and he's not allowed to leave Forks. He wanted it to be expanded to Clallam County, but the way he acted after the crime weighed against him. He was granted bail because he's a pillar of the community and not considered a flight risk."

Edward couldn't help think that the only reason Ben was a 'pillar of the community' was because of his association with the Cullens. "He better stay away from me, my family, and the shop, Jasper."

"I understand. You can call me if he comes there, but unless he makes a nuisance of himself, you don't have any reason for a restraining order." Jasper sighed. "Would you be able to come to the station this afternoon? I have his official statement, and I know you're interested in what happened."

Edward's temples were throbbing as he stared at a chip in the Formica. "I might be able to. My dad has Maggie and I'm working for a few hours. I don't have my car, though."

"Tell you what, I'll come down to the shop at four. Does that work for you?"

Edward straightened and picked up his cell, looking at the time. "Yeah, that'll be fine."

"Okay, I'll see you then. Remember what I said."

Edward ended the call and stared out the bank of windows along the front of his shop. A compact car in a bold blue pulled up and he watched a petite girl with jet black hair jump out. She was wearing jeans and a hooded sweatshirt under an unzipped coat. She hesitated outside the door and smoothed her hair down before pulling it open.

"Makenna?" he asked.

She offered him a bright smile and a nod. "Mr. Cullen?"

He gestured for her to join him behind the counter. "Please call me Edward. Rose said you're familiar with our website, but I'm going to show you how to handle it behind the scenes. You'll answer the phone and use our scheduling software to mark down the names of the clients and what they're requesting, as well as the timeline you've quoted them. I have a timeline cheat sheet here." He set the piece of paper on the counter.

"Okay. You're going to show me the website today?" She looked up at him as she spoke. She was much shorter than him, and clearly young. He felt old next to her.

"You're sticking around for two hours, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then we'll spend as much time as you need on that before moving on."

They got started on Makenna's training, and Edward was happy to find that she learned quickly. She wouldn't need to do too much to the website while Rose was out on leave, but there were some things that he liked to make sure were kept up-to-date. When he noticed a car come into the lot, he almost didn't pay attention to it. People were coming by with gifts even then, but it wasn't a stranger with a box of donuts that stepped out of the driver side.

It was Ben.

"Makenna, I need you to step into the office and close the door. Call the number on this business card and tell Whitlock that Ben Cheney is on my property." When she stared blankly at him, he opened the door to the private office and gave her shoulder a nudge. "Go now, Makenna. Make the call."

He noticed as Ben came closer that he was sporting a healing cut over one eyebrow and some sort of bandage over his nose. Edward began contemplating a weapons permit as the traitorous bastard opened the shop door. "I have to give you credit, Ben; it takes a lot of balls to show your face here."

Ben stopped just inside the door. "I need to talk to you."

"I have nothing to say."

"Then just listen. I need your help."

Edward laughed in complete disbelief. "You _are_ joking, aren't you?"

He held his hands up in supplication. "I'm not. Look, it was an accident. I need you to tell the cops it was an accident. I can't go to prison."

"You can and you should. It's time for you to leave."

"Angela's pregnant. I need to be with her and the baby." His tone turned wheedling, and Edward hated him all the more. "You can convince the district attorney to give me probation."

"I'm sorry to hear that your wife will raise a baby alone, but that's exactly what you deserve. You deserve to be separated from your child, to know what it feels like. Of course, it's not the same since you'll know where your child is. You won't wonder if she's dead only to find out your best friend knew she was in a fucking well the whole time because he put her there."

Ben flinched at the venom in Edward's voice. "I panicked."

"And then?"

Ben frowned. "What do you mean?"

"So you panicked. And then what? What's your excuse for the days and nights that you let me suffer? What's your excuse for leaving her out there to _rot_? For helping us look when you were the one person who knew exactly where the fuck she was!" Impatient with it all, Edward shook his head. "Get the fuck out, or I'll physically throw you out."

"You have to help me! You've already cost me my job, the least you can do is let me be there for Angela!" Ben advanced toward the counter, the only thing separating him from his oldest friend.

Edward was fed up. "Were you always this psychotic and I just never realized it? Get the fuck out!" he roared.

He didn't get out. He launched himself around the end of the counter and charged at Edward. "I owe you a broken nose, asshole!"

Edward heard Makenna let out a short scream. She had the office door open a crack and was recording the scene with her cell phone. Just as Ben got close enough, Edward remembered to plant his feet and brace himself. They went stumbling a few steps but didn't fall when they collided. Edward was the first one to throw a punch, and a familiar red wash came over his vision as he pounded into Ben.

"All right, stop!"

He registered the voice of the sergeant, but it wasn't until strong arms wrapped around his chest and hauled him up that he quit swinging.

"I know we agreed to meet here, but this wasn't what I had in mind," Jasper said to Edward. He looked at a bloody Ben sprawled out on the floor. "You should have learned your lesson the last time he kicked your ass."

Makenna opened the door all the way. "I have it on video, officer. That guy started it." She pointed at Ben and held her phone out to Jasper.

"It's sergeant, and thanks for this."

He set her phone on the counter and kept one hand on Edward's shoulder as an officer began the process of arresting Ben.

"I told him to leave. I made her hide and call you, and I told him more than once to leave. He charged me," Edward ranted. He watched Ben being led out to a patrol car, blue and red lights revolving. Ben shot him a look of pure hatred before he was helped into the vehicle.

Edward gulped in air, flexing barely healed knuckles that had split open yet again. He realized he was crying and turned away from Makenna. "He wanted my help. Can you believe that?"

Jasper stood quietly and let Edward get it out of his system.

"Said that it was an accident and that if I would just tell everyone that, he could get probation and stay out of prison. It's my fault, apparently, that his life has gone to shit." He wiped his palms over his face, frustrated that everything suddenly made him cry.

"It began as an accident, and then it morphed into malicious intent. He backed his work truck into her, Edward, and knocked her out. Her head wound came from the bumper. He thought she was dead because she was unconscious and her temple was bleeding so much."

"Head wounds bleed more," Edward murmured. His stomach churned. Ben thought he'd killed Maggie. Edward thanked God all the time that she'd lived.

"He panicked and drove around looking for a place to hide her body. He was never planning on telling anyone what he'd done." Jasper glanced at Makenna. "Pull up the video for me, yeah?"

She did as he asked and handed the phone back over. Edward didn't watch, but he listened to the words. He heard the betrayal and hurt in his voice and the pleading bullshit in Ben's. He heard the scuffle and the sickening sound of flesh ramming into flesh as he beat the shit out of Ben.

"Well, his bail has been revoked for his conduct. He'll stay in county lockup until his trial is over and he's been sentenced." Jasper pinched the bridge of his nose. "I wish I had some clever words for you, but I don't."

"I don't think anyone does. There's no way to make sense of this."

"No, I don't think there is."

Edward stared out the window as the wind whipped through the barren trees. He couldn't come to grips with why Ben would do what he'd done and, even worse, why he thought Edward was to blame for the consequences to his actions. He struggled to picture the years he'd been friends with Ben and how he'd missed the signs of a man with deep mental deficiencies. He didn't blame himself for Ben's actions, but he sure as hell blamed himself for overlooking the type of man Ben truly was deep inside.


	16. Chapter 15

Edward knew it was wrong even as he did it. He left the house, left his Maggie, and drove to the bar downtown. There was a never-ending buzz in his ears and a weight on his chest. He needed to feel numb again, and he wouldn't find that at home. He sat at the bar and ordered a drink, doing his best to call up the blankness he'd utilized after they'd found Maggie. He'd known how to stuff the overwhelming anger and sadness down deep then, and he yearned for that to come back to him.

The burn slid down his throat with the drink, settling in his gut. He ordered another, stared at the wall of bottles and tuned out the noise around him. The cacophony drifted away until nasty thoughts consumed his brain. He had known Ben for most of his life. He'd been his friend, his companion, his confidant. They'd shared so much of life's ups and downs. Edward didn't think Ben had actual, diagnosable mental health issues before October. He had no idea if that was something that could manifest in the middle of committing a crime, but he sincerely doubted it could be the case.

More alcohol would wash away the bitterness of betrayal. He gave it a try, not minding the odd look from the bartender as he slurred his request. He had to escape from reality somehow. It used to be he didn't enjoy the taste of anything other than the occasional beer, but now he slammed back shot after shot in a good imitation of an alcoholic.

"Hey, buddy, let me call you a cab."

Edward attempted to focus on the face in front of him. It wavered, split into two, then rearranged itself back into a solid form. "No thanks. I gotta car."

"No way I'm letting you drive home."

Edward just smiled as he tipped back the glass in front of him. Nothing came out, so he shook it over his open mouth.

"You've been cut off," the two-headed man said.

Edward snorted. "I can drink at home," he sneered. But when he tried to get up his legs wouldn't support him. He sank to the floor, bewildered.

"Look," the bartender said as he came around the bar to help Edward up. "I've seen your face on the news. I know who you are. I can help you get home."

"Home," Edward slurred, "is not my home anymore."

"What?" He squatted to help Edward up and back on the stool.

"Mommy and Daddy to the rescue," he said in a sing-song voice.

"You're staying with your parents? Dr. Cullen is your mother?"

"Yep." Edward nodded so vigorously he thought his head would bobble right off his shoulders.

The man sighed. "Don't move. I'm calling a cab."

Edward slumped forward until his forehead rested on the bar. Thoughts rotated through his brain, but most were too fleeting to make sense. There was one though; one that stuck. Ben needed to die. Edward needed to kill him. Maggie would be fine with his mom and dad.

"She'll be fine," he said as he picked up his head. The room spun around him.

"She sure will," the man replied.

**HoS**

Edward woke to an earthquake and sunlight streaming into his eyes. He groaned and rolled over.

"Mornin', buttercup."

"Go away," Edward moaned.

"No can do. Get your ass up."

He rolled to his back as the mattress shook underneath him. The light scalded his eyeballs when he tried to focus on his cheerful brother. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Somebody left their car at the bar last night because they thought it would be fun to get drunk. So we're going to go get it. And then I'm going to strangle you," Emmett said in good humor, sitting on the edge of the bed and bouncing up and down.

Edward groaned another time. "Keep that up and I'll puke on you."

Emmett laughed. "Come on, I made coffee. Mom is at work already, and Dad went to the grocery store with Maggie. Get your sorry ass up."

Maggie. Edward could be glad she wasn't home to see him, but he'd failed as a parent. He only thought of the pain last night and how to drown it, not of the daughter that needed him. He pushed at Emmett until he got off the bed and went into the bathroom. He took a cold shower to wake himself up and joined Emmett downstairs after getting dressed. He tried to ignore the multitude of twinkling lights and garlands.

"I'm not even looking forward to Christmas this year," Edward announced when he entered the kitchen.

"You're a dumbass, you know that?" Emmett responded.

Edward frowned. Yes, he already knew that. "Why this time?"

Emmett handed his brother a cup of coffee. "Your daughter is alive. She's healing. She's happy and not traumatized. Enjoy the damn holiday."

He took a sip and thought about it. "Ben—"

"Is a disgusting piece of shit. Don't let him run your life."

"He isn't running my life," Edward protested.

"No? Then what was last night?" Emmett crossed his ankles and leaned against the counter.

"I wanted to forget." Edward looked down into the black liquid in his cup. "I can't keep going in circles over what I missed."

"We all missed it. That's how crazy people work, brother."

The ache and throb was there in his chest, the stone in his gut. He hated feeling helpless. He wanted to fix it but he didn't know how. "I want him dead, Emmett. I've wanted it since I thought it was a random stranger looking to harm her on purpose. I still want it even though it was my best friend. He doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as Maggie."

"He's not. He's breathing the same air as Bubba the axe murderer." Emmett closed the distance between them and put an arm around Edward. "He's not walking away from this. Put him out of your mind."

That was his greatest wish, but he didn't know how to make it happen.

He and Emmett went to the bar. They separated after Edward got his car; Emmett back to his wife and baby, and Edward to the shop. He'd missed seeing Maggie and wondered not for the first time if she was better off with his parents instead of him.

The blue compact car was in the lot, and he glanced at the clock. He was a few minutes later than he'd told Makenna he would arrive. She got out of her car when he pulled in, and they entered the shop together. Makenna stood near the door while Edward went around turning on the lights and the computer.

"Mr. Cullen, is everything okay now?"

He froze and looked up. "What do you mean?"

"The man from yesterday isn't going to get out of jail and come back, is he?" She twisted the toe of one shoe on the floor and wouldn't look him in the eyes.

He squeezed his fists until his damaged knuckles protested. "Are you asking me if I'm going to get into any other fights?"

"I just want to know if this is a safe place to work since there have been a few incidents now."

"One of those incidents being my young daughter wandering out of the shop and subsequently being hit by a vehicle. Are you planning on walking out into traffic, Makenna?"

She whipped her head up, her black ponytail flying behind her. "Of course not."

"Then there's nothing to worry about. Mr. Cheney is in jail to stay and I'm not violent by nature." Seeking to prove his own point, he relaxed his fists and place his hands flat on the counter. "Are you ready to get started?"

He ran Makenna through what he'd taught her the day before. She remembered everything, so he moved on to scheduling and professionalism. No cars came into the lot, the phone did not ring, and Edward wondered if he could salvage what was once a thriving business.

He went home to Maggie at the end of the day. He'd missed her, and he felt like shit after the amount of alcohol he'd had the night before. He popped a few aspirin before tracking down his dad and daughter in the kitchen.

"Magpie!"

Her face lit up as she turned to look at him. "Daddy!"

Edward went to her side and kneeled by the wheelchair to hug her. He didn't let go until she squirmed and giggled.

"Are you helping Grandpa make dinner?" He stood to his full height and glanced at Carlisle.

"I gave her a bowl to stir. She did great."

Maggie grinned. "I didn't spill or anything!"

"Good job, sweetie." Edward sat at the table, watched his dad work at the stove. The what-ifs wouldn't leave him. What if he did something terrible? Who would keep Maggie? His parents would. What if he actually could get to Ben somehow? Did he have it in him to bring him lasting harm? He told Makenna he wasn't violent by nature, and that used to be true. Now he didn't know. He didn't know anything.

"Edward?"

He looked up. "Yeah?"

"I've asked you the same question twice now. You all right?"

"Uh, sure. I guess I was daydreaming."

Carlisle frowned. "Could you set the table, please? Esme will be home soon and this is almost ready."

"Absolutely."

Edward kissed Maggie on the head as he walked around her chair to get to the cupboard with the dishes. He couldn't keep his mind from wandering, from going down the rabbit hole. He could be the Mad Hatter for all the insanity running through his head. He wanted to go, to run, to leave his family to learn to love without him. He attracted disaster and death. He was no good.

His phone rang, and the sound drew his attention from the stack of plates he set on the table. He strode to the front hall and plucked his phone from the spot where he'd left it.

"Hello?"

"It's Jasper."

Edward sighed, thinking he couldn't deal with any more bad news. "What can I do for you?"

"Alice is having a New Year's Eve party and wanted me to invite you. I told her I would, and I figure you deserve something good for a change. What do you say?"

His shoulders dropped as he relaxed. "Um," he began. Did he want to socialize? No, he didn't.

"Alice said she misses Maggie and it would be great if you brought her along. Any of your family, really. Just make certain you have a DD because we like to go a little deep on holidays."

Edward almost chuckled at Jasper's description of getting drunk. That was something he could get on board with. "If Rose wants to come, she'll be the designated driver by default."

Jasper did chuckle, and Edward fought a smile. "I guess having a newborn can do that to you. So, can I put you on the list?"

"Yeah, why not? If you need a headcount, I'll have to ask around and get back to you." Edward paced the foyer and glanced toward the kitchen at the sound of Maggie squealing.

"Nah, it's not that formal. I'll text you the address. Just come as you are."

"Sure thing."

They hung up, and Edward stopped pacing to stare out one of the windows that flanked the front door. Maggie had saved his life after Beth died. She gave him a reason to live, someone to care for outside of himself and his misery. Did it follow that he could save her life by walking away? If he closed himself off and hardened what was left of his heart, he would be no good for her. He simply couldn't withstand the myriad emotions that weighed him down for much longer. There had to be a solution, but he didn't know what it was.

"Edward, dinner is ready!"

He stared at the barren trees that lined the road. Break down or shut down? Stay or go?

* * *

**I know you're eager to have Bella around more, and you're in luck. She's going to be at the party.**


	17. Chapter 16

Christmas didn't bring Edward pleasure. He enjoyed watching Maggie with her presents and their family, but he felt hollow. Beth's parents sent gifts as they always did, with a note that they were coming to visit in January. Carlisle had been the one to call them when Maggie went missing, but they hadn't found it in their hearts to come sooner. Edward figured it was for the best; he couldn't stand them, and vice versa.

Emmett, Rose, and Bree came to the house. Edward could at least be happy for them, but that was the extent of any good emotions. The baby was beautiful, as he knew she would be, and Maggie got a kick out of her. Edward found peace when he held her, but it couldn't last forever. Once Bree was asleep in the portable crib his parents kept in Emmett's old room, they gathered for dinner. It should be a jovial time. Instead, he had to force a smile when all he felt like doing was screaming. The effort it took to pretend left him exhausted.

Maggie's physical therapy ended up on hiatus the week of Christmas, though they made an effort to keep her from going too many days between appointments. The hip brace came off, but her gait remained unsteady. Someone had to help her at all times if she wanted to get out of her wheelchair. She didn't let that stop her.

The day of the Whitlock's party came around; Esme and Carlisle were staying at home to watch Bree and Maggie. Edward no longer worried about how well Maggie was taken care of unless he was the one in charge. He knew he didn't deserve his daughter anymore. When he got in the car with his brother and sister-in-law, he could finally breathe. No one expected anything of him and, therefore, he couldn't let anyone down.

The Whitlock home was much the same as other modest houses in the area; two-story and boxy. It had yellow paint that managed to bring sunshine to the dreary weather, and a red door. Alice answered their knock with a grin on her face and a headband of wobbling antenna.

"Hi guys! Come on in."

They stood in the foyer and looked around. Edward spoke up, since he was technically the only one that knew Alice. "This is my brother, Emmett, and his wife, Rose. This is Alice, Maggie's teacher and Sergeant Whitlock's wife."

They all murmured hello and Edward breathed a sigh of relief as a little blond boy ran into the room and stole Alice's attention.

"Aw, I thought it was Grandma and Grandpa!" he wailed.

"Tyler, I told you ten more minutes. Why don't you go make sure you have all your buddies packed in your bag?"

"I already did that!" He glowered up at Alice.

"Then do it again." She watched him stomp up the stairs and turned back to the threesome. "Sorry about that. My parents are delayed in coming to get him and he's anxious."

"It's fine," Rose replied. She peeled her coat off and draped it over her arm.

"Oh, coats," Alice said. "You can leave them in the closet." She opened a door to reveal empty hangers waiting. "I have various party attire on the table here if you're interested."

Emmett guffawed when Rose gave him a pair of plastic heart-shaped glasses. He modeled them for her, and Edward turned away at the following display of affection. He went in search of the alcohol and found it in the kitchen with Jasper, who was pouring something for himself.

"Hello, Edward."

"Hey, Jasper."

"It's early yet, but we're expecting more people. Can I get you a drink?" He held up a bottle of wine.

"Yes, but not wine." Edward tucked his hands in his front pockets.

Jasper tilted bottles as he looked at the labels. "Okay, um . . . scotch? Tequila? Beer?"

"Just a beer is fine." He accepted the can Jasper handed over, noting the red _R_ on the logo. "Local?"

"Yeah." Jasper took a sip of his drink and leaned against the counter. "How are things?"

Edward shrugged. He didn't actually want to talk to anybody, but he put on his friendly mask anyway. "Fine, I guess. I'm glad Christmas is over."

"I'm glad the shopping and spending money is over. Maggie's getting better, yeah?"

Edward looked at the floor when he responded. "She's great."

"And you?"

How could he explain the clawing, the itching, the monster that grew in his gut and demanded retribution? There were no words to describe the hate that consumed him. The pale peach walls closed in around him until he had to get outside, to try to breathe.

He walked out abruptly, shoving open the back door and leaving Jasper standing there. He gulped in air, bent over and ran the cold can over his forehead. He inhaled, letting the bitter wind scrape his throat and prick his lungs. Anything was better than the blood boiling through his veins.

A noise behind him caused him to spin, coming face to face with Bella. It felt like forever since he'd seen her. He stared at her, wondering what evil reflected back at her from his face.

"Edward," she said in greeting. "I saw Rose and Emmett in the living room, but they didn't know where you'd gone."

"You found me," he said in a voice gone hoarse.

"I like the chill in the air sometimes. It feels good after being closed in with so many people."

Her gaze never wavered; it remained steady on his face as Edward sweated in the freezing temperatures. He quaked, his body's reaction to the panic attack that began to ebb, and took more deep breaths. "Why?" One of her brows quirked up, and he hurried to explain. "Why are you out here with me instead of enjoying the party?"

"I already told you why."

He shook his head. "You made up a reason." His voice vibrated along with his muscles. "I don't believe you."

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but I do _not_ prevaricate. Speaking of which, you look like shit. We should go in so you can sit down and warm up."

With a grunt he walked past her into the house. He opened the beer he held and drank deeply, fishing out a new one from the cooler on the counter. He opened it and drank, hearing Bella come in behind him. She kept going into the front part of the house. If he'd been capable of guilt, he might have dredged some up for the way he acted, but too late.

He brought his beer when he joined the others. There were plenty of people he recognized and a few he didn't. He sat in the corner of the room, near to those talking but not right next to anyone. He shivered, belatedly realizing he'd spent too long outside. The men nearest him spoke of a remodel one was doing, and Edward decided to pretend he'd come to be social. They spoke at length about the type of wood and the materials for the kitchen cabinets. Edward hated the man for doing it himself but kept quiet.

As people shifted, lingered, moved on, and came back, Edward remained solidly rooted to his chair. It left him alone more often than not, and he enjoyed the solitude when he had the chance. The murmur of voices tended to be low with an occasional bout of laughter. Midnight drew nearer, and he watched Rose and Emmett become closer friends with Jasper and Alice. He got up when his drink was empty, bringing more than one when he returned and tucking them next to his hip so they couldn't be easily seen.

After some time, Bella sat beside him. Her scent was subtle, but he recognized it without looking up. "I'm leaving."

She angled her body so she faced him. "It's not midnight yet. Don't you want to ring in the new year?"

"No, I mean . . . I'm getting the hell out of Forks." He leaned back, closing his eyes.

"Where will you go?"

"Any-fucking-where." He paused while his brain turned over the ideas he'd kept to himself. "I have nothing left. Business is going down in flames, friends are even worse. No one needs me."

"No one?" she said sharply. He opened his eyes and tried to focus on her. "Maggie needs you. Your parents need you; _Emmett_ needs you."

Edward waved a hand to negate her words. "_Pfft_."

"You can't be serious with this shit, Edward. Tell me it's the alcohol talking."

Her hair was up, he noticed. Some kind of braided thing. He prefered it down. "Nope. It's been festering for a long while now."

"It's the stupidest idea I've ever heard." Bella leaned toward him, her forearms on her knees. "You can't leave town without your daughter."

"Look," he mumbled. He cleared his throat and tried for a more authoritative tone. "Look. It would be for the best if they started over without me."

"No." Her glare deepened. "Hey," she snapped her fingers when his eyes drifted closed. "Not only are you cut off, but we are going to have a serious talk about this when you're sober."

"Don't wanna."

"Unbelievable," she said. "You need to go to therapy, as I've mentioned more than once. You need to remember that _you_ are what your daughter needs, even when you're fucked up. More, she needs you healed so she can heal."

His laugh sounded bitter. Someone turned their way and then back. "Maggie needs me to go far away where I can't hurt her anymore."

She stood. "Fucking _coward_."

Now she had his attention. "The fuck does that mean?"

"Just that." Bella walked off, leaving Edward with the distinct impression that he'd disappointed her.

"What the hell was that, brother?"

Edward craned his neck to look up at Emmett. "I drank a little too much, said a few things."

"You need to get that shit under control. It's not cool."

He knew things were bad if he'd pissed Emmett off. "I won't have any more, okay?"

Emmett watched him for another few seconds before leaving him to stand with Rose. Someone turned the television on to hear the hyping of the countdown.

Edward wanted a stiff drink, but he went to the kitchen for a bottle of water instead. He didn't need to see all the couples kissing at midnight. He felt a stir of nausea and tamped it down. Water would help.

He'd finished off the bottle when Bella came in. He watched her warily, thinking she would lay into him again. He didn't appreciate being called a coward for trying to do what he thought was right. The other party goers could be heard shouting in the background as Bella came to a stop in front of him.

"5!"

"I apologize," she said.

"4!"

"No, I do," he said.

"3!"

She shook her head but said nothing else.

"2!"

He picked up a second bottle of water and waited for something to happen.

"1! Happy New Year!" Paper horns could be heard blaring above the shouts.

Edward and Bella stared at each other with a foot between them, not speaking. She took her purse off the kitchen counter near his elbow and headed to the doorway. Inexplicably, he felt the sting of tears.

"Happy New Year, Edward," she said before she disappeared.

He stood there until Rose came into the room. "Are you okay?"

He blinked. "Yes."

Her brows went up. "It doesn't look like it."

"Beer," he said in explanation.

"Oh, so you're drunk. Ready to go sleep it off?"

"Definitely."

He followed Rose to the foyer, spotting Alice and Bella talking quietly. The latter slipped out the door and the former turned to her guests.

"Thank you for coming!" She held her arms out and Rose hugged her. Edward nodded and said goodbye before going out into the dark yard.

He saw Bella's car stop and the back lights change from white to red. She drove away as he stood there like an idiot. The hole in his chest widened, enveloping him. He really needed to go home, to sleep off whatever the hell just happened.

"Edward?"

"Yeah, Emmett?"

"Let's go."

He climbed in the back of Rose's car and looked out the window the entire way back to his parents' house. Instead of an excuse to get drunk, the party had only served to unsettle him.

* * *

**Thoughts about Bella?**


	18. Chapter 17

**Most of you like Bella's straightforward attitude, though some of you are less enthusiastic. Looks like you'll have the chance to get to know her more in this chapter.**

* * *

Edward drove to his brother's house. Carlisle had taken Maggie to spend her Christmas money, and Edward was on edge sitting around waiting for the Stevensons to grace them all with their presence the next day. He'd always hated them, and that had only built in the years since Beth died. They blamed Edward for Beth's death, as though he'd done anything but drive her home from a dinner date. They rarely saw Maggie, but had no problem telling him he was a shitty father. There was nothing but fighting and misery when they visited.

So, needless to say, no one was looking forward to them actually coming. Edward was pissed they hadn't been invested enough in their granddaughter's well-being to come when she was missing. His own parents had set their lives aside to do everything, to be there every second and give what they had to help. To him, that was a given when family was involved. That had been Beth's way; clearly, she didn't inherit it from her parents.

Edward was a little surprised to see two cars in the driveway when he pulled up. Emmett just told him to come over and not wallow at home alone. He didn't say that he was having people over, something Edward wasn't in a state of mind to deal with these days. He didn't bother with knocking or ringing the doorbell; the Cullen family had an open door policy, especially when they were expecting someone. What greeted him when he walked in shocked him further: feminine laughter from the direction of the living room. He immediately recognized Bella's laugh, and he blushed. It was deep, smoky, as if she needed to clear her throat. He paused in the entryway and almost turned back around, but Emmett came down the stairs with Bree in his arms and Edward knew he couldn't bail after he'd been caught standing there.

"Edward!" Emmett came at him with one arm extended, hugging him from the side.

"Hey, Emmett." Bree looked up at her uncle when he responded, so he spoke to her next. "And hello, Princess Bree."

"I was just changing her and bringing her back to Rose. Come on, everyone's in the living room."

Edward followed his brother with reluctance. He didn't want to see anyone after his conversation with Bella at the Whitlock's party. He was surprised Bella hadn't told them all what he was planning. He hadn't had the balls to tell anyone else, but he'd expected her to alert them all that he was crazy.

The other voice he'd heard when he arrived belonged to Alice. She and Bella sat on the couch while Rose sat on the loveseat. Edward wasn't surprised when Emmett went to sit with his wife, leaving him to sit alone in one of the armchairs.

"That's much better, isn't it, baby girl?" Rose cooed at Bree as she took her from Emmett. She received a waving of the arms and nothing else. "Edward, when is she going to start smiling?"

"What?" He wasn't really paying attention, and he was surprised to hear his name.

"What month is it that babies smile for real? Three?"

He shifted in his seat when four pairs of eyes landed on him. "No, she'll give you smiles that are supposedly a reflex now. Then she'll give you a genuine smile at about six weeks or so. Sometimes it's later than that though."

"See?" Rose said to Emmett. "I told you that smile she gave you was relief from getting out that gas."

"You're just jealous she smiled at me and not you," Emmett retorted.

Rose snorted. "You're just proud that your daughter makes so much noise when she farts."

"This is true."

"So, Edward," Alice said after a few moments of everyone staring at the baby. "I hear your in-laws are coming tomorrow."

"If you can still call them that. Yes, they are."

"You can call them Maggie's grandparents," Bella suggested. "They aren't related to you anymore, just her."

He waited for the sting to come after the reminder of Beth's death, but nothing happened. "I think that's more appropriate. Though they don't even acknowledge her as much as grandparents should."

"Yeah, Jasper said they didn't even come to Washington. He had them on his list to question, expecting them to show up. Instead, he had to call them."

"I didn't even know he had," Edward said to Alice.

"I heard that Carlisle informed them of her disappearance," Alice said with a shake of her head. "I doubt you want to know what sort of things they had to say to Jasper about the case."

"I wouldn't even be surprised at this point, Alice. They still blame me for Beth's death, and we were hit by a drunk driver. There was nothing I could have done."

"And I bet they told Jasper to look at you as a suspect, didn't they?" Rose said bitterly. She had never been fond of them either after the way they distanced themselves from her best friend for her choice in husband. Added to that was the fact that she and Edward were practically siblings, and that equaled her hatred of them.

Edward grimaced. "Probably."

"So why are they coming now?" Emmett asked. "Now that she's doing so well and only has another month of therapy? To pretend to be magnanimous and shower her with fake love and attention she doesn't want?"

"So they can pretend they care?" Edward suggested. "Because someone pointed out how awful it looks to not have come sooner? Because Maggie's case has made national news?"

"They don't sound very empathetic," Bella murmured.

"No." Edward sat forward. "They never have been. They didn't want Beth to marry me because I didn't mooch off my parents. They wanted her set for life with a rich husband, no matter how she felt."

"That's cold," Bella said.

Edward barely noticed when Alice got up. "Very. And then they moved away just before we married in the hopes of forcing her to come along. It didn't work. She moved in with me and we married without her parents attending."

"Is that how it always was, then? They weren't part of her life or yours after that?" Bella asked.

"Exactly." Edward leaned back again and realized they were alone. He hadn't seen the others leave.

Bella leaned forward until she was directly in Edward's line of sight. "So they don't care about Maggie very much, then, do they?"

"They send the obligatory birthday and Christmas cards, but that's it. Maggie doesn't care for them very much, either," he said with humor.

"She's a smart kid."

"She is."

"Does she remember Beth?"

Edward sat silently for a few long moments as he thought of his answer. He expected to feel pain, as he thought he would when they began the discussion, but he found nothing but an empty blankness. "She has a photo album on her nightstand that we look at all the time. In the early years, I feared there would be no way Maggie could remember Beth as she'd known her. She was so young, there would be no sense memories, you know?"

Bella nodded, her chin in her hand as she rested her elbow on her knee.

"I could still smell Beth's perfume, hear her laugh, and feel her hand in mine. All I could give Maggie was one-dimensional paper. So I held the pictures up for her and talked about her mom. I told her stories about us in place of fairy tales at bedtime. How we met at school, how hard Beth and I worked for our first house. How much Beth loved life. She and Rose were very close, so it was hard for more than just me. We all talked about Beth as if she was on an extended trip in order to keep her in Maggie's life."

"And does she ask about her now? Does she know how much Beth loved her?" Bella asked with genuine interest.

"I believe Maggie missed her mother most at important times in her life. When she had a birthday and there was no mom. When Mother's Day rolls around and we celebrate Esme instead of Beth. We go to the cemetery and talk to her, but it's not the same, of course. The most painful goodbyes are the ones never said out loud. Maggie was too young to say goodbye to her mother." When Edward finished talking, he crossed his arms over his chest. He hadn't meant to say so much about Beth, but he found Bella so easy to talk with.

"You've had to work hard to be both parents at once," Bella said with tears in her eyes. "Trying to be everything for everybody is bound to sap your strength, eventually."

He looked away from her show of emotion. "Maybe it has."

"And now that you're so tired, so beat down, and trying so hard to recover from what happened, you're closing off. You have to do something to save yourself, but you don't even see that your family is there to save you if you'll let them."

He snapped his gaze back to hers. "They've already saved me so much, Bella." He held up his hand when she shook her head and looked like she was about to speak. "I know you think that's what they want to do, but I can't bring them down to my level when I'm this fucked up."

"Then let them bring you up to their level. That's what they want, what they deserve as the people that love you."

"I'm in too much pain to feel love anymore." As he said the words, the hurt and confusion he'd been trying to push away came to the surface. It was too much loneliness and fear to put on other people's plates.

"We're created to be loved, Edward. Humans can't live without it." Her eyes were as gentle as her words, and he couldn't bear the way she put herself out there. She was so open, so raw and real, and he didn't deserve that type of person in his life.

So he spoke defensively. "Are you a shrink now?"

"Nope." She sat up and crossed her arms. "Just seeing a different perspective than you are."

"So you think Emmett and Rose don't have enough to worry about right now? The shop was closed for so long that we're struggling to get any clients back. They have a savings account, but they both worked there. That means no income with a newborn infant. You want me to unburden myself on them? That's the worst type of selfish."

Bella made a disgruntled sound. "Only because you refuse to see a qualified professional."

"Why do I need a professional to tell me I'm fucked up?" he snapped.

"That's not what they're for, Edward. You really think it's all about diagnosis and not about treatment?" She shifted like she was going to stand and Edward felt a sense of panic run through him.

"Don't go. I want to talk it out."

Bella raised her eyebrows. "I wasn't going anywhere. I was getting comfortable."

His face flamed and he looked at his lap. "I'll go to a freaking shrink if you think that's what's best for Maggie. I just have to get through the visit with the Stevensons first."

She waited a beat before replying. "I'm impressed. Why did you change your mind?"

He shook his head and met her gaze. "I don't know, maybe because you really know how to beat a dead horse."

"It clearly wasn't dead, and I wasn't beating anything." She shrugged. "I simply want you to be happy so Maggie can be happy."

"You're altruistic, then."

"What can I say, my family are all public servants. It's in the blood." She did stand then, but she didn't leave him. "I think they went to the kitchen. Should we join them?"

"Uh, yeah." Edward stood, too, but he was reluctant to stop talking to Bella. Something about it settled him and made him feel better about life.

The others were eating cheese and crackers. Edward saw that Bree was asleep in an automatic swing off to the side of the bay windows. It looked like a scene of domestic bliss, but Edward could only see the worry over unpaid bills as a result of a lack of work at the shop for him and Emmett. He could see the potential for fights over money, or who was working harder. He could only see the bad in the good. And that wasn't like him at all.

He knew that something had to give, and he knew what he'd told Bella about therapy. Somehow, it all felt too monumental to deal with.

"Edward, you want some?"

He looked up at Rose's face, smiling as she offered him a plate of fruit. He could pretend for her sake, even if it killed him. He accepted a small bunch of grapes, automatically seeking Bella. He found her at the table with Alice, so he propped a hip on the edge of it so he could be within her radius of warmth.

He didn't notice the way Emmett watched his every move and analyzed the hell out of it.


	19. Chapter 18

**Gird your loins for the Stevensons. **

* * *

Edward made sure his parents' house was clean in every nook and cranny before the Stevensons arrived, knowing it wouldn't matter. They would inevitably find something not up to their standards. He didn't parent correctly, keep house correctly, have a reliable job, on and on. There was never a time they liked him or approved of him. If he hadn't had the upbringing he had, with parents that praised him for hard work and achievements, he would have major self-esteem issues after spending any time with his in-laws. He worried over the state of his mind after a visit with them. He couldn't quite believe that there was nothing wrong with his usual train of thought, but neither did he think everything he did was exactly right.

He watched the clock like a kid dreading shots. The stone in his gut grew until it filled the back of his throat, making him swallow convulsively. Maggie waited next to the couch in her wheelchair, eager as any of them for the visit to be over. Emmett and Rose were in the kitchen with Bree, offering emotional support while not intruding. Esme and Carlisle waited in the living room with them; since it was their house, they figured they had the right to be there.

Edward realized that all the Cullens treated this visit as the equivalent to facing a firing squad.

The doorbell rang and Esme moved to answer it. Everyone in the room could see the schooling of her features; she put on her professional face and opened the door. "Jude, Gloria. Please, come in."

She wasn't happy to see them and Edward was glad she didn't say so.

"Dr. Cullen, how lovely to see you again." Gloria stepped inside and Edward smelled her perfume from across the room.

"Margaret." Jude walked to his granddaughter first and kneeled by her chair.

She looked up at him with solemn eyes. "Grandpa Jude."

With horror, Edward realized he was on the verge of tears. He hated that they were so uptight and unreachable. He hated the way they treated their own granddaughter. He blinked profusely and hoped they wouldn't fall.

Gloria trailed dutifully to Maggie's side and patted her on the shoulder. "Still in a wheelchair?"

She said it as if it was another of Edward's failings. Esme spoke up before Edward could. "Maggie has another two weeks of therapy before she'll be out of the chair. She can walk assisted now, but we don't want to rush anything and risk re-injuring her hip."

"Oh, of course." Edward knew that Gloria idolized his mother. Anything she said, unless it was in Edward's defense, was gospel.

Jude straightened to his full height, his gaze on his son-in-law. "And your friend did this to her?"

Edward felt his face from the inside. It morphed, drawing down, and grew hot. "He _was_ our friend, yes."

"He claims it was an accident," Carlisle intervened. "We don't know what his mental state is, but it appears he has been harboring some awful psychosis that no one caught onto."

"Including his wife and his physician," Esme added.

It was obvious to Edward they were trying to cut the blame game off at the knees. He wondered if it would work.

"Please, have a seat," Carlisle invited with a gesture of his hand.

The Stevensons sat, looked around the room, and avoided eye contact.

"Would either of you like a drink?" Edward offered with reluctance.

"Oh, no, we can't be staying long," Gloria replied. "Jude has a conference in town this evening."

That answered all of Edward's questions right there. "Sounds fascinating."

"Yes, quite," Jude started, and Edward tuned him out. He had no interest in hearing about the man's next business venture.

As Jude talked, Edward let his mind drift. It seemed inevitable that it should find its way to Bella. She'd given him plenty to think about the last few times he'd seen her. He was still on the fence about therapy, but he recognized that she was right about plenty. He couldn't leave town. He couldn't abandon Maggie after all she'd been through, and he had to stop blaming himself. His father was right about Ben, but it was a bitter pill to swallow that they'd been as close as brothers and Edward had never suspected a thing. If he looked back, with the clarity only hindsight could bring, he realized that there had always been something a little off about his friend. He'd trailed after Edward, trying to be in his shadow since high school. Edward thought of it as the sign of their deep friendship at the time, but he wondered if there was more to it. Ben never could be wrong about anything. They would fight about the oddest things because the resolution was for Ben to admit he had made a mistake.

"So we thought we'd come by while we were already in this area." Gloria sat back as she summed up everything Jude had just told them.

"Oh, you can't stay for dinner, then?" Esme said in a voice gone sickly sweet.

"No, I'm afraid not. We wanted to see little Margaret with our own two eyes to be certain she was on the mend." Gloria shot a glance at Edward that made it clear she thought he was somehow doing something wrong. It didn't matter what, it just mattered that it was his fault.

"Too bad." _So sad_. "Mom is making her famous fish fry. Shall we walk you out?" Edward asked with much glee.

"I don't believe that's necessary," Jude told him.

"Goodbye, Grandpa Jude and Grandma Gloria," Maggie said in her best imitation of the queen—or maybe it was her imitation of Gloria.

Esme and Carlisle rose and saw the Stevensons to the door, while Edward went to Maggie's side and kneeled.

"I'm so proud of you, Magpie."

She wrinkled her nose. "For what, Daddy?"

"Not letting trolls get the best of you." He grinned, and she giggled.

"I don't like them," she whispered, though they were outside by that point.

"It's okay not to like them, sweetpea. They loved your mother very much, and they didn't want to give her up. I suppose that's why they've never really liked me. I'm just sorry it rubs off on you." He gave her a kiss on the forehead and watched her blink become sluggish. "How about a nap before dinner?" he suggested.

"Will you stay with me?"

How could he resist that little face? "You can sleep in my bed and I'll lay down with you until you fall asleep, okay?"

She nodded, and he picked her up and carried her up the stairs. How could he have considered leaving this light behind? He felt the familiar guilt wash over him, but this time he knew he deserved it for the thoughts he'd been having. He still wanted to run, to avoid his problems and find oblivion where he didn't have to be reminded of everything that had gone wrong. But he knew he wouldn't act on it. Maggie was his light, his sun, his whole world. He would focus on her, on her strength through the tough times, and he would be the best father he could. Even if he thought he failed at that more often than not.

"Daddy?" she asked around a yawn.

"Yes, Magpie?" He set her on the bed and let her shift around and get comfortable before stretching out next to her.

"Are you and I going to be together forever?"

And just like that, she knocked the wind right out of him. "Why do you ask?"

She blinked up at him and moved her head so it rested on his outstretched arm. "Because Mommy left us, and I almost left you."

He stared at the wall behind her head and refused to cry. He locked down the emotions and made his best effort to remain neutral. "There's no way to know for sure, baby. It's not up to us. Didn't we learn after Mommy went to heaven that we have to love each other as hard as we can and always say I love you?"

"Even if we're mad," she recited.

"That's right."

"So if I don't love Grandma and Grandpa Stevenson, does that mean I've been bad? Will God be mad at me for not saying I love you?"

He tightened his arm around her so she curled into his side. Breathing came a little harder now. "Nobody will be mad at you for not loving every single person, but you do have to be respectful. That's good manners. It has nothing to do with whether someone will go to heaven." All those years later, and he still couldn't bring himself to say the word _die_.

"So I won't go away because I was bad?" Her voice was tiny and unsure.

His heart lodged in his throat. He swallowed around it. "No, Maggie, that's not how it works."

"I wish I could pick when I went to heaven. I'd stay with you always."

"If that was how it worked, Mommy would still be with us." _And our lives would be completely different._

Maggie didn't say anything else, and not long after, her breathing changed. Edward wanted to get up and find the rest of his family, but he didn't want to disturb her. She still tired out in the afternoons, but her naps were shorter. Finally, he decided to go ahead and slide his arm out from under her. She sighed softly and buried her face in the pillow.

He found everyone in the kitchen, Esme wrist deep in her preparations for dinner. She didn't cook as often as Carlisle did, but she was very good at it.

Rose looked up at him as he entered the room. "Edward, I was telling everyone that we'd like to have a little party for Maggie when she gets the official approval to be out of her wheelchair. What do you think?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "Who would you invite?"

She slid a look at Emmett, who held Bree up against his shoulder, before focusing on Edward once more. "Just us. Maybe Alice and Jasper. I like them."

Edward nodded. "That would be okay. I don't want to have too many people or wear her out."

"Of course not," Rose agreed.

"Do you want to do it here?" Carlisle asked.

"That would be easiest." Emmett shifted Bree to his other shoulder, and Edward saw that she was asleep.

"Okay, just don't go overboard. Don't invite everyone you work with and every friend you've . . . ever . . . made." He couldn't help but think of Ben and Angela. He hadn't heard from her since the day she showed up at his house demanding his arrest.

"I haven't heard from her," Rose said in a low voice.

"Reading my mind again, Rose?" Edward thought it was odd the way she seemed to know what he was thinking all the time.

"Maybe you're predictable," she retorted.

There was silence, and yeah, maybe they were all predictable. Surely every one of them thought of Angela and what she'd known. She hadn't been to work since the day Ben was arrested, and Rose didn't know what was going on. Rose was reticent to call her or go to her house, and Edward couldn't blame her. It must be similar to how he felt about Ben.

"Maggie was afraid that disliking her grandparents would carry a heavy punishment," Edward said to no one in particular.

Esme dropped her flour covered hands to the counter. "Oh, wow."

"Yeah." Edward scrubbed his palms over his face and took a seat at the counter. "She thinks that's what makes people go away like Beth."

"Fuck."

"Emmett. Language."

"Sorry, Ma."

Edward couldn't help but grin. Despite the heavy topic, his family was the same as ever. "I assured her that's not how it works, but don't be surprised if she asks one of you about it."

Carlisle said, "She's been asking about her grandparents, but nothing about death."

"Nobody likes them," Emmett said. Rose opened her mouth, but he cut her off. "It's not a secret, Ro. We all hate them and they've never given us a reason not to. They only dropped by for fifteen minutes because they were already coming here. They don't care about their flesh and blood."

"They only cared about Beth, and she's not here anymore."

"Yeah, Edward, but damn. They can't see that Maggie is a part of their daughter."

Edward snorted. "She's been tainted by my DNA."

"Sadly, I believe that's what they think," Rose said.

"Well, I hope you told her she's not required to like them," Esme began.

"Just be respectful to them," Edward finished. "I've always taught her what you taught us."

Carlisle came and put his arm around Edward. "You're a good father, Edward. Don't ever listen to anything otherwise."

Least of all his own fucked up head. "Thanks, Dad."

"So about that party," Emmett said after a few moments. "You're okay with us inviting Bella, Alice, and Jasper?"

Edward frowned. "Bella?"

"Subtle, Em. Slid that in there so smoothly." Rose rolled her eyes. "She's my friend like Alice is. You don't mind, do you?"

"I thought you liked Bella," Esme said.

"Sure. I like the Whitlocks too."

"Mm."

Edward looked closely at his mother. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing, dear. I'm about ready to fry the fish, Carlisle. Will you go get Maggie up?"

Edward kept his gaze on his mother as his father left the room. She didn't look up.

There was a strange feeling at the nape of his neck. He scratched absently, trying to figure out why there was tension in the room where there hadn't been. The fish sizzled as Esme dropped it in the hot oil, and Edward dutifully got up and began to set the table. He felt them watching him, would have sworn it, but when he looked up at them they were all doing something else.

* * *

**Think he'll figure out what they all know?**


	20. Chapter 19

"It's a lot like whiplash," Edward said. "One minute I feel as if I need to get far away so I can't ruin anyone else. But then I see Maggie's face and I can't help but realize she's everything to me."

"I really think it's natural to feel that way. You went through so much, and the perpetrator was someone very close to you. How could you not have conflicting thoughts?"

Edward shifted and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's like I should have seen it coming. That's what the illogical part of my brain says, anyway."

"You couldn't have. Nobody else did, so why do you think you should have been so damn clever?" She reached out and touched his arm. "Stop placing the blame on the victim."

He shook his head. "I never meant to do that. I don't want to be a victim."

"If you're still trying to avoid therapy, you need to talk about it more. To anyone."

"How do you know so much, Bella?" Edward's grin was wry. "You should have been a shrink yourself."

The others moved around the kitchen behind them, setting up food for Maggie's celebration. Edward still thought it was too much excitement for one little girl.

Bella shrugged. "It isn't my calling."

"How long have you been a dispatcher?" He didn't know very much about her life outside of the fact that she volunteered at the hospital.

"Oh, it's been a little more than four years. I had some training when I graduated high school, and I've been at it ever since."

"Do you still volunteer at the hospital?" He couldn't even imagine the place without seeing her in it.

"I do. Some weeks it's no more than one night a week, depending on my schedule. When I hit my five-year anniversary, I won't have to put up with swing shifts anymore. Being at the hospital is the best way to spend time with my mom."

He pursed his lips. "I haven't met your mom yet."

Bella shifted so Rose could walk past them out of the kitchen. "Mom works almost as much as Dad. I don't know how they do it, not seeing each other for more than a few hours per week."

"Some couples are built differently is all."

Bella nodded. "I feel like you and Beth must have been attached at the hip."

Edward straightened, shocked that Bella spoke so casually of Beth. "I guess. We were high school sweethearts."

"First love is the craziest," she stated with a knowing look.

"Why do you say that?" He hadn't felt crazy with Beth, just very much in love.

"My first boyfriend? We did things that were so out of character for me. I thought if I didn't do the craziest things to impress him that I didn't really love him. Like I had to prove myself to myself." She shook her head. "As the chief's daughter, I should have known better. I could have disgraced him."

"Wow. It sounds like you were more adventurous than we ever were."

She grinned at him. "But I learned my lesson. I realized nobody was worth my dignity."

He raised his brows. "At that young an age?"

Bella chuckled. "I was twenty."

"Late bloomer, then." Based on how long she'd been at her job, he pegged her as being in her early twenties.

"Well, yes. With a cop for a father, it's hard to date seriously. They tend to run off at the first sight of his shotgun."

Edward laughed. "I bet that was hard in high school."

"Not to mention that I've known most of the men in my age bracket since they were in diapers."

"That is a downside to living in a small town. Beth moved here from Seattle, so she was like fresh meat to everyone else. I didn't place any expectations on her, and it made it easy for us to be friends." He stopped talking as Maggie walked into the kitchen and right up to Bella.

"Look at me!" She spread her arms and twirled.

Bella squatted to her level. "I see you walking all by yourself. I'm so proud of the hard work you put in."

"And I lost a tooth." Maggie gave a wide and crooked smile to show off the space where her tooth had been. "I got a whole five dollars from the tooth fairy!"

"Wow! What are you going to spend it on?"

Maggie shot a glance at Edward. "Daddy says I can't spend it all on candy, but I can get a little. And I want bubbles!"

Bella chuckled. "That sounds like fun. A little bit of candy is a good idea." Bella straightened and ruffled Maggie's hair. "Have you been playing with Tyler?"

Maggie dropped her gaze, causing Edward to speak up in her place. "Tyler is a baby," he whispered. "But she's been very nice, despite her opinion of their age difference."

"He scribbled all over my unicorn, Daddy!"

"Oh, now, no tears, little miss." Bella stroked Maggie's cheek. "He didn't mean anything by it. You can put away your unicorn coloring book and pull out another one that you don't mind him scribbling in."

"Okay," Maggie said glumly.

They watched Maggie walk slowly to the dining room table where Tyler was knocking over a short stack of blocks. He was three, and Maggie had recently turned six. It was hard for her, but she made an effort.

"She's such a sweetheart," Bella said without looking away from the table.

"I'm pretty sure she's all Beth."

Her gaze traveled to Edward's face at that comment. "You raised her, you know."

"With a lot of help," he pointed out.

"Okay, and? Does that make your part in it any less important?"

"Does it ever occur to you that not everything that goes through your head should come out of your mouth?" he said in return.

Bella barked out a surprised laugh. "No, I guess not."

"Hey, Edward. Bella." They both looked up as Jasper approached them.

"Hey, man."

"You look better than the last time I saw you," Jasper remarked as he gave Edward a once over.

Edward scrubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, I decided drinking wasn't good for me."

"Great idea." Jasper clapped him on the shoulder. "However, _I'm_ going to go ahead and have a beer." Jasper smirked and left them alone again.

"Do you want to sit down?" Edward offered to Bella. "We don't have to stand here."

Bella looked around. "Maybe in the living room?"

He followed her to the couch. They had a clear view of the table Maggie and Tyler were at, as well as most of the family.

"How is your business faring?"

He sighed. "We had a few orders this week. The time until completion is longer than I'd like since it's just me." He watched Emmett pass through the dining room, tickling Maggie before moving on. "It's been hard on my savings, but I'm getting there."

"So it's possible everything will actually work out?"

He rolled his eyes. "Maybe."

"Seriously, you've made a visible change. Your attitude is everything. If you assume it's all going to shit, then it will. You'd be shocked what a positive outlook can do for your life."

"Honestly, if you want to start a new life as a shrink, I'll be the first to write a letter of recommendation."

Bella laughed. "Okay, should we talk about our hobbies? I'm guessing you haven't had the chance to get to any of yours recently."

"No, I definitely haven't." Esme came into the room, but she took one look at the couch and stopped at the dining room table. "Do you ever get the feeling that your family is avoiding you?"

"Avoiding me?" She followed his line of sight to Esme. "No. Why do you think they're avoiding you?"

He shook his head and gazed at her. She sat near him, angled in his direction. She wore her hair down; it had a way of cascading around her face in thick waves. "I can't explain it, but I keep finding myself alone."

"We're talking, so I imagine they don't want to interrupt."

"Maybe."

Esme finally came over. "I thought we could have some dessert now, if you're interested."

"Yes, thank you, Dr. Cullen."

Esme took Bella's hand as she stood. "Sweetheart, I've asked you for years to call me Esme."

Bella blushed. "I know, but I see you so often at the hospital that it doesn't feel natural."

"You don't call your mother by her title at home, do you? Or Mom at the hospital?"

"Of course not." She smiled at Esme. "I promise I'll try to remember."

Esme patted Edward's cheek and left them alone.

"I didn't realize you knew Mom."

Bella looked at Edward in surprise. "She spends plenty of time at the hospital. You know, delivering babies and all."

"That's true. It's just not something I'd thought about, I guess."

Bella went ahead to the kitchen, but Edward stayed there in front of the couch. Finally, Maggie came to retrieve him.

"What are you doing, Daddy?"

He blinked. "I don't know. Are you ready for pie?"

"Yes!" She clapped her hands. "I asked Grandpa to make apple."

"Your favorite." She tugged on his hand until he followed her. Esme was at the stove with Carlisle, and the others were scattered around the bar and the table. Maggie went ahead to get her piece, but Edward stayed in the doorway. Rose and Bella were talking about something, and Jasper was attempting to get Tyler to make less of a mess. Alice passed a plate to Emmett as Carlisle brought it over.

It looked like a family.

"Edward, come over here and have some pie," Rose called.

He went, sat next to Maggie, and stared down at the plate Carlisle set in front of him. It looked perfect; melting vanilla ice cream and a dollop of whipped cream adorned the top. "Thanks, Dad."

But Carlisle had already moved on. Edward couldn't put his finger on what he felt. Nothing was wrong, exactly, just . . . different. Odd.

"Daddy, eat it!" Maggie said. He stuck his tongue out and she giggled at him.

He took a bite, enjoying the contrast of warm and cold on his tongue. Alice laughed at something, and Bella followed suit. Emmett ate too fast, as usual, meaning he was done first. He took Bree from Rose's arms so she would have an easier time eating her slice. Edward ate more pie, listening to the surrounding conversations. Alice spoke of a little kid in Maggie's class, one that she knew, and how they were looking forward to her return to school.

Edward had forgotten that she would go back next week. They'd worked on papers and tests in the last few weeks, trying to get her caught up. She could have technically gone back much sooner, but Edward had asked for more time. He didn't actually think he was ready now, but he knew Maggie was. He couldn't keep her home forever, as much as he wished he could homeschool her. He didn't have the patience, much less the time.

That made him think of the orders that had come in recently. He really had thought the business was broken beyond repair, and then he got two calls in three days. A headboard and footboard for one couple, and an entertainment center for the other. They would bring in some cash, and he needed that. He didn't want to borrow from his parents. They'd already picked up the slack in many areas of his life without him having to ask, like groceries and the fact that they were providing the roof over his and his daughter's head.

"Do you think so, Edward?"

His head popped up at the sound of his name. "What was that?"

Alice tittered a laugh. "I said, Maggie is more ready to come back to school than you are to send her."

Edward nodded vigorously. "Absolutely."

"I miss my friends." She bounced in her seat.

"No chasing after squirrels, young lady," Carlisle said sternly.

There came the lump in Edward's throat. It had a permanent residence. He swallowed past it, knowing that Alice would keep a close eye on her. The pie was the most interesting thing to focus on for several minutes while Maggie and Carlisle talked more about her class, with Alice chiming in. He'd have to let her out into the world again, back to a scary place where absolutely anything could happen to her and he had no control over any of it.

"She'll be okay."

The gentle voice was accompanied by a soft touch. Blinking, Edward lifted his head and met Bella's warm brown gaze. "I hope so."

Only time would tell if he would be okay, too.

* * *

**Lots of Bella. Do you feel you know her a little better? She doesn't blurt out her life story, that's for sure.**


	21. Chapter 20

"What are you doing here?" Edward asked his brother. He'd just stopped to take a break from the piece he was working on when Emmett came striding into the back through the front reception area.

"Rose basically told me to get out of the house unless I want Bree to be the only child we ever have." He looked extremely stressed out for such a laid back person.

Edward barked out a laugh. "Driving her crazy, huh?"

"I guess. I try to be helpful, but she said she just wants some alone time during Bree's nap."

"Well, I can definitely use your help." He looked around the workshop. "It feels real good to be back in here."

"I bet. Makenna seems to be working out up front." Emmett wandered, picking up a sandpaper block and getting to work on the supple curves of the headboard Edward was in the process of making.

"She's smart and fast, both a plus."

"Good. Rose will be pleased to hear that."

They worked in silence for several minutes, Emmett sanding and Edward sketching the outline of the entertainment center on order. One of the things Edward appreciated most about his brother was that he didn't need to fill the air with idle chatter.

Still. "I decided to find a therapist in Hoquiam."

Emmett didn't stop moving or look up. "Good."

Edward straightened, wiped his brow. "That's all? Good?"

"Yeah, brother. I know you're doing much better, but it can't all be smooth sailing. Doesn't mean I need to throw you a parade for making the right choice."

Edward snorted.

"You give any thought to women?" Emmett said, maybe less casually than it sounded in his head.

"Women? Like dating them?"

Now Emmett snorted. "Yeah, dumbass. What else?"

What else, indeed? "No, I haven't thought of women since Beth and I began dating."

"You should have, years ago." Emmett ran his hand over the smoothness he'd created. "Like a baby's ass."

Edward watched his brother with the sandpaper, wished for a stiff drink. Rolling his shoulders, he put his pencil behind his ear and walked to the mini fridge in the corner. "Want a bottle of water?"

"Nah."

"So I should have been dating by now, is that what you're saying? Just add it to my list of faults."

"That's not what I said." Emmett watched Edward unscrew the lid of the water, tilt the bottle back. "Bella is pretty, and she doesn't seem to find your emo ass annoying."

Edward choked on the water, causing Emmett to guffaw.

When he could breathe again, he said, "What the hell?"

"Timed it just right, I'd say." Emmett grinned and hummed a tune as he finished off the section he was working on.

"Why are we talking about Bella?"

"I would have thought it was obvious, but let me spell it out. She likes you. She's not ugly. She fits in with the family. Maggie loves her." As he made each point, he ticked them off on his fingers.

"I can't say that I realized any of this." Okay, maybe he noticed that she's not ugly. "She is good with Maggie, but that's not a reason to date somebody."

"Not a reason not to either." All serious, Emmett met his brother's gaze, held it steady. "All I'm saying is, it wouldn't kill you to find some happiness again."

"I love my wife."

Emmett's tone gentled, even as he toughened his words. "Beth is dead, Edward. You aren't."

"There's no way I could ever love anyone the way I loved Beth." He felt the claws ripping their way up his throat, tried to smother them with more water. He breathed deliberately, evenly. Slowly.

"Look, I'm not saying it would be the same. Of course it'll be different. But that doesn't mean it isn't as strong or as good." He walked over to Edward, put his hand on his shoulder. "Sometimes you can find happiness when you aren't even looking for it."

"I don't even know what to say to that."

Emmett shrugged and went back to work. "Just think about it."

He thought about it, all right. Couldn't stop thinking about it as he finished his work day and went home. His parents were heading out of town for a few days, and Edward found his father packing in his bedroom.

"Dad, can I talk to you?"

"Of course, son." Carlisle set aside the sweater he held and sat on the edge of the bed by his suitcase.

Edward remained standing, paced the room and came back. "Do you think that true love is a one-time deal?"

Carlisle smiled warmly. "No. I think there are levels of true love, if you will."

Edward sank into an armchair by the window. "What do you mean?"

"When I was in high school, I was in love. Head-over-heels in love with Mary Ellen, the senior editor of the school paper. She and I had everything in common." His smile changed, became nostalgic. "Mary Ellen was my One with a capital O. She and I were made for each other. We had plans to get married, and I prayed it would work out. She was my dream."

"What happened?"

"You don't realize that first love can feel like the end-all, be-all even when it's not. You don't realize that sometimes it's only so intense because it's all you've ever known." Carlisle pointed to the picture of Beth and Maggie on the bookshelf. "She was your first love, Edward. There's no telling if the two of you would have been happy all your lives."

"We would have."

"I understand your vehemence. The two of you were very compatible, and you're the constant sort. You would have made your marriage work."

"So what are you saying?" Edward asked impatiently.

"I'm saying that some people love more than one person at a time and have to choose, or have both. I'm saying that some people fall in and out of love at the snap of their fingers. And most of all, thank God I met Esme before I married Mary Ellen."

Edward left the room feeling more confused than ever. If what he'd had with Beth was just the rush of first love, did that mean there was more out there for him? Had he buried his head in the sand because he assumed there was no point in finding second best?

His cell phone rang, and he fished it out of his pocket as he headed into the kitchen.

"Hello?"

"Edward, it's Jasper. Alice wanted me to give you a head's up."

"Okay." He opened the refrigerator and tried to decide what to make for dinner.

"Tyler is sick. I'm sorry we didn't know before the party, or we wouldn't have brought him."

He shoved the door closed with a thud and leaned on it. "What does he have?"

"Stomach bug. Sorry, man."

Edward thumped his head on the fridge. "Not your fault. I need to check on Maggie."

"Sure. Bye."

Dinner forgotten, Edward climbed the stairs to see how Maggie was doing. She'd been napping when he got home, which hadn't seemed like such a big deal at the time. Most six-year-olds didn't nap, but most of them hadn't been through what Maggie had.

The door creaked just the slightest as he opened it. She appeared fine from where he stood. He went back down the hall to his father.

"Has Maggie said anything about not feeling well?"

Carlisle zipped his suitcase as he answered. "No, just that she was tired. Why?"

"Jasper called. Tyler has the stomach flu."

"That's not good. You need me to call your mother? I was going to pick her up so we could head straight to the airport, but we can probably work something out."

Edward just shook his head. "No, you two go. I'm sure the medical conference will be tons of fun."

Carlisle chuckled and clapped Edward on the back as he passed him. "It's not about the conference, Edward. It's about the hotel room."

"Oh, ew. I didn't need to know that."

"Bye, son!" Carlisle called from the staircase.

Mildly disgusted, Edward followed slowly. He made a sandwich and ate standing at the sink, feeling just like a bachelor. If Maggie woke up sick, he'd deal with it. Nothing else he could do.

"Daddy?"

He turned to find her in the doorway; her cheeks were flushed, her hair matted to her face with sweat. _Fuck_.

"How do you feel?"

"My belly hurts." She sat at the table, laid her head on her arm.

He rested his palm on her forehead, knowing she would be burning up before he touched her. "Sorry, kiddo, but it looks like Tyler gave you the stomach flu."

She moaned. "I want to go back to sleep."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded as she stood up. He trailed along behind her and waited for the other shoe to drop because he knew it would. He gave her something for the fever and hoped it would work before she threw it up.

If he thought they would make it through the night without too much trouble, he was sorely mistaken. By eleven, he ended up camped in the bathroom with Maggie, helping her each time she got sick. He'd pulled her hair back from her face with a quick bun and he bathed her face with a cool washcloth. She slept fitfully with her head on his lap, only to startle awake and lean over the toilet. The fever he couldn't treat worried him. She would just throw up whatever he administered.

By the time the sun came up, they were both exhausted. Hoping for the best, he left her in the bathroom to find his sanity in the bottom of a cup of coffee. By the time he got back, she was throwing up again.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry."

"S'okay."

They continued that way for the better part of the day. She dry heaved when there was nothing left in her, and each time he urged her to swallow a few drops of water, she'd lose that, too. He grew frustrated, bleary-eyed, and wished his daughter wasn't in pain. He spent some time on the phone with his mother, who assured him it just needed to run its course unless her fever got too high, and to continue trying with the water.

Late that afternoon, she finally rested her head on the side of the tub and dozed. Frowning over the entire situation, he wished he had backup. Just an hour of sleep would be life changing at that moment. He didn't want to risk infecting Emmett, so he was out. His parents were enjoying Los Angeles by then, more power to them.

It was there in the back of his mind. Her name glowed like a neon sign, the words of his brother and father circling. He didn't want to impose on her though. He had no right to ask it of her. They weren't even really friends. There were a million reasons he could think of to dissuade him from calling Bella.

He pulled up her number in his phone, snorted over the fact that he'd never thought he'd actually use it, and hit the button. What was he thinking?

It rang twice before she picked up. "Edward?"

She sounded as shocked as he felt. "Um, yeah. Hi."

"Is everything okay?"

How pathetic was he that she automatically assumed something was wrong? And yet, she was right. "Sort of. It's just that Maggie is really sick and I'm here alone."

"Do you need to take her to the doctor?"

"No, not right now, at least. She picked up Tyler's stomach flu."

She tutted. "Oh, the poor lamb. How can I help?"

The fact that she offered before he had to ask made his shoulders relax. "I could use some company, that's all."

"Sure. I'll be there in about half an hour."

"I appreciate it."

He had second thoughts as soon as they hung up. He shouldn't have asked. He shouldn't have even called her to begin with. He didn't know her that well, they weren't even friends, and he didn't know what he'd been thinking.

The doorbell rang, and he sucked in a breath. He could do this. He could accept her help, lean on her, and be friendly. He kind of always did, anyway. He'd find out if there was any truth to what Emmett had said. He'd find out if there was any interest on her side. And then what? His head swam with all the crazy possibilities as he opened the door.

He realized with a jolt how good she looked as she stood on the threshold. He stepped back and let her in, noting that she carried an enormous bag.

"I brought some things I had at home."

"Thanks."

He followed her to the kitchen, realizing she knew her way around. She set her bag down and began pulling items out Mary Poppins-style. She had an electrolyte drink, crackers, a box of chamomile tea, and a frozen dinner.

"This is for you." She held out the cold box. "I'm sorry it's not more manly, but you eat this and I'll go check on Maggie."

"I . . . she's in the upstairs bathroom off the hall."

Bella nodded and took off. He watched her go, wondering if there was any chance he could be attracted to her.

He stood in the kitchen watching the meal revolve in the microwave. Bella reappeared, scaring the shit out of him.

"I tucked her in bed. She said she hasn't thrown up in a little while, but I left her trash can right by her head in case she can't make it to the bathroom."

"Thanks for coming." The microwave beeped before he could say anything else.

He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge for each of them and sat at the table. She joined him, and for a minute they were silent.

"I'm glad you called, Edward."

He looked up, trying to read her mind. He didn't have Rose's talent in that area. "I feel like I impose on you too much as it is, but I didn't know who else to call. I just need a minute that doesn't revolve around worrying over Maggie."

"That's understandable."

They heard footsteps hurrying across the floor above them and rose at the same time.

"I've got her. You eat."

Edward couldn't be sure if it was the right move, but he listened. It was what he wanted when he called her, after all. It was just that now he sat there alone again.

He knew he'd had blinders on. He could see clearly now that the world had been turning while he remained frozen. What he didn't know was how to get back on the carousel of life.

* * *

**I'm sure we can all agree we've been waiting for this for a long time.**


	22. Chapter 21

**Bella didn't go home! She's sticking around for a bit.**

* * *

He found her upstairs when he'd finished eating, sitting in a chair she'd dragged next to Maggie's bed. His daughter was asleep, thankfully. Bella had a book open in her lap, and he had no idea where she'd gotten it from. Maybe her magic bag.

"Bella?" he murmured.

She put one finger in her book and looked up at him. He gestured for her to follow him and then went down the stairs. When they were both in the living room, he spoke again.

"Thanks for dinner," he joked.

"I promise I'm usually a better cook."

Edward chuckled and sat on the couch. She sat at the far end and angled to face him.

"She didn't throw up that time, but she thought she was going to."

"That's a relief." He ran his hands over his eyes. "I'm just so tired. We were up almost all night."

"Do you want to get some sleep?"

"Yes, but I thought I'd stay here with you for a little while. That's why I called you, after all."

"To entertain me when you can't keep your eyes open?" She stretched her legs out and rested her head on the back of the couch.

"Actually, yes." He continued when Bella raised her eyebrows. "I realized that I didn't want to be alone. I guess it's a neurosis, technically, to not be comfortable alone. I haven't had an issue with it in about five years, but now it makes me very anxious."

"You know that whatever you're feeling is okay, right? No matter how you feel, as long as it's not suicidal, it's okay to take a minute and be okay with it."

"Tell me honestly, how do you know so much about this?" He saw the reluctance when she looked away from him, started to say she didn't have to tell him.

"I was in therapy for many years."

His voice rose in surprise. "You were?"

Bella nodded and met his gaze again. "I was ten. I remained in therapy until I was sixteen, and then I went back when I was twenty-one."

"Are you . . . are you in it now?"

She shook her head. "I realized very quickly that time what I'd been doing that was bad for my mental health. I had the tools to move on and improve myself."

"Uh, the boyfriend?" She'd said she went too far with him and had to hit the brakes before she embarrassed her father.

"Yes."

"Do you ever talk about what happened to necessitate therapy at such a young age?" He couldn't think of a more polite way to ask her what made her need that kind of help at ten.

"No. But I'll tell you."

"Only if you're sure. You don't have to open up old wounds."

She took a deep breath and reached over to touch the back of his hand. "I want to."

"Okay. I'm listening."

"I had a younger brother."

He bit his tongue to hold in the questions that crowded his head at that declaration. Automatically, his thoughts went to his daughter up in her room.

"Mom was told she'd never have any children after me. I gave her considerable complications, and my parents were happy to not go through that again. Unfortunately, life sometimes has other ideas."

He didn't think she realized she rubbed her thumb over his hand. He was surprised at how much he enjoyed it. "So, you had a brother."

"Yes. Marcus. I was five when he was born. I was jealous, as kids tend to be. I thought he received more attention than I had in my entire life. Mom stayed home with him while I went to school, and he had her all to himself. I hated him." She wiped away a tear that slipped down her cheek.

"Do you want to make some coffee, or some of that tea you brought?"

Bella nodded, stood. "I could use a minute."

He gave her that minute and then some. He made coffee because it felt like it would be a long night while she made tea. They moved around the kitchen in companionable silence, and Edward didn't hate it. When they were both holding steaming mugs, they sat back down on the couch.

"I struggled through my early school years. I wanted more of Mom's attention. Dad was about to be promoted to sergeant back then, and he was never home. I resented Marcus for being this tiny monster that stole my toys and our parents' limited time." She took a breath, took a sip.

"And something tells me this story doesn't have a happy ending." He set his coffee on the side table and moved closer to her.

"No, I can't say that it does. Um." Bella sucked in a breath. "The summer right before I turned ten, we went on a camping trip. It was the first time Mom and Dad could get time off together. Marcus was enrolled in kindergarten, and it was all he could talk about. I kept telling him to shut up. Those are the last words I said to him."

"Hey, it's okay."

He took her cup from her hands before she could drop it, pulled her into his arms and held on tight. She hiccuped into his shoulder and wept for the terror of losing her brother.

"You don't need to tell me the rest. I can pretty much figure it out."

"No." She tipped back to see his face. "I want to tell you."

His stomach knotted. "Are you sure?"

Bella nodded. "It's relevant. You see, he went missing overnight."

A warning bell went off in Edward's head. That was relevant, all right. He didn't think he had the courage to picture what must have happened so close on the heels of what almost happened to Maggie. "I don't know if I can handle hearing this."

"Okay." She sniffed, sat back. "Okay, I respect that. Let me just say that I understand what you went through. Dad understood you during Maggie's disappearance. He knows how to put it behind him when it's important, so he can do the job. But me, I can't put it behind me so easily. I needed to help. I _had_ to."

Because her brother never came back home to annoy her and steal her toys. "It explains how you know so much about therapy."

"I know enough to see that you'd benefit from it even now that you're better. I considered going myself after Maggie was found because it brought up old wounds. I was jealous, Edward."

"Jealous?"

"And so, so angry because your five-year-old came home. If not sound, she was safe. My brother didn't. And it's not fair or right to feel that way, but I worked through it. Being helpful was a balm as much as payment for my feelings."

"And it caused you to push relentlessly until I agreed to therapy," he said in mild annoyance.

Bella chuckled. "Yeah, I guess so."

He was silent for several minutes as he thought about what she'd said. He thought she'd gravitated toward Maggie for some unknown reason and, to a point, that was true. It never occurred to him it was because she'd been through something similar.

So Emmett was wrong. Bella wasn't there because she had feelings for Edward, it was because she felt the need to help Maggie. He couldn't fault her for that. He also couldn't explain the feeling he got in his gut with that realization.

"I'm going to check on Maggie." He stood and left the room before she could respond.

Maggie was in bed asleep, as she'd been the last time he was up there. He tried to calm his racing thoughts, but he failed. He should send Bella home. Now it felt like he was taking advantage of old grief to keep her here helping him out. He figured he should try harder to find his own place, to move on with Maggie and be content to have such a close relationship with his family. And nothing more than that.

He heard a noise behind him and spun to find Bella in the doorway. "Is she okay?"

Edward nodded. "I think I should wake her to give her something to drink, see if it stays down."

Bella wrinkled her forehead. "She does need fluids, but do you really want to wake her?"

He glanced back at his daughter. "No, but I think it's for the best."

"Okay. I'll bring her a drink."

Edward sat on the edge of the bed and kissed Maggie's forehead. She was hot, but not as much as before. "Magpie."

She mumbled, shifted her head.

"Maggie, let's get something to drink. Okay?"

She opened her eyes and nodded sleepily. "Where's Bella?"

Edward grumbled lightly. "Not even happy to see your dad, huh?"

Maggie just stared at him.

"Here, sweetpea." Bella came in the room with a glass of pale blue liquid.

Maggie took it and was just about to gulp it when Edward put his hand on the glass. "Go slow. Just a little until we know if you're done throwing up."

Maggie took a tentative sip and let Edward set the glass on her night stand.

"How do you feel?"

Her voice was raspy when she answered. "Better."

Edward moved to sit in the chair and let Maggie lay back on the bed. She closed her eyes and he watched to see if the Gatorade would stay down.

Bella sat on the foot of the bed, and he was tempted to tell her she could leave. However, he didn't want to be rude, and he didn't want to say anything in front of Maggie.

After some time, Bella got up and left the room. Edward decided to give Maggie another sip and then let her rest.

He found Bella in the kitchen looking in the fridge. "If that stays down, I could make her some scrambled eggs and toast."

"Um, yeah, maybe the next time she wakes up." He could make eggs and toast, but he didn't say that.

She turned to face him as he stood in the archway. "Are you okay?"

He blinked a few times. "Me? Yes."

She leaned casually against the counter top. "You seem different since we talked."

"Do I?" He should have known she'd see right through him. She was astute.

"Maggie is going to be okay."

"Yes."

"So it's me."

He let her statement hang in the air for a moment. "I don't want to take advantage of you, and knowing that you feel the need to serve penance through my daughter—"

"Whoa, when did I say that? Sure, at first, it was sort of like that. I never said I felt the need to continue atonements."

"You kind of did."

She put a hand up. "Look. If I didn't want to be here, I would have said no. You're a smart guy; put two and two together, Edward."

He watched Bella walk out of the room. He felt the need to follow her, to be in the same room. It wasn't the first time he'd felt that way in her presence. She wanted to be there, then. Frustrated, he scrubbed a hand through his hair and went after her.

"I'm sorry I suck at this so much."

"We should talk about something else," she responded.

They sat, picked up drinks gone mostly cold, and found they had more in common than they thought. From books, to movies, to music, they found plenty to discuss. Edward suddenly realized how late it had gotten, and how close Bella was to him, as their conversation lagged. They sat side by side with their feet propped on the ottoman. Bella hadn't said anything in several moments, but he was afraid of disturbing her. He assumed she was asleep by the gentle way her chest rose and fell with each quiet breath. He risked shifting to look down at her face, and she shifted in response. He froze, arms raised and panic racing through him. She was either going to leave or slug him, he was positive.

Bella did neither. Instead, she curled her hand and rested it on his chest, then crept over until her head was there, too. He tilted his head to look at her in utter confusion. She slept, he was sure of that. He didn't touch her, just stretched his arms out along the back of the couch.

He couldn't believe his heart pounding out of his chest didn't wake her. He felt . . . baffled. He'd thought she didn't want to be near him, only Maggie. She'd basically told him to get a clue, but he honestly hadn't thought she meant . . . this. This was more than what he'd expected or thought about in years. It was comfort, contentment, a sense of belonging that frankly scared the shit out of him.

He lowered his arms to circle her back and decided it was nice. He wasn't sure what the hell he was doing, but he was pretty sure he'd just taken a leap of faith.


	23. Chapter 22

**This is one of those times that I'll tell you to grab a tissue if you cry easily like me.**

* * *

When Edward woke up, things weren't as difficult as he'd expected them to be. He thought there would be several awkward moments where he had to either extract himself or explain himself.

But Bella was no longer on the couch with him, or even in the room.

He made his way to the half bath by the front door, thinking about the night before as he used the restroom. Bella was a warm weight on his chest that he discovered he enjoyed. He didn't panic to be touched by her, at least not past those first initial seconds. He wished he'd thought about her in that way sooner, so that he had an idea of how the fuck to feel about it. He knew that he considered her a friend, that he confided in her and she didn't share anything he said with others. He knew that his panic attacks calmed when she was near, that he felt soothed in her presence. Was all of that enough to build a foundation on?

As he left the bathroom, he heard Maggie's voice and discovered they were both in the kitchen. The sight of Bella at the stove and his daughter working the toaster sent a warmth through the center of his chest.

"Good morning," he said as he walked into the kitchen.

"Daddy." More sedately than usual, Maggie crossed the room to hug him.

He looked down at her. "Feeling better?"

She nodded and wrapped her arms around his middle.

"That's good. You slept for hours this time."

"Bella made me some tea and it stayed down, so we're making breakfast. Something easy on my belly, she said." She jiggled up and down on her toes, more like her usual bubbly self.

Edward ran a hand down his daughter's neatly braided hair. "She's a smart woman."

"Thank you," Bella said as she turned off the burner and picked up a spatula. "Mags, do you want to put the toast on the plates?"

"Yes." Edward watched her get the little wooden tongs his father loved and pluck the toast from the slots.

Bella and Maggie worked together to put food on three plates. Edward went to the coffeemaker and was ready to weep at the fresh pot he found. "Thank God for good coffee."

"I knew you'd need it. It was late by the time you fell asleep."

He paused with the spoon in mid-stir, slowly looking up at Bella. "You fell asleep first."

She only winked at him and carried the plates to the table.

He felt like he'd been punched in the gut. She was awake when she'd curled up on his chest. She knew he'd embraced her, that he'd sighed in utter contentment and drifted into a dreamless sleep.

His cheeks burned as he took his usual seat. He stared down at fluffy eggs and decided he'd better just eat them before either of them thought something was wrong with him. Bella chatted with Maggie about school, which she was going back to the next day. Edward ate his eggs, trying to decide how he felt.

Bella liked him. She wasn't there for Maggie, or not just her. Maggie liked Bella a lot. His family liked her. He . . . okay, yes, he liked her. But to do something like, what, date her? He didn't know if he had that in him.

He thought of his father's words and his opinion that it was possible that first love was all-consuming but not the greatest love ever to exist. It felt like a betrayal to Beth's memory to even consider that someone else could be as important to him as she'd been. Still, as Emmett had pointed out, he was the one living. Beth would not have wanted him to wallow in misery for the rest of his life, that he knew.

"Daddy, can we go to the cemetery today?"

His head came up. "Today?"

"I wouldn't mind going with you," Bella said.

He wanted to squirm with the way she looked directly into his eyes. "I guess we can. It's been some time since we last went."

"Thanks," Maggie answered, swinging her legs hard enough to shake the table.

Edward put his hand on her closest knee. "Only if you settle down and eat."

"Yes, sir." She turned to Bella. "We're going to see Mommy today."

Yes, his heart could still clench in that uncomfortable way. Why did Bella want to tag along for something like this? He did his best to eat and not dwell on things like that. Surely she had her reasons.

With eggs and bread sitting in his gut like lumps of coal, Edward cleared the table and washed the dishes. Bella and Maggie had gone upstairs, and maybe it was because Bella knew he needed breathing room. Since Maggie was already dressed with her hair smoothed into a French braid just the way she liked, he didn't know what they were really doing.

Maggie bounced into the room. "Ready!"

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Edward commented as he took his coat off the hook by the back door.

"Right as rain, like Grandma says!"

Edward chuckled, watching Bella come toward them with her coat on. "Ready?"

She nodded.

The car ride couldn't have been silent with Maggie in attendance, but she held up the majority of the conversation. Bella was in the front seat, but she mostly looked out the window. Edward wondered yet again why she'd wanted to come.

Thankfully, Forks was a small enough town that the ride was short. When they parked, Maggie barreled out of the car and in the direction of her mother's gravestone. Bella and Edward got out more slowly, and he had the urge to feel her out again. He was constantly looking for motivation, thanks to Ben.

"Why are you so scared?" she asked him as they strolled to the spot where Maggie crouched in the brown grass.

Edward whipped his head in her direction. "Why do you think I'm scared?"

"From the minute Maggie asked to visit her mother, you've been distant. You shut down on me, and I thought we were past all that."

He ran a shaking hand through his hair and considered. "I'm as boring as they come, Bella. Visiting a grave on a Sunday shouldn't be a fun time. I don't know why you'd want to come along."

"Visiting a grave is an acceptable way to pass some time, and your daughter wanted to come. That doesn't make you boring." She stopped just out of Maggie's range of hearing, causing him to stop with her. "You don't think you deserve a second chance at love?"

He swallowed. "Who said anything about love?"

"I just did."

Edward backed up when she got in his space. "It only just occurred to me two days ago that there's life after Beth."

Bella inhaled sharply. "Two days ago? Really?"

He almost smiled when she took one big step back. "Really."

She turned to the heavy gray stone that Maggie chattered at. Bella stroked a hand over the curved top, then sat on the grass. The day was cold and still, the chill of winter not yet blooming into spring. Bella's lips moved, and he realized she was speaking to Beth the same as Maggie.

Intrigued, he moved closer.

"Tomorrow. It'll be the first day in months and months. Miss Alice says I'm doing really good though." Maggie reached forward and traced her finger over the words etched into the stone. "And I was sick, but now I'm not. I feel much better. Bella helped me feel better last night, but Daddy had to do it all day yesterday. He says it's his job."

He grinned at the way Maggie caught her mother up on what was going on in her life. Then he realized Bella wasn't speaking anymore, so he sat between the two of them. "Do you mind if I ask what you were saying?"

She glanced at him. "Maybe I was praying for patience."

He chuckled. "Believe me, I know you need it when I'm around."

Bella was silent for a moment. Maggie got up and walked around, patting stones and fluffing flowers. "Honestly, Edward? I was asking permission."

He shouldn't have asked; the answer caused his heart to pound painfully. He realized that maybe a pounding heart wasn't a bad thing, not when it centered around a woman. "I'm not entirely obtuse, Bella. At least, I didn't use to be. I closed myself off when she died. I had a baby to care for."

"I understand grief, Edward. And maybe you were doing okay three, four months ago. But you've been alone for what, five years?"

"About that long. Maggie was fourteen months old when Beth died." He didn't jolt when her hand rested on his knee. Maybe it was the lack of pressure, the lack of expectations. There'd been pain in her childhood, but she'd worked past it and made herself into something strong and whole. He admired her, he respected her, and he was just beginning to see there could be more under the surface for the both of them. If he had the nerve to reach out and take it, she could give him everything.

"Anyone can see how much you loved her."

"Beth was my first." But she didn't have to be his last, he mused.

"And you figure nobody is going to be able to replace her, so why try?" Bella's voice was gentle, the way it was when she had all the patience in the world for a cracked soul.

Edward pursed his lips. "That about sums it up."

"So I asked her if it would be okay if I did my best to make you happy." She scooped back the hair that blew over his arm in the sudden breeze. "And while I don't intend to replace her, I do think you can find room in your heart for more." When she looked up at him with depthless eyes, they seemed to say, _room for me_.

Edward wanted to give in to tears, but he didn't. How did she do that to him with just a few simple words? "I feel comfortable, comforted even, when I'm with you. You're very pretty, and Maggie loves you." Was that enough for a fresh start? "We're friends, and that's a good, solid foundation."

"Are you willing to give it a shot?"

"To give us a shot?" He looked back at the stone, read the words again. _Beloved wife and mother_. Edward had often felt he'd died the day Beth did, but she had a date of death and he didn't.

He swallowed thickly as Bella took his hand in hers. The wind had kicked up, swirling around the two of them until all of Bella's hair swept in his direction. It wrapped around him like a cloak, like a protective shield.

"I think she's given us her answer."

Edward felt all of his fear and uncertainty drain away at Bella's words. He smiled faintly. "Maybe she has."

"You move as fast as a lame turtle with bifocals, Edward Cullen."

The words didn't come out of Bella's mouth. He heard them in Beth's voice, felt them in his heart. It was something she used to say to him all the time. It was true that he wasn't impulsive, that he liked to know where he was going and what the outcome would be before he set off on his charted course. He was a careful man, more than ever once he had a baby girl to look after on his own. He'd shuttered his heart five years ago, shouldered the responsibility of being a widower like it was a sworn duty. He hadn't allowed himself to live. He remembered the way he'd curled up on this very grave the day of the service, and he suddenly wondered if he was only now getting to his feet.

He stood and held his hand out. Bella accepted it and stood by his side. They looked down at Beth's gravestone together, and the wind died down.

"Thank you, Beth, for some of the best years of my life. It's time for me to start a new chapter now, baby."

"She understands," Bella whispered.

He knuckled away a tear and headed toward the car, Bella's hand in his. Maggie skipped toward them and climbed in, and Edward gave another look back before settling in next to Bella. It was time to move forward.

* * *

**One of my pre-readers asked if this was the end. I figure you'd all kill me if I left it here but, once she pointed it out, it does sound like it's wrapped up. Don't worry, it's not.**


	24. Chapter 23

**The consensus is that we'd all like their story to continue. Luckily, I have plenty in my head for these two. But, for now, Edward is finally attending therapy.**

* * *

Edward couldn't quite be sure if it was the right choice to go to his first therapy appointment on the same day that Maggie went back to school. On one hand, he knew he needed extra help on that day more than ever. On the other hand, he'd been anxious enough without adding to his stress.

He couldn't help the nervous energy that caused him to tap his fingers repeatedly on his knees. He watched the clock on the wall tick by in agonizing slowness while he waited for them to call his name. When it was his turn, he calmly walked down the hall and into the room he was supposed to bare his soul in. There were a few plaid couches and a large wooden desk with a man standing in front of it.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen, I'm Dr. Brennan."

"You can call me Edward," he responded as they shook hands.

Dr. Brennan was taller than Edward, broad in the chest with a head full of white hair. "Sounds good, Edward. Have a seat wherever you're comfortable."

He chose the corner of the sofa and tried not to fidget.

"So, if it's okay with you," Dr. Brennan said as he brought his leather desk chair closer to the sofa. "I'd like to start with the reason you're here."

Edward clasped his hands together and thought about his words before he spoke. "I came to realize I've been holding in my grief over my wife's death. She passed away five years ago, and I never quite got through it as well as I thought I did." He swallowed. "And recently, a close friend of mine injured my daughter Maggie and hid her in a well because he thought he'd killed her."

"I imagine you had varying emotions regarding that instance."

Edward laughed bitterly. "You could say that. Betrayal, failure, guilt. Why couldn't I see what kind of monster he was, you know?"

"I understand."

"And the way he helped search for her, pretended to console me when he knew where she was, well, that made it hard for me to trust anybody."

The doctor nodded. "Once trust is broken, it's hard to reclaim it. It causes a chain reaction in the way you view other people in your life."

"Suddenly, I didn't trust my parents or my brother." Edward squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "I didn't trust myself."

"And what actions did you take when you felt that way?"

"I thought I would run."

"I'm sorry, run?" Dr. Brennan frowned as he wrote on his notepad.

"Leave town. I wanted to leave without my daughter so that I couldn't hurt her anymore."

"The first thing I hear is that you're using past tense. You don't feel like running anymore?"

Edward shook his head. "Not since I confided in a friend and she told me it was cowardly to run."

"I see."

"I was drinking too much, wallowing too much, I guess. She set me straight. I realized I didn't want to leave anyone, least of all my own daughter."

The doctor scribbled again. "That you recognized there are people that need you is good. What else has happened?"

"Maggie went back to school today. It was hard to let her be out of my sight and in the care of others."

"How are you dealing with that?"

Edward chuckled. "I decided today was a good day to be here."

"You know that she's in a safe place. She's well taken care of, right?" At Edward's nod, he continued. "It feels monumental, no doubt."

"It does."

"I bet you handle anxiety better than you think you do."

"I used to, before she was taken. I suffered panic attacks while she was missing and for months after she was found. Then I felt weak and useless."

Dr. Brennan held up a hand. "You are not weak or useless. You might have been scared, confused, worried, and stressed. Stress manifests itself in many ways, depending on the person. You have the right to worry about your daughter until you're both old."

Edward smiled.

"Is there anything else you'd like to add?"

"Um, this friend, Bella . . . my brother brought it to my attention that she's interested in me as more than a friend."

"You said you're still grieving for your wife. So, what are your feelings on this matter?"

He couldn't help the quick grin. "We sort of spent the weekend together. My daughter was sick and I called Bella for company. I asked her how she felt, and she basically told me to put two and two together. We, um, went to the cemetery yesterday and had a nice visit."

"In what way?"

Edward shifted on the couch to get more comfortable. "Maggie has always spoken to her mother when we go to the cemetery, and Bella did the same. She said she was asking permission to make me happy. It felt right. Like, I don't know, like something had loosened up in my chest. And I heard . . ."

"Heard what?" Dr. Brennan prompted when Edward trailed off.

"I swear I'm not crazy, but I heard my wife's voice. I think she'd be okay with me moving on now. It's been long enough; too long."

"I can tell you that grief has its own timetable, Edward. There's no easy method or chart that fits all people. You feel what you feel." He scratched his chin. "If you're ready to move on, then the time is right. If you're not ready, you can't push it without being unhappy."

"I don't know how to know. Bella is attractive, and she's very good with my daughter. She's patient with me, but she also tells me how it is without sugarcoating it. I feel good when I'm with her; like I can relax and be myself. She's the one who kept pushing me to come to therapy."

Dr. Brennan smiled. "Then it sounds like we'd get along."

"She seems to get along with everyone."

"Here's the bottom line; you have to move at your own pace. Regardless of what others may say, it's okay if you're not ready after five years. Having said that, you have to evaluate why you think you are or aren't ready. Is it because you don't like change? Is it because you're scared to do something new? Are you moving forward because you were nagged into it, but you still feel uncomfortable even after agreeing? It has to be right for you and you alone; not your brother, your parents, or even Bella. We do need to push ourselves, but not so hard that we're unhappy. If this is right for you, then you'll know you can move forward."

"I think I understand what you're saying." Edward ran his hands over his face. "For a while, I felt that Bella was the only one I could be completely honest with. She wasn't going to be disappointed in me, she wasn't going to be disgusted with my weaknesses. I thought that made her my friend and nothing more."

"I hope she is your friend. That's a good place to start."

"I think so, too. I worry"—he broke off with a snort—"about everything, if I'm being honest. I worry that whatever I might feel for Bella will never compare to what I felt for Beth. I'm afraid to put aside my feelings for Beth because I don't want to betray what we had."

"Feelings can be tricky sometimes. We cling to what was because it's known, and the unknown is scary. You don't have to stop loving the memory of your wife, but she's not here with us now. For your health and happiness, you have to evaluate your new relationships without the shroud of old feelings. Does that make sense?"

He thought about it for long moments. Was that something he could do? He sure as hell didn't want to bring Beth into his developing relationship with Bella. "When I got married, I thought I would live out my days with Beth. It's hard to move past the idea of that."

"Just remember the vows state 'til death do we part.' You are alive, and it can be tough to reconcile facts with emotions. I will reiterate that your feelings are always valid. As long as you're not considering self-harm or hurting others, let your feelings be what they are. A few times a day, take a moment to evaluate them and accept them. Is there anything else you wish to discuss before the end of our session?"

Edward shook his head. "I don't think so."

"All right." Dr. Brennan closed his notebook and stood. "Be sure to stop by the reception desk to make another appointment."

"Thank you." Edward shook the doctor's hand before leaving the room.

He thought about the appointment on the way home. He liked Dr. Brennan. He didn't feel like he was being told he was crazy, more like he was being told it was okay to mess up sometimes. Like there was hope for him, even if he might need more help along the way. Considering what Bella had gone through and how therapy had helped her, Edward figured it couldn't hurt to attend more sessions.

Since it was almost lunchtime when he got back to Forks, he stopped at the diner in town. He spotted Sergeant Whitlock's vehicle in the parking lot and decided he would say hello before getting his lunch.

He found him settling his bill at the counter. "Jasper, it's good to see you."

Jasper turned from the register and gave Edward a tight smile. "I was going to call you when I got back to the station. You want to save me some trouble and sit with me for a minute?"

"Sure."

Though tension rolled through his gut and down to his toes, he followed Jasper to a booth in the back. The two of them sat, and Edward shook his head when the waitress came over. She retreated, and Edward faced Jasper squarely.

"I'm going to assume it's not good news."

"Your optimism is blinding, Edward."

Edward shrugged. "Odds are I'm right."

"Well, first off, the date has been set for Ben. You'll be there, yeah?"

"I'll be there."

Jasper nodded. "Second, you know Angela was in the wind?"

"I know that nobody has heard from her, yes." Edward fidgeted with the napkin holder. "She's been found?"

"Hiding out at the house of her cousin's friend. We got a heads up from King County Sheriff's department. Chief Swan and I picked her up this morning, just got back a little bit ago."

"And?"

"And it looks like she's going to be charged as an accessory."

Edward tried to process the words. "Angela knew."

Jasper nodded slowly. "She knew."

"And she let my baby rot, same as he did." He tucked his hands under the table as they tightened into fists.

"She claims she tried to convince him to come clean but he threatened her. She is pregnant, he wasn't lying about that. Her defense is that she felt unsafe." Jasper looked at Edward with sympathy in his eyes.

"She'll get away, won't she?"

"It's possible. Depends on plenty of factors. She poses a flight risk now, so Chief and I have to decide what to do with her, being pregnant and all."

"You can't let her get away with it." There was a red wash over his vision, and he blinked to focus on the sergeant.

"If I can help it, she won't, but you know it isn't up to me."

"No, it isn't up to you. Or me."

Jasper ran his tongue along his teeth for a second. "Chief says he'd like to talk to you whenever. You want me to tell him you'll stop by after you eat?"

"Official business?"

Jasper grinned and shook his head. "Nah."

Edward almost laughed. "I guess I can swing by, then."

"Okay." Jasper stood, rested his hand on Edward's shoulder. "Take care of yourself and don't do anything I'll have to arrest you for."

"I promise."

"Your pretty face wouldn't last long in jail."

Edward snorted.

* * *

**I didn't originally plan on writing out the session, but sometimes ideas take over.**


	25. Chapter 24

**Not surprisingly, none of you have any sympathy for Angela.**

* * *

Edward paced his brother's kitchen while he waited for Rose to come back from putting Bree down for a nap. He needed to tell her about Angela; they'd been as close as he and Ben. It would suck to let her down, but better him than someone else.

"Okay, Edward, I'm all yours. What's up?" Rose opened the refrigerator and pulled out a jug of orange juice.

"It's not good news, Rose."

She paused in reaching for a glass and looked back at him over her shoulder. "Is it about the case?"

At his nod, she abandoned the juice and sat at the table by the window. Winter sun slanted in through the panes and set her golden hair on fire.

"I spoke to Jasper. Angela has been found and brought in."

Rose stared at him for several moments. "Brought in and released?"

He shook his head as he answered. "No, brought in and detained. Chief Swan is charging her as an accessory."

She went pale enough that he reached over and took her hand in his. "An accessory means she helped him do that to Maggie?"

"They don't think she physically helped him, but at some point before Maggie was found, Angela knew where she was." When her hand trembled, he squeezed it. "She claims Ben threatened her, that she felt unsafe. And she's pregnant, as he told me."

"That's a terrible excuse for what they did." Rose stood abruptly, pacing the kitchen. "Maybe with someone else, I could believe that sob story and even feel sorry for them. Maybe with someone else, I could agree that their husband was going to hurt them and they felt scared."

"But not them."

"No, not them." She sank back down in her chair.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I know exactly how you feel."

"You do, out of everyone. You know what the betrayal feels like." She sighed.

"It doesn't help, I know, but there's no use blaming yourself."

"I can try. I know it's been difficult for you to work past Ben's deceit."

He looked out the window at the bare limbs of the trees. "I saw a therapist today, and I want to work through it all. I can finally move forward from Beth's death, but I can't move on from what Ben did. Not without help."

"That's what they're for, so good for you."

Edward focused on her again and smiled. "Where's Emmett today?"

"Working."

"Good. He said he might get back to it, but I wasn't about to rush him. You two take all the time you need."

Rose got up and went back to pouring herself a glass of juice. "Sweetie, he wants to work. It makes him happy, and he knows the company needs to get back on its feet."

"I should get over there myself, but Jasper said the chief wants to see me."

Rose lifted a brow at him. "About what?"

"It's apparently personal. Maybe he wants to threaten me into treating his daughter with respect."

Rose laughed at that. "I'd love to be a fly on the wall."

"I don't even know what the hell I'm doing, Rose."

"I know Emmett gave you advice and, for once, I agree with him. He isn't a total buffoon. If something ever happened to me and he was left to raise Bree alone, I'd expect him to move on." She narrowed her eyes. "Now, if he found some eighteen-year-old before the grass grew over my grave, I'd come back to haunt him."

Edward laughed. "I think we can agree I let the grass grow over me."

She tilted her head in contemplation. "Maybe, but you had to be ready. I'd struggle, Edward, if I was in your shoes. I wouldn't know what to do."

He shrugged. "It's not easy to think that I could come to love Bella."

"There's room in that heart of yours, Edward. If you had another child, you wouldn't love Maggie less in order to love the new one."

"Don't you think that's apples to oranges?"

Rose sipped her juice. "Maybe."

Still, it gave him something to think about when he left. He drove to the police station with some small sense of trepidation. He wasn't in the mindset to defend himself to someone's father, or to explain what he couldn't even put into words. He thought it would have been a better idea to meet the chief in a different capacity.

"Edward Cullen to see Chief Swan," he told the person behind the desk.

"Just a second."

Edward sat down in the closest plastic chair. The entire building was brown, from the walls to the chairs to the carpet. It almost had a log cabin feel to it.

"Edward," he heard, and looked up to see the chief coming toward him.

He stood and held out his hand. "Hello, Chief."

"Come on back," Chief Swan said after they'd shaken hands.

Edward vaguely remembered the scene in Jasper's office months before and found himself feeling twitchy. He followed along down the hallway until they reached a door with _Police Chief Charles Swan_ written on it.

Edward took a seat again as Swan sat behind the desk crowded with paperwork and old pictures of Bella.

"Edward, thanks for coming. I know this might be a little awkward, but I just wanted to chat with you unofficially."

"I understand." He wiped sweaty palms on his jeans.

"Bella tells me you two discussed Marcus to some extent."

"Yes, sir."

"You don't have to call me sir, Edward. Charlie is fine."

Edward consciously relaxed his shoulders. "We talked about what happened enough for me to understand why she went into therapy and why she felt the need to help out with Maggie's disappearance."

"That's all?"

"I didn't want to hear exact details because what went on in my family is too fresh at the moment. I imagine we'll discuss it more in the future."

"So you do plan on there being a future with Bella?"

_Now begins the fifth degree_. "Yes, I believe there will be. I'm slow to move and working on not comparing Bella to my deceased wife, but I want to make the effort."

"Okay. I want to make sure you understand where I'm coming from without violating Bella's trust. Has she discussed her one and only boyfriend with you?"

"Only as far as to say it wasn't a healthy relationship and she briefly went back into therapy over it."

Charlie nodded. "Then I won't say more about it. You're responsible, and she's grown plenty since then. I just don't want to see her get into trouble."

"With all due respect, shouldn't you have that conversation with her?"

"I have." Charlie steepled his fingers and leaned forward. "I won't be issuing any threats, Edward. I want you to know I like you. I'd love for you to come to the house sometime and meet Renée, but I'll leave that sort of invitation up to Bella. Just keep in mind that I'm on your side and hers."

That was an odd way to put it, but Edward merely stood and offered his hand again. "I appreciate it, Charlie. I really need to be meeting Maggie's school bus."

"Of course."

The chief had given him more to think about. His curiosity was piqued when it came to whoever Bella had dated at twenty. She'd only briefly touched on it, but it was clearly a slip she'd had to recover from. They didn't have plans in the coming days, but he'd told her he'd call her soon.

Was it too impatient of him to want to see her again so soon? They'd spent two days together, yet he wanted to be with her again. His parents would be home that evening, so he didn't want to invite her over. He needed to be with Maggie after she'd been gone all day, so going out was out of the question.

He'd settle for calling her once Maggie was in bed.

He was there when the bus came around the corner, and the shiver that ran up his spine couldn't be helped. He got out and stood by the car as the bus stopped and let out a few kids. Maggie ran to him, and everything fell away as he saw her so strong and healthy.

"Maggie!"

"Daddy! I had so much fun! Miss Alice let us paint today and I made a picture for you."

"That's sweet. You can show it to me as soon as we get home, okay?"

Once she was fastened in and they were on their way, Maggie continued to tell him about everything that had happened to her. She'd clearly missed her friends.

He made her a snack while she pulled out the painting she'd made. It was his parents' house with the family standing in front of it.

"This is me, and this is Grandma and Grandpa." She pointed. "This is Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose; she's holding Bree."

"Bree is purple."

"She's _wearing_ purple, Daddy."

He squinted. "Oh."

"And here's you and Bella."

His breath caught in his throat. "You like Bella, don't you?"

"More than Miss Alice."

That was saying a lot, since Alice was pretty much her favorite non-family member. "Okay."

"Is she coming over tonight?"

"What? No. She was here all weekend."

"Oh." She sounded sad about it.

"But Grandma and Grandpa will be home in time for dinner."

"Yay!"

They spent a noisy few hours while Maggie did her math homework. Edward made dinner and greeted his parents warmly when they got back. Maggie started her discourse about school all over again, and Edward left the room for a few minutes of peace.

Idly, he wished for a drink, but knew he wouldn't succumb. He didn't like the person he was when he drank, and he figured it would take a while before he went back to a casual beer after work. Instead, he went to the back door and stared out at the darkened yard. There was a sliver of moon visible through the wisps of clouds, and Edward kept his eyes on it.

The trial for Ben was coming up soon. It would take months, he knew. He didn't like the idea of taking time off from work when he'd already missed so much, but he would be there. There wasn't anything that could keep him away from watching Ben squirm; seeing him sentenced and put away was something he wanted very much.

Maggie found him minutes later and asked for her bedtime routine. He imagined she was worn out after an entire day at school. After all, she'd just recovered from the stomach flu and hadn't been in school in four months.

When Maggie was tucked in bed and he'd read her three stories—he couldn't resist the way she begged him for _just one more_—he went to his room and closed the door. He called Bella, hoping she'd be around.

"Edward?"

He imagined he heard warmth in her tone, but he couldn't be sure. "Hi, Bella."

"Hi."

"I didn't call at a bad time, did I?" He sat on his bed and leaned against the headboard.

"No, I was just cleaning."

"I saw your dad today." Edward scratched the back of his head. "He said he likes me."

She snickered. "That's a relief. What would we have done if he disapproved?"

"Personally, I'd have bought a bullet-proof vest."

They both laughed. "It's just because I haven't done a stellar job in the dating world. He worries."

"He said something about that, but he wanted to give you the chance to tell me about what went on."

Bella sighed. "You've met my ex, believe it or not. He's a better person now than he was then."

He frowned. "Who is it?"

"Jake Black. The stepson of the Quileute chief that handled the search for Maggie."

Edward groaned a little. "I didn't like the chief because I thought it was one of them and she was covering it up. I even thought that maybe it was her stepson."

"He's younger than I am, and, well, being such a late bloomer, I thought I had things to prove. I needed him to love me, to approve of me, and that wasn't going to happen while I was the perfect policeman's daughter."

"What sorts of things, Bella?"

He heard rustling on the other end and then she spoke. "You're sure you want to do this now?"

"I've got nowhere to be."

"Okay. Other than sex in places like my parents' bed when they weren't home and First Beach; pot, which he got from friends, and I stole."

Edward sucked in a sharp breath. "You stole what?"

"Little things. He'd dare me to go into the store on the reservation and take something. It usually didn't matter what, just a candy bar or a drink or something stupid." She sighed again. "The owner caught me one day when I was about to put a soda can in my jacket and asked if I would like to pay for it or let him call my daddy."

"Jeez, Bella." He dropped his head back. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that my parents never recovered from losing Marcus. They were always gone, always working. When we were in the same room, it was stiflingly silent. I needed attention, and I sought it in the worst way. I know what I did was wrong, and I repaid the store owner for what I thought was the total for what I'd taken. I broke up with Jake and went back to therapy. I begged my parents to go, to find their own or come to mine. They refused."

"It makes so much sense when you explain it."

"They don't have a good marriage, but they don't want to get a divorce. They simply exist in the same house when they aren't working. One of the things I had to do for my own mental health was get a place of my own. It made a massive difference in my life."

He thought for a few moments about a young woman trapped in a house with parents so lost in grief they ignored each other and their only surviving child. "It explains why I've never seen your mother and father together."

"They need help, but they won't listen to me." Bella groaned. "This conversation wasn't a very good way to seduce you."

"Uh, well, we're getting to know each other." He hadn't thought about being seduced. Was that something she'd been trying to do?

"I'm mostly teasing, Edward. I wouldn't expect anything like phone sex when we haven't officially had a date yet."

"S-speaking of which," he stammered. His face was flaming. "I wanted to ask if you were interested in going somewhere together on Saturday. Just you and me."

"Now that's a plan I can get behind." He heard the grin in her voice. "What did you have in mind?"

"I haven't dated since the drive-in was open. What do you want to do?"

"Hmm. Something easy like a movie? Even if it has to be at the Cineplex."

Edward thought about it. "It might sound cheesy, but do you like to roller skate?"

"Won't Maggie be mad you went without her?"

He chuckled. "She doesn't like roller skating."

"Oh," she laughed. "Then it sounds like a date."

"Yeah . . . a date."


	26. Chapter 25

He wasn't as much nervous to go out with Bella as he was excited. He needed to get out, to do something for himself. He felt as if he'd turned a page, that he could be happy and not second guess his feelings.

Well, at least not as much as he did. Baby steps.

Maggie was happy he was going to have fun with Bella, and not jealous that they were roller skating without her. She'd never mastered it, and would much rather do something with her grandfather, anyway.

Edward wanted to see Bella's place, but he wanted to wait for her to be comfortable enough to invite him. He hoped that was where the day would end, if he was being honest with himself, and that gave him a whole new set of things to worry about.

So he chose to push it aside, instead. As he was getting dressed, he took a moment to evaluate his feelings. Nervous, excited, and anticipatory. Those were things he could live with.

Since Maggie had left with his dad a half hour before, he went in search of Esme to tell her he was leaving. He found her reading in the living room.

"Mom."

She looked up at him. "Edward, you look nice."

He shifted his feet. "Thanks. I plan to be back in time to tuck Maggie into bed."

She smiled broadly. "You shouldn't."

He barely resisted rolling his eyes. "Mom—"

"Edward. Take your time. Carlisle and I will handle Maggie. Have fun."

He was positive he was blushing. "Bye," he muttered.

The roller rink was right next to the tiny strip mall in the center of town. He'd spent time there as a teenager, but he and Beth hadn't had any dates there. It was neutral as far as their small town went, and he figured it was only fair to give that to Bella.

When Bella was at his house, he discovered she drove an ancient pickup truck. It was undoubtedly the same age as his parents, but it somehow suited her perfectly. It was in the lot, and he saw exhaust pouring out of the tailpipe. He walked up to the driver's side and waved so he wouldn't startle her. She opened the door immediately, and the sound of the engine cutting off caused a ringing silence.

"Edward, hi!"

She threw her arms around him, and he held on. She smelled damn good, and her hair was down around her shoulders the way he liked it. Her body was warm under her coat, and he almost didn't want to let her go.

"Hi, Bella." He smiled down at her and took her hand to lead her inside. He noticed how it fit perfectly in his.

"My week was boring as hell. What about yours?" she asked as they stepped into the warmth of the rink.

The smell brought back his high school days. "It was pretty good, actually. We have two more orders, and Emmett has been back every day. We finished one of the other orders and he got it delivered. Rose's temp replacement is working out perfectly. Maggie had a fantastic week, though she's been a little tired. She's having Grandpa time right now."

He quit talking when he realized he'd developed word vomit, but Bella tugged on his hand so he'd stop walking. He looked down at her, and the smile she gave him transformed her face. Where he'd noticed before that she was pretty, her huge, genuine smile made her gorgeous.

"Can I just . . ." He lowered his head, looking back and forth between her eyes for any sign of hesitance. When he saw none, he tentatively touched his lips to hers. A tremor went down his spine when she wrapped her arms around him again, pulling on the back of his neck to hold him closer.

He pulled away before he did something stupid in the middle of a public place, but didn't let her go.

"That felt great," she whispered. Her eyes twinkled.

He grinned. "I can't believe I just kissed you for the first time at the Forks Roller Rink, but I agree it was pretty amazing."

"I realized how content you sounded by an ordinary week, and it touched me that you've reached a place of acceptance. You're ready to be happy."

"I'm ready to give it a try, that's for sure."

They smiled at each other for another moment before moving on to get skates. They sat on a bench in front of a bank of lockers to put them on, and all Edward could think about was how long it had been since he'd been skating. There was no way to know if it was going to be a success after so many years, but he was willing to give it a shot.

It turned out Bella was a much better skater than he was. He'd lost some of his muscle memory, or something. He kept stumbling and using the wall to catch himself.

Finally, Bella held out her hands and started moving backward. He could remember a time when he was able to do that; maybe ten years ago. He held onto her because it felt nice, and they went around a few times without incident. There were a few families there, a few kids alone, and that was what caused the problem in the long run. One of the lone kids went blasting onto the floor too fast, looking like he was asking for a broken ankle. When he came flying at Bella and Edward, there was no time to react.

He plowed into their outstretched arms at full speed, causing them both to lose their balance. Bella recovered and reached for Edward again, but it was too late for him. He went down in a tangle of his legs and hers, inevitably taking her down with him.

An employee sauntered over and snatched up the kid by the back of his shirt. "I told you before you can't be here without your mom. Who let you in?"

The kid was crying and appeared to be bleeding, and Edward could see the other man softening before his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked. She pulled her legs away from his so he could stand.

"Yeah, but I'm going to feel like I need a body cast by morning. Are you okay?"

She flexed her arm. "I hit my elbow, but it wasn't on the floor, it was on you."

"Well, I'm good and soft, so you'll be okay."

She snorted. "No, Edward, I promise you're hard in all the right places."

He was pretty sure all the blood had drained from his head. "Um, well." He cleared his throat. "I think I'm ready to go if you are."

She gave him that megawatt smile again. "I am."

They gathered their belongings from the locker after changing their skates for shoes. Edward held her hand on the way out, feeling the brisk chill of early March smacking them in the face.

"Would you like to come to my house?" she asked.

"Yes," he answered a little too quickly.

She laughed at his eagerness. "I have the perfect recipe for hot chocolate if you're interested."

"I'm interested."

He followed her down Pine St. to a cottage-style house set back from the road. It was the sort of place he would have pictured her in if he'd tried to picture her in anything.

"It's an old carriage house. I rent from Mrs. Cope; she works at the elementary school."

He nodded. "I know her."

"It's been in her family for generations. It's only one room, unless you count the bathroom. There used to be a main house in front of it, but it was condemned years ago and torn down."

She let him inside as she spoke. It was quaint, he decided, and it smelled of her. There was a couch and a coffee table, and the bed was on the other side of a decorative dividing screen. A black and orange calico cat wound its way around his legs as he walked in.

"That's Rum Tum Tugger," Bella informed him.

"From Cats?"

"Yep."

"I like it."

Pleased, she smiled at him. The kitchen was along one wall and could only be classified as such due to the dollhouse-size stove. Otherwise, he wouldn't have known what to call it. The cat followed her, meowing as she opened a cabinet and took out a bag of cat food.

"You can sit and I'll make the hot chocolate."

"Okay."

He saw the tiny bathroom through the open door and went in there first to wash his hands and face. He was sore from the fall, but nothing he couldn't handle. Her entire place was tidy, almost to a fault; there was nothing out of place. He supposed it would be hard to be messy in such a tiny place.

He went back out and sat on the couch. The cat jumped up onto the cushion next to him and leaned forward to sniff his arm.

"He's very friendly. I call him Tugger for short."

"No Mister Mistoffelees for you?"

She shot him a grin over her shoulder as she measured something into a pot. "When a cat adopts you, he gets the name he gets."

"He adopted you?" He stroked a hand down Tugger's back and was rewarded with loud purring.

"He kept showing up at my door. He was thin and dirty, and no one answered the flyers I put up." She shrugged. "If he'd been a tuxedo cat, he would have certainly been Mister Mistoffelees."

Edward found himself smiling down at the cat. "You're a sweet thing, aren't you?"

"Be careful; he's not declawed. He gets excited sometimes and he'll put his claws in your leg."

"We had a dog when we were young, but we never replaced him."

Bella came toward him with two steaming mugs. She set them on coasters on the coffee table and picked up Tugger, depositing him gently on the floor and sitting next to Edward.

"What? He's in my spot," she said when Edward looked closely at her.

"No, it's just that . . . now that we've spent time together, I can't . . . I can't stop thinking about how it would feel to kiss you some more."

"I'm not about to complain, Edward."

He watched her eyes as he ran his hands down her hair, something he'd wanted to do for a long time. It felt as soft and thick as he'd expected it would. He pushed it behind her shoulders and cupped her cheek, still looking into her eyes. She sat patiently, letting him guide their interaction. He found he couldn't stop touching her face; her jaw to her ear, and back to her cheek, he caressed her skin and finally leaned in to kiss her.

Her lips were slightly parted this time, and he let himself go. He didn't need to be so restrained in private as he was in public. His eyes slipped closed so his other senses heightened. The feel of her hand as it reached for the back of his neck, her warm body pressing closer to his. The beat of his heart in his ears as he moved his lips across hers. The chocolate was a subtle scent, but it reached him nonetheless. He heard the low moan in her throat and the sound of the wind as it picked up outside.

He tilted his head to try a different angle. Bella moved forward again, pressing against him until she was nearly in his lap. He gripped her hips, entirely aware of how hard he'd become.

"Bella," he said against her mouth.

"Mm."

"You can't imagine how much I want you right now."

She eased back. "That's a good thing."

He didn't let go of her hips. "It is, but at the same time . . ."

"It's too fast?"

He nodded. "But, uh, I wouldn't mind if you came back over here and let me kiss you some more."

She grinned and leaned in to kiss his cheek. "How about some of that hot chocolate, some conversation, and then more making out?"

"I can get on board with that." He didn't let her go, though. She ran her tongue along the underside of his jaw and he moaned as flames sparked low in his belly.

From her hips, he moved his palms up her back, holding her tightly to him. Her nipples brushed against his chest, their hardness a clear indicator that she was turned on, too. He curled his fingers over her shoulders and leaned down to nip along her neck, finding her pulse beating rapidly under his lips. Her breathing became more erratic as he lowered her to the arm of the couch and shifted to find the sensitive skin of her collarbones. He touched her sides, letting instinct guide him as he ran his fingers under her shirt. He didn't go much further than skimming along the underside of her bra before he pulled her to a sitting position once more.

Edward touched his forehead to Bella's, his panting breaths matching hers. "I guess I lied."

She chuckled. "I don't mind, Edward. Whatever pace you're comfortable with, I am too."

"I swear it's not because I've had an epic dry spell."

Laughing again, she ran her hands through his hair and backed up enough to see his expression. "Maybe a little?"

"It's you. I haven't noticed a woman in five years, but you knock me off balance."

"I'll catch you if you fall."

"I'm counting on it." Once more, he found her mouth with his. He risked sliding his tongue between her lips, and she rewarded him with a rumbling moan.

His body was lit from within, needing to be close to Bella in all ways. They'd known each other for months, but it was their first date. He tried to remind himself that it mattered, but he didn't care very much at the moment.

He pulled away and ran a hand over his face. "I thought I was looking for a sign, something to tell me this was the right thing to do. I don't know what I expected, really. I felt a connection from the moment you led me in the hospital room to see my daughter, I just didn't know what it was."

"I'm not perfect, and I'm not your guardian angel. I'm guaranteed to mess something up along the way. Just don't put me on a pedestal, Edward, that's all I ask."

"I want the chance to be happy. I've repeated that enough that I guess you know it. I'm not a casual type of guy, Bella. I'm not anywhere near the point of asking you to make a commitment, I just want you to know that I don't work any other way." He sighed. "I don't want to overwhelm you."

"You sure go from negative one hundred to a thousand in the blink of an eye." Bella kissed him quickly on the mouth. "I've spent enough time around you to know that about you. I've had months to ponder what I would do if you finally noticed how much I like you. We aren't a traditional couple that's going to date for months and decide if we're right for each other. I get that."

"It sounds so heavy when you say it out loud," he said with another sigh.

"It's okay. You've had plenty of heavy in your life. You don't need to worry about how I'm going to handle this. You've pushed me away for months, and I understand why. I had to lead you more than once, and that's okay, too. I knew what I wanted, and it's you. You didn't realize it then, and maybe you still don't, but you're worth it, Edward. You're worth the waiting and the pushing and whatever work I have to put in."

He brushed her hair off her face. "If I panic and pull away, don't give up on me. I'm not sure how I'll deal with any of this going forward. I'm afraid of hurting you."

"You might hurt me, and I might hurt you. What relationship worth having doesn't have mistakes and some pain? I won't do it on purpose, and neither will you." Bella picked up the mugs and handed one to Edward.

"I stand by my suggestion that you become a therapist."

She just laughed.

* * *

**What do we think of their date?**

**If you aren't following MissLiss15, she started a new bad boy Edward story called Diamond in the Rough. He's fresh out of prison and Bella is fresh from college when they run into each other. It's promising to be absolutely yummy.**

**I'm also reading (w)riteofpassion by PearlyFox. Bella meets Edward in a game chat room and then they text, then they Skype... and things heat up. It's a fun ride that updates every few days.  
**

**What are you reading?**


	27. Chapter 26

**It makes me happy that you loved their date. **

* * *

They stood in her tiny kitchen making dinner, bumping into each other on purpose. Edward felt frisky enough to try out the idea of touching her when he wanted, which, not surprisingly, was all the time.

Once their food was in the oven, he pulled Bella into his embrace. "I like this stage of our relationship."

"The one where we kiss a lot?"

His response was to lean down and kiss her. Yes, he liked the idea of being more relaxed around Bella. She stretched up to her toes and played with the hair at the back of his neck as he tangled his tongue with hers. She was everything soft and right in his world at the moment.

Heat spread throughout his body and he welcomed it with open arms. How was it he'd forgotten what it felt like? The way a woman fit against a man, the breathless anticipation, needing to be as close as possible and missing their presence when they stepped away.

It was a heady rush to change angles, to pull her hips tightly to his body and feel the way she rubbed over his erection. He feared he'd never rid himself of the damn thing in her presence, but it was a small price to pay. The feelings he experienced reminded him of his early days with Beth; less cautious than he'd become in the past six years.

When the timer went off, they were both more than a little worked up. Bella backed up with a grin on her face, her lips red and her hair mussed. She reached for hot pads and nudged him out of the kitchen to open the oven. The scent of their dinner was enough to capture his attention, and they soon sat at the table she had pushed against the back side of the counter.

Once they'd each had a few bites, Bella asked, "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Maggie's been asking about a certain brunette. She wants to know if we can all do something together."

Bella looked pensive as she took a bite. "Well," she said after swallowing. "Dad asked if I could bring you over sometime. Would tomorrow be too soon for Maggie to meet my parents?"

"Do they realize what this entails?"

"That they're essentially gaining a granddaughter?" she clarified.

"Essentially," he agreed. "Can I trust that they'll want her in their lives once we make introductions? She already has one set of grandparents that can barely be bothered with her, she doesn't need another. You said your parents still struggle with what happened to your brother."

"Their marriage is far from what I would consider ideal, but I'm no longer privy to what goes on over there. Dad said he wanted to meet her, and Mom has been dying to meet you for months now. That transfers to Maggie. They love kids, they have a need to be a family even if it's not rainbows and sunshine, and I think it's fair to say they'll treat her appropriately."

He nodded. "I respect them for not throwing in the towel during a tough situation. They make it work for them, I suppose. I'm sure we can go over for a little while."

She pushed food around on her plate. "Are you thinking like dinner and running out, or more like the afternoon followed by dinner?"

He almost laughed; she knew him so well. "It wouldn't be polite to run out, but I don't know if I'd be comfortable with several hours. So, maybe the three of us can do something first, and then head to your parents' for dinner."

"That sounds like a good compromise."

They went back to the couch after he helped her do the dishes. He played with the ends of Bella's hair as he told her of his and Jasper's conversation about Angela.

"Surprisingly, I handled it well. I relayed the information to Rose, and I comforted her. I didn't curl into a ball or drink until I blacked out."

"How did Rose take the news?"

Edward dropped his hand to his lap. "Fairly well. I know she's hurting, but she's not prone to outbursts. She likely cried on Emmett's shoulder, and I know we haven't heard the last from her on the subject. They were as close as me and Ben, and she loves Maggie as much as her own daughter."

"She's not going to be able to let it slide." She picked his hand up and held it between her own.

"No, I imagine she'll want to confront Angela. That's how I feel about Ben; the need to make him tell me the real reason he did it is strong."

"It's natural when someone betrays you to want to know why, but he might not ever tell you." She shrugged. "He might not know himself. If, as he says, it was a crime borne of circumstances, he believes his actions are justified."

He was quiet for several moments as he processed what she said. "I need to face him at least once more, to let him know he isn't going to get away with it and that I'm okay."

"That's reasonable."

He watched as she reached out to trace her fingertip over his lower lip. He wanted things he wasn't used to wanting. "Bella," he warned.

"Edward," she responded in the same tone of voice.

"Once upon a time, I wasn't so slow moving. I went after what I wanted with gusto. Beth, a carpentry apprenticeship, our house, the shop. But, once I had what I'd worked so hard for, I realized how much responsibility it entailed. I had to think more carefully before I acted if I wanted to keep the business open, or to make our mortgage payments." He took a deep breath. "It only got worse when Maggie was born. I was in charge of an entire life. Beth began to poke fun at me, to tell me I was as slow as a turtle."

"And when it was just you and Maggie, you had to be even more cautious," Bella stated.

He nodded. "It wasn't even a conscious decision. I weighed my options very carefully before coming to a decision, and then I plotted and planned everything to the nth degree."

"And now?"

Edward smiled as he pulled her hand back to his mouth and swirled his tongue over the pad of her finger. "And now, I want to get back to the Edward I used to be. At least, to an extent."

Bella gasped when he put her finger in his mouth and sucked on it. "I think that's an interesting idea." Her breath hitched on the last word.

"But?"

"But, you said it was too soon. Don't lose yourself because you're rediscovering old emotions."

He grinned. "You're too smart for me."

She chuckled. "Maybe I am. I don't want you to regret anything tomorrow because I let you get carried away today."

"I'll try not to. Come here for a minute."

He groaned when she climbed right in his lap; he gripped her hips to hold her still. She lowered her head and touched her lips to his in a gentle kiss.

"Edward, I'm going to do my best to show you how to love again." Her kiss changed to something that drew from deep within her body. Despite the caution she'd warned, she sunk into his embrace and rocked against him. Only when his moan became tinged with desperation did she pull back.

"Sorry, I guess I don't have as much restraint as I thought I did." She climbed off his lap and sat on the other end of the couch.

He scrubbed his hands over his face. "If anyone has the chance of making me fall in love again, Bella, it's you." He brushed her hair off her face. "I'm more than halfway there. Being your friend first has meant the world to me."

"I . . ." She swallowed.

"What is it?"

She shook her head. "It's gotten very late, Edward."

Bella stood and backed to the door. Edward got up and followed her, stopping to stand in front of her. "It's always okay for you to say what you feel, Bella. Even if I'm not able to reciprocate yet."

She closed her eyes. "I can't bear to say it out loud and not hear it in return. I'd rather wait."

"Thank you for being honest." He kissed her softly one last time. "I'll call you after lunch, okay?"

She nodded but kept her lips pressed together.

**HoS**

"Maggie, come on!"

Edward waited impatiently at the base of the stairs for his daughter to come down. When she finally appeared, she had on leggings, a skirt, a long-sleeved shirt, a hat, and a pink beaded necklace.

"Are you finally ready?"

She grinned as she jumped off the last step. "Ready Freddy!"

He chuckled and shook his head. He knew it was only going to take her longer to get ready as she got older. He ushered Maggie out to the car so they could meet up with Bella.

"When is it going to get warmer, Daddy?"

"Soon, I hope. In a few weeks, maybe." He glanced at her scowl in the rear-view mirror. "It's warm enough for the playground, don't you think?"

"I s'pose."

"You've been begging to see Bella for a week, sweetheart."

"I know, and it's taking _so long_ to get there!"

He rolled his eyes since she couldn't see him. None of that had anything to do with her changing her clothes three times, of course.

They pulled into the parking lot of the playground and saw that Bella was already there. Edward parked next to her and felt the same anticipation his daughter must. They climbed out and he let Maggie race off to where Bella sat on a bench.

She looked up at Maggie's approach and rose to greet her. "Mags!"

"Bella!" Maggie threw her arms around Bella. "Look, I got a necklace yesterday when I was with Grandpa. Did you and Daddy have fun roller skating? He says you had fun, but you fell. I don't like to roller skate because I fall down, too. Don't feel bad for falling, 'kay? You're good at lots of things."

Edward was in awe of his daughter's ability to run her mouth, but he should be used to it by that point. "Bella, hi."

She grinned over Maggie's head. "Hi, yourself."

Bella lost her breath when he hugged her, too, and tried not to linger when he kissed her chastely.

"Why do grownups kiss all the time? Ooh, Bella, can I have a kiss, too?" She bounced on the balls of her feet until Bella leaned down and pecked her on the lips.

"Maggie, your necklace is really pretty, and I like your skirt."

"I'm mad it's not warm enough to wear it without pants." She stuck out her lower lip. "Daddy, will you go down the slide with me?"

"Yes, Magpie." She'd certainly earned her nickname based on the chattering bird.

He took Bella's hand and they went together to the playground. Maggie was already at the top of the slide when they got there, and he waited for her to slide down before he climbed with her.

They spent some time at the playground before they got in their vehicles and Edward followed Bella to her parents' house.

Renee opened the door and immediately pulled Bella into her embrace. "Bella, honey, it's so good to see you."

Bella stepped back and gestured behind her. "Mom, this is Edward, and this is Maggie."

"Mrs. Swan, it's nice to meet you." He held tight to Maggie's hand as she hid behind his leg.

"Oh, Lord, please just call me Renee. It's good to meet you, too, Edward." She squatted. "You must be Maggie. I'm Renee."

Maggie came halfway out from behind her father. "Is Bella's daddy a police officer like Mr. Jasper?"

Renee grinned. "He's the one in charge of all of them, even Mr. Jasper."

Maggie edged forward and put out her hand. "Can you shake my hand? I'm s'posed to be polite."

"What do you think about a hug, instead?"

Maggie pursed her lips and eyed Renee, then Bella. Bella nodded. "'Kay."

Renee opened her arms wide and Maggie threw hers around her neck. Renee patted her on the back.

"Are you my grandma now?" she asked as Renee straightened.

Edward gave Bella a pained look. She started to answer for her mother, but Renee cut her off.

"Only if you want me to be, Maggie. It's up to you what you call me and Bella's dad."

Maggie tilted her head. "Okay."

They shuffled inside with Maggie clinging to Bella's leg instead of Edward's. Charlie came out from a room off the hall. "Sorry, I had to work out an issue at the station. How are you, Edward?"

"I'm good, Charlie."

"Maggie, do you remember me from the hospital?" He, too, squatted down to her level.

"I don't remember your name, but you asked me a lot of questions."

"I'm Charlie. I heard you like apple pie."

Her eyes lit up. "It's my favorite!"

"Well, if you want, we can eat some dinner and then you can have pie. How does that sound?"

She came out from behind Bella and launched herself at Charlie, almost knocking him on his butt. "Yay!"

"It's safe to say they've won her over," Edward murmured.

* * *

**Thank you for the fic recs! I've added so many to my TBR.**


	28. Chapter 27

**You all had such great things to say about the last chapter! Thank you so much. **

* * *

"It wasn't too bad." Edward sat at the small table in his parents' kitchen with the mug he'd just filled. "We had some good conversations, and they were friendly the whole time."

"So Maggie liked them?"

Edward nodded at his father and stirred his coffee. "She did. She recognized Charlie. They had an apple pie, which didn't hurt, and Renee is great with her. They raised a girl, so I suppose it was natural for them."

Esme leaned until she could see out the kitchen door. Satisfied that Maggie wasn't within hearing distance, she looked at Edward. "And how are they together? If they have issues after what happened to their boy, do those issues still rear their heads?"

"I think they're used to putting on a smile every day, but I can't say how they're actually doing when it's only the two of them alone."

Esme sighed and sat at the table next to Edward. "I can't quite fathom it."

He shook his head. "Believe me, I spent plenty of time thinking about what I would do if that was the outcome for Maggie, and you wouldn't have been pleased with any of my choices. I can't blame them for doing the best they could, I just wish it'd been easier for Bella. They don't seem like a couple on the verge of a divorce, either, so it's possible things have improved."

"They take their vows seriously," Carlisle said. "Or so it seems."

"It takes work." Esme covered Carlisle's hand with her own. "I see Renee all the time at the hospital, and she's always warm with her employees."

"By all appearances, they're great people. All I need to know is whether they'll be good to Maggie. I believe they will, regardless of what might happen to them in the long term."

"I agree." Carlisle kissed Esme on the cheek as he got up and topped off his coffee.

"So," Esme began. "Maggie has mentioned that she wants Bella to stay in her life."

"She said that?" Edward asked, dubious that his daughter would use that phrasing.

She inclined her head. "Not in those exact words. It was more like wanting assurance that Bella will always come over and visit."

Edward hummed. "You saw the painting she did at school with Bella as part of the family. She loves her, and Bella reciprocates those feelings."

"Meaning there's nothing standing in the way of you and Bella being together." There was nothing but ticking silence as Edward stared at his mother.

Finally, he sighed. "Nothing but my own issues, Mom."

"You're going back to therapy today, aren't you?"

Edward stood and took his mug to the sink. "Yes, and I'll be sure to ask him what sort of timeline you can expect for a wedding and future grandchildren."

"Edward." It was a mild reproach, but Edward turned to face his father with frustration bubbling under his skin.

"What? That's what she's getting at, isn't it? When will Edward get his head out of the sand? I've made progress; isn't that enough?"

"Yes, it's enough." Esme rose and crossed the room to rest her hand on his forearm. "I didn't mean to imply you haven't made much progress. I want you and Maggie happy, that's all. Bella makes you both happy."

"Yes, she does. That doesn't mean I'm ready to propose after one date."

Esme nodded and dropped her hand. "I have to go to work."

"Mom," he said as she started to walk away. When she turned back, he sighed. "Thank you."

She gave him a small smile and left the room.

"I can see how you both feel," Carlisle said. "She wants you to be happy, and you don't want to be pressured."

"Pretty much."

"Well." Carlisle began loading the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher.

"Well, what?"

"Nothing."

Edward narrowed his eyes. "You're taking her side."

"I didn't say that."

"I'm happy, Dad. Can we just leave it at that?"

"Absolutely."

Edward very nearly groaned, but Maggie came into the kitchen and distracted him.

It wasn't until much later that he rolled his mother's words around in his head. After putting Maggie on the bus and seeing his therapist, Edward was finally able to begin working. Emmett and Makenna were already there; Edward joined his brother on their latest project.

He figured he'd better start with pleasantries. "How's Rose doing?"

Emmett didn't answer right away. "She's not good. It's going to take time for her to move on from Angela's betrayal."

"I thought she seemed too calm when I told her."

Emmett wiped his brow on his sleeve. "She took some time to process what you told her, and now she's spitting mad."

"I wouldn't be surprised if she broke a few things." Edward got them both water bottles and leaned against the nearest sawhorse.

"There might have been a few things tossed around, but nothing broke."

Edward chuckled. "She's already dealing with it better than I did."

"Maybe."

Edward took a moment to drink some water. "Mom is pressuring me to move faster with Bella."

Emmett raised a brow. "I thought you were doing okay."

At that statement, Edward threw his hands up in the air. "Thank you!"

"Mom looking to plan a wedding, is she?"

"I don't know. I think I hurt her feelings because she irritated me this morning."

"I'm sure she means well, but do you know how often she bugged Rose and me to have kids?"

Edward scoffed. "Hell, yeah. She did the same to me when I got married."

"I suppose I have a short reprieve while Bree is little," Emmett mused.

"Shit. It won't last but, for now, she's focused on me."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I think you're doing great. Just this time last month, you were on the edge of reason. Two months ago, you were getting blitzed at Jasper's party."

He nodded. "Thanks, Emmett."

If he thought about it, he realized it was a bitch to discover she was at least a tiny bit right. There wasn't exactly anything standing in his way from letting things progress. He certainly had feelings for Bella. She had strong feelings for him. Maggie loved her.

It didn't matter how many things he ticked off a list. He wasn't ready for that step. He didn't think it would take very much longer, but they'd been friends for four months and only been out one time. As he'd told his mother earlier, he wasn't going to propose after one date, no matter how much they pressured him.

But he couldn't stop thinking about Bella for the rest of the day. He knew she was working that evening, meaning he wouldn't be able to talk to her. It made him antsy. He was a little stronger each day, but he wasn't one hundred percent cured of the issues that plagued him. He trusted Bella implicitly, which was a plus. He didn't worry as much about his self-worth as he had just six weeks ago. Still, every decision had to be weighed against whether it was a knee jerk reaction to his emotions or if it was the right thing to do.

As long as Angela and Ben's case went unresolved, Edward would feel their betrayal as a festering wound. He thought about them in the back of his mind on a round-the-clock basis. There were moments where he could forget completely, like when Maggie was her usual boisterous self, but mostly the two of them hovered at the back of his consciousness. He needed to know they would be punished, that they would pay for what they'd done. He was comforted by the fact they would face the consequences of their actions, regardless of whether or not they were sorry.

He would see them; in Ben's case, at a trial, and in Angela's case, he assumed he'd only get one visit. But he would show them that they didn't matter to him anymore. They weren't important. He sighed as he tried to find a comfortable position in bed. It would help if he meant it by the time he got the chance to say it. For the time being, they mattered more than he liked. He needed a resolution he wouldn't soon receive.

His phone lit up from the nightstand and he reached for it. He grinned when he saw Bella's name on the display.

He swiped at the screen to stop the vibrating. "Hey, Bella."

"Hi. I didn't wake you, did I?" she asked softly.

He sat up in the dark. "No, unfortunately."

"Can't sleep?"

"Nope. I missed you today."

She hummed. "I missed you, too. A lot."

"Enough to call me after your late shift?" he teased.

"Yes, as a matter of fact." He heard the smile in her voice. "You were the first person I thought of when I clocked out."

That thought made him happy. "What are you doing now? Are you home, I hope?"

"Yeah, I'm feeding Tugger."

He pictured her in the tiny kitchen of her carriage house. "I'm glad you thought of me, because I sure thought of you. Earlier, I was wishing I could take you to dinner. How much longer do you have to work these late shifts?"

"About three months. I'm looking forward to it ending so I can spend more time with you and Maggie."

"That would be really nice." Edward shifted his legs on the bed. "I saw the therapist today. It went the same as last week."

"Just going every week is progress."

"Thanks for that. I've been thinking today that maybe I'm moving too slowly." He held his breath while he waited for her response.

"Did someone put that thought in your head?" she demanded.

He snorted. "How did you know?"

"Because the last time we talked about it, you and I agreed you're doing a great job, but now you're feeling like you're moving sluggishly. Even my dad mentioned to me how much better you appeared to be." Her tone was indignant, defensive.

"Well, he should know. He saw me at my worst, I suppose."

"That's an understatement, but that's part of the job. Other than seeing them in court, it's not typical for him to spend time with someone after their case has been more or less resolved." He heard a clank and a meow. "Move, Tugger."

He chuckled. "Is he getting in your face?"

"He's on the kitchen counter knocking into my food."

Edward groaned. "I hate that you're eating dinner at almost midnight."

"Not too much longer before it's a thing of the past. Besides, I ate during my lunch break, so this is more like a midnight snack."

He heard the cat again. "He just wants a nibble."

"It's never a nibble to him, it's stealing the entire thing. And if I cave, he's relentless the next time I eat."

Edward chuckled at the frustration in her voice. "Maggie will love him."

"Aw. I bet she will. We'll have to let her meet him."

He groaned internally. He wanted that. He wanted so much more, and it wasn't exactly a shocking revelation. "When will I see you again?"

There was a pause followed by a shuffling of papers. "Okay, I have to work late tomorrow and Thursday. So, Wednesday or Friday. I'm on this weekend, also; day shift."

"Yes."

"Yes to what?"

"Yes to all of it. I want all of your spare time."

"I love the sound of that, Edward."

"So do I."

* * *

**Closer and closer!**


	29. Chapter 28

They managed to squeeze in time for dinner. Bella met Edward for pizza after work; he'd promised to bring some home for Maggie and his parents.

"Have you looked into a place of your own?" she asked as they sat and waited for their order.

He shook his head. "I haven't given it a second thought."

"Do you want to give it a second thought?"

One corner of his mouth lifted up. "The place you're currently living is plenty big enough for the three of us."

She raised her eyebrows. "Um, there's one bed."

He nodded. "And one bathroom."

"And no privacy," she added.

"It's cozy," he countered.

Bella leaned toward him. "When it's only me, yes, it's quite cozy. And maybe with you and me, as well." She rested her hand on his. "But as much as I love Maggie, there's no way it would be anything but claustrophobic with all of us in there."

"Oh, I know." He stood as their number was called and she sat back against the booth with a laugh.

"You did that on purpose," she accused when he came back.

"Well, yeah." He set two pizza boxes on the table and opened one.

"Good thing I have a sense of humor."

"One of the things I enjoy about you." He set slices on their plates and stacked one box on top of the other one, pushing them out of the way.

She smiled at him over her slice. "I'm enjoying the teasing side of you."

There was silence as they began to eat. "Is that something you'd like to do? Look for a place to live?" Edward eventually asked.

Bella paused mid-bite, leaning back and closing her mouth. She looked at the table for a moment before meeting his gaze. "I didn't ask in order to pressure you into anything. I thought of it because it's convenient for your parents to be right there to watch Maggie but, on the other hand, they're always there."

"This conversation reminds me of talking on your couch. You and I both know where this is headed, I just don't have a timeline to give you." Edward thought about what his mother had said. There was no way to know when he'd be ready.

"As long as we're on the same page. I don't intend to invite myself to live with you if you want to look for something that has long-term potential."

They ate, each seemingly lost in their thoughts. When they finished, Edward walked Bella to her car.

"Can Maggie and I take you out this weekend?" he asked as he pulled her close to him.

She ran her hands through his hair. "Of course. Saturday evening is wide open, but I was thinking of going to my parents' for dinner on Sunday."

"We'll figure something out for Saturday night, then." He kissed the shell of her ear, smiling when she shivered.

Bella tugged at his head until she could rise up and meet him for a kiss. Edward encircled her and held tight, giving her what she wanted.

"It's about to become a get-a-room-moment, Bella." He eased away from her and held her by the shoulders.

"We should give that some thought."

He felt a blush creep up his neck. "I'll take it into consideration."

"You do that." She patted his cheek and slipped into her car before he could come up with a retort. He grabbed the pizza boxes from where he'd left them on the roof of her car and watched her leave.

Maggie was ecstatic when he walked in the door. "Ooh, pizza! Thanks, Daddy!"

"Hi to you, too."

He bent to kiss her and tried not to wince at the sloppy kiss she laid on him.

"I set the table like Grandpa said to."

Edward dropped the boxes in between the plates Maggie had put out. "Good job."

"Did you ask Bella when we can see her again?"

The grin crept up on him as he served Maggie her dinner. "This Saturday."

"Woo hoo!"

Edward was chuckling when Carlisle came in the kitchen. "What are we woo-hooing about?"

"We get to see Bella on Saturday," Maggie replied around a mouthful of food.

"Margaret May."

She ducked her head at her father's tone and waited until she'd swallowed. "Sorry."

Carlisle winked at Edward.

Esme came in from the garage a few minutes after they sat down and set her purse on the counter. "Oh, thank God you're already here, Edward. I'm starving."

It was basically a typical night for them. Edward looked around the table at his parents and daughter, rolling around the idea of finding his own place again. At the moment, it was convenient for him to be living with his child care, but it was also very true that he needed to get his privacy back. He would call the realtor that sold his house for him and see what he needed to do. Thoughts of money and taxes swirled around in his head until Maggie finished eating.

"Ready to sit on the couch with your old man?" he asked her.

She scrunched her nose. "You're not an old man, Daddy."

"Thank you," he said wryly. "It's an expression. Are you ready?"

"Yep."

They watched a little TV before it was time for her bedtime routine. Edward supervised the singing and splashing that constituted Maggie's bath, and then his mind drifted off as she put on her pajamas. He realized how much he wanted Bella with them for pizza dinners and bedtime routines. He could picture making a life with her, making her a permanent part of his and Maggie's lives. Was that what love was supposed to feel like? It wasn't the same as what he'd felt for Beth, and that worried him.

"Daddy!"

Maggie's voice snapped him to the present. "What?"

"I said, can I have two bedtime stories?"

"Yes, Magpie, you can."

The next day was too much like the one before. His parents seemed determined to marry him off to Bella before spring arrived, and the more they brought it up, the more he dug in his heels.

"Maggie says you're going to see Bella on Saturday."

"We are," he answered Esme. "She also sent me a text that said she'd try to stop by the shop this afternoon before work."

"That might be fun."

"Or it might be brief." He tried not to roll his eyes as he rinsed his coffee mug and set it in the sink.

"You're smitten."

Carlisle snorted as he joined them. "Smitten, Es?"

"Well, he is," Esme said defensively.

"You've made the boy blush."

"As is my right."

"Enough, both of you." Edward scrubbed his hands over his face. "I can't describe the feelings I have for her. I know I want to be with her—as in, physically in the same room—and I know I feel as if everything clicks when we're together. I like her, care for her . . ."

"You're afraid to admit you love her," Esme stated.

"I don't know."

"Is it hard because it feels like a betrayal?"

He sighed. "No, Dad. I can see how there's room for me to love what I had with Beth and still have those same types of feelings for Bella."

"Is it too soon?"

Edward groaned. "I can't pinpoint it."

"Time," Esme announced as Maggie pranced into the room. _Wasn't that what he'd been trying to tell them?_

"Daddy, I'm ready to go!"

"Say goodbye, then," he said, eager to escape the house.

"Bye, Grandma!" Maggie gave Esme a hug and kiss. "Bye, Grandpa!" Carlisle received the same treatment before Maggie bounced out the door. Edward followed, picking up his keys and wallet on the way.

Maggie chatted as he drove her to the bus stop. They talked about her day at school as they waited for the bus, and he walked her across the street when it arrived. He was happy to be heading to the shop, to be able to put in a full day's work because they had orders coming in again. He was content with his life, yet it felt awkward for a reason he couldn't name. Something itchy between his shoulder blades that begged the question; should he be happy so soon?

He remembered his therapist's advice to evaluate his feelings and accept them for what they were. If he was content, he shouldn't second guess the reason for it or the validity of it.

Happier, he pulled into the lot and unlocked the door. He flipped on the lights as he walked through his domain and stood behind the counter, looking out the wide windows at the trees blowing in the late winter wind. Emmett would be there soon, as well as Makenna. Rose would be back in a few days and things would change, but he was looking forward to it. Makenna would stay on to help Rose, something Edward hadn't thought would be possible just a month ago. But with profits rising, he could pay her to stay.

He threw himself into his work. After several hours, he and Emmett were sweating enough to have pulled off their shirts. They worked together to etch a design into a wine cabinet; intricate, delicate work that made Edward's hands cramp. When he stepped away to study his work and wipe his brow with a towel, he spotted Bella in the doorway between the shop in the back and the reception area up front.

She was framed by the late afternoon sun streaming in through the front windows. Her slim body was tucked into a blue sweater and khaki pants, her hair on fire in the sunlight and her eyes locked on his.

So this was how it all fit together, he thought. Their pieces, all the moving parts, they fit with each other so well because he was in love with her. It would have been nice to get a heads up from somewhere, but maybe something had been trying to tell him all along and he'd been blind to it.

He crossed the room and yanked her into his arms, up on her toes, and took her mouth with his.

That storm of feeling blew through him, taking his breath. He wondered how people were expected to live with all this emotion filling them up. His life would never be the same as what it was, as what it had been, and that was all because of her. Because they loved each other.

He pulled away to rest his forehead to hers.

"Um, good afternoon." She flexed the fingers that gripped his bare shoulders.

"I love you, Bella. I don't know what I was waiting for, but it's right there."

She laughed. "You know how to set a romantic mood, Edward."

"Sorry." He kissed her to prove he wasn't sorry at all.

"I love you, too, Edward. I have for a very long time, and I'm so happy you caught up to me."

"You two sure you don't want to get a room?"

Edward swore harshly enough to have Bella cackling. He'd said the same thing the night before. "Forgot you were there."

"Obviously."

"Hi, Emmett," Bella said with a wave in his direction.

His grin split his face. "Hi, Bella."

She returned her attention to Edward. "By the way, this . . ." She pulled away to indicate his upper half. "_Nice_."

He shook his head. "I'm covered in sawdust."

"Mm, yeah, and sweat. I'm female, what can I say? You, shirtless, with a tool belt around your waist, and those muscles . . ."

He held her to him again and spoke into her ear. "I can't believe you have to go to work."

"I've never called in a day in my life." She huffed out a sigh when his tongue trailed over her earlobe. "Maybe now is an excellent time."

"So, can you have dinner with me?"

She shivered. "After I make excuses for why I can't work."

"I'll need to do a few things here first—"

"Go on, Edward. Don't stick around here on my account."

He flashed his brother a smile. "Thanks, Em."

"I want to go home and change."

"Me, too, and shower off the day." He kissed her forehead. "Pick you up in an hour?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "I'm looking forward to it."

The brothers stood together and watched her walk out. "You gonna get laid tonight?"

"Fuck, Emmett, you aren't the tiniest bit subtle."

Emmett slapped his hand on Edward's shoulder. "Hi, I'm Emmett. Perhaps we've met somewhere?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

"I can't help it, I'm high and dry right now. I need to know that someone, somewhere, is getting sex."

"Rest assured that someone on the planet is having sex, even if it's not you or me." Edward pulled his shirt on and unhooked his tool belt.

"Right this very second, too, I bet." Emmett crossed his arms and leaned against the workbench, looking thoughtful.

"I'm leaving now."

"Have fun."

Edward walked out into the brisk afternoon air, rolling his brother's words around in his head. Was he ready for that? He was physically ready, but was he mentally and emotionally ready? Beth had been his one and only.

He arrived home to find Carlisle pacing the living room with a voice recorder in one hand and a steno pad in the other.

"Hey, Dad."

Carlisle stopped and looked up. "Edward. Maggie is doing her homework in her room."

"Thanks. Um, can you watch her tonight if I go to dinner with Bella?"

"Of course." Carlisle frowned. "Are you okay?"

"More than okay," Edward replied as he took the stairs two at a time. Carlisle smirked at his retreating form.

"Hi, Daddy," Maggie said as Edward pushed open her door.

"Hey, sweetpea." He kissed the top of her head as he bent to look at what she was working on.

"I'm doing math."

"And you're doing an excellent job at it." He scanned her answers and kissed her again. "You've got them all correct."

"I know."

He huffed out a laugh. "Will you be all right with Grandpa if I take Bella out to dinner? It'll be just the two of you."

She looked up with a grin. "Do you think Grandpa will take me to dinner if I ask him?"

"It's possible."

"Cool."

He smiled down at her. "You sure do make things easier for me."

"I do?" She scrunched her nose in his direction.

"Yes, because you're the best little girl a dad could ask for."

"Uncle Emmett says Bree is the best little girl."

Edward squatted and hugged her. "Then you're my best girl, and Bree is Emmett's best girl."

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, Magpie."

He took his shower, put on fresh clothes, and headed back downstairs after saying goodbye to his daughter. He told Carlisle of Maggie's dinner request and left the house with anticipation singing through his veins. He made a stop in town and drove to Bella's house with his heart thumping in his chest.

* * *

**How are we feeling about this? Was it expected, or are you surprised?**


	30. Chapter 29

**I've come down with a cold, so I'm sorry if my review replies were short and to the point. Thanks to all of you.**

* * *

Bella answered the door in a red dress that made it hard for him not to fall to his knees. He held out the flowers he'd picked up on the way. "You look incredible."

She blushed. "Thanks. You clean up nicely yourself."

Edward followed her inside and watched her bend over to pick a vase from under the sink in which to put the flowers. Her home carried the scent of her perfume; subtle and light. It stirred something inside him much the way the sight of her backside did.

Just as she straightened, he put his hands on her waist from behind and spun her to face him. "I need to do this one thing."

He touched his mouth to hers and heat raced up his spine. She nearly dropped the vase, set it on the counter instead, and slid her arms around his neck as she met him with the same fervor.

"We should go now," he managed to say against her lips.

"I'm not hungry."

Bella kissed along his jaw, enjoying the scrape of his unshaven face. She found the pulse in his throat and swirled her tongue over it, thrilling when he dug his fingers into her hips in response.

"Bella."

She splayed her hands over his chest, picturing the way he'd looked half naked earlier in the day. His strong, smooth chest glistening with sweat. Defined muscles and masculinity. She felt him growing hard when she cupped his ass and pulled his pelvis against her.

He groaned and attached his lips to her neck, moving up to nibble on her earlobe. His breath was hot in her ear when he exhaled heavily. She shivered and ground into him.

"Dinner," he said on a strangled sound.

Bella shook her head to clear it. "Do we have to?"

He laughed, but his burning gaze pinned her in place. "Eat? Yes."

"Not right this second, though."

"Not right this second," he agreed.

Callused hands slid over delicate skin, setting embers into flames. His long, rough-edged fingers stroked, pressed, and found the places that made her sigh out his name. The underside of her breast, the curve of her waist, the nape of her neck. Every inch of her needed to be explored and committed to memory.

Bella had never been touched that way, as if she were something rare and precious. He stirred something new and warm in her soul, caused her blood to go lazy and thick. She only sighed as he slid her dress down her shoulders to let it pool at their feet. Then his tongue was working over the gentle slope of her breasts, teasing her nipples over satin and lace. She didn't bother to hold back a groan when he took one of them in his mouth as his fingers cleverly worked the hooks in the back. When Edward eased the bra from her, she looked up at him in wonderment. Had there ever been a man so perfectly made for her as he?

"So beautiful," he murmured.

Bella met his gaze and held it, the knowledge of what was to come surging through her heart. This was what she'd waited for: the precious way he looked at her, the long, slow caresses, the quiet sighs and quick gasps. She led him slowly in the direction of the bed. His lips were on her neck, her breasts, and always back to her mouth for a drugging kiss that took and took and took. She tugged at his shirt, desperate to give back some of the pleasure singing through her veins. What she found was muscle and man, sinew and strength. Edward's flesh was warm under her eager fingers, turning his breathing shallow and jagged to match the sound of her heartbeat.

"I want to make love to you, Bella."

"Oh, yes."

She hadn't expected to feel shy, but when she urged him down on the bed, she almost covered her breasts with her hands. Instead of giving in to the urge, she pulled him against her so they could be skin on skin. Two pairs of hands fumbled with the button of his pants, finally pushing and shoving until that barrier gave way. Slipping down to stretch out along her side, he slid his hand between her thighs, finding her wet and hot.

"I want to watch you fall apart."

She gasped when he removed the last scrap of fabric from her body and pressed his palm against her center. Questing fingers and quiet cries turned into moans of pleasure and excitement. She lost her breath when he sent her over, exhaling with a whisper of his name.

Dizziness overwhelmed her, and she clung to his shoulders for steadiness, finding that the sensation wouldn't fade. Not while he was in her bed, in her home. This was finally the love she'd been looking for her whole life.

"Please."

It was one simple word, but the request was clear. Her pulse skipped a beat when he rose above her and buried himself inside her, her name falling from his lips as a prayer. She delighted in the tense set of his shoulders, in the damp trail of his mouth over her skin, and the guttural sigh. Edward moved with her, against her, giving her what they'd both been seeking. He pulled back to look into her eyes, finding them filled with tears.

"You've made me so happy, Bella."

She nodded, her throat too tight to respond. She understood how he felt. They moved languidly, in no hurry to be anywhere but in each other's arms. There was a completeness about the moment, a serenity in the knowledge that it was right. He cradled her body close to his, cherishing her, loving her.

Her name came tumbling out of his mouth in a litany, his movements faltering. She clung, clamping her legs around his waist as he came. He covered her mouth with his, pouring every feeling into the kiss. Even when he became motionless everywhere else, the kiss went on.

He finally pulled back enough to frame her face in his hands. "My God, Bella, I had no idea how perfect it would be."

She felt indulgent just then with his weight pressing her into the mattress. He kissed her nose before moving to the bed beside her.

She tucked her head next to his and kissed his jaw. "You really think it was perfect?"

"I can't even describe it." She felt him turn his head, lifted hers to look in his eyes. "I don't even want to bother finding words. I just want to feel."

"I love you," she whispered.

His face lit up. "I love you so much."

She treasured the way it felt when he threaded his fingers in her hair and kissed her until she couldn't breathe. He wasn't merely gentle; he was tender. When he broke the kiss, he rested his forehead to hers.

"Are you hungry now?" she asked.

Edward chuckled. "I could simultaneously eat a whole cow and also not move for the rest of the night."

Bella patted his arm. "Well, I have to pee."

She rose from the bed to the sound of his laughter, weighing the options between ordering in and going out as planned. She took a look in the mirror at her rumpled hair and smudged makeup.

"Do you want to go out?" she asked as she walked back out.

Edward watched her approach and sit on the edge of the bed. "That depends."

"On what?"

"On whether I can stand for you to cover this up." He gestured to her naked body.

She felt herself flush. "Ah, yes, well, my dress is in a pile on the kitchen floor and my hair is a mess."

"Sorry about that."

"No, please. You can mess my hair up any day, any time." Bella laughed at the expression on his face. "Let me rescue my dress and we can go eat."

"Okay. I'm going to clean up first."

She stared unabashedly at his bare ass while he strode to her bathroom. Bella pulled on clean panties—Edward had ruined the pair she'd been wearing—and retrieved her dress. She suddenly _wanted_ to go somewhere, to sit across from the man she loved and share a meal. She wanted to show him off, honestly.

"Almost ready?" he said from behind her.

She spun to face him. "Huh?"

He raised a brow. "I asked if you were almost ready."

Bella blushed and slipped her dress on. "Sorry, I was daydreaming."

She ran her hands through her hair and dashed to the mirror over her dresser to make sure she looked presentable. Satisfied, she picked up her purse and headed to the door.

There was only one semi-formal restaurant in Forks; The Lodge. The booths were packed with people they knew, but Bella kept her eyes on Edward as they were seated.

"What did you tell your boss? With all these people here, there's no way you can pretend you were sick in bed."

"I said I had a personal emergency and agreed to cover for my replacement the next time she needed a day off."

"The emergency being . . ."

She leaned toward him. "I desperately needed to get in your pants."

He threw his head back and laughed.

"And it's worth it to see you so lighthearted and content."

"We'll try not to make it a habit."

"Oh, I hope we will." She winked.

"I meant calling in, Ms. Swan," he said sternly.

Their waiter appeared and interrupted the moment. Bella considered the idea that Edward was moving forward better and faster than any of his family had expected. She sincerely hoped it had something to do with her.

"On Saturday, I thought we could just go to the movies with Maggie," Edward said when the waiter left the table.

"That's good. It'll be dinnertime when I'm off work, so we can meet after that at the theater." Bella took a sip of her drink. "Do you want to come to Sunday dinner again?"

"Um, okay. Are you sure your parents won't be sick of me?"

She was shaking her head before he stopped speaking. "No, honey. We're all in."

"I like the sound of that. Are we monopolizing your time, though? There's no way you have time for anyone other than me anymore."

"I admit I've spent more time with you and less with Alice lately, but she understands it won't always be like this. It's different while I've got this schedule, and she knows I want to spend my spare time with you and Maggie. Don't worry about me; I'll tell you if it's too much."

"We could all get together." He hadn't seen Alice or Jasper since Maggie's party, and he liked them both.

Bella smiled. "That sounds like a nice idea. A double date, or a family thing with Maggie and Tyler?"

"It depends on when everyone is free, but we could all get together the next weekend that you're not working."

Bella watched Edward's face as she sat back against the booth and let the waiter serve them. She knew she'd thrust herself into an unusual situation, but there had never been any doubt in her mind. Since the day they met, she'd felt something for him, but that day in the hospital after Maggie was found cemented her love for him. He was nearly destroyed, needing her and his brother to help him get through, but she saw the strength underneath it all. She saw the love and devotion for his daughter and his family.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" she said when they were alone again.

His grin was quick and brightened his face. "I think so. I'm pretty blown away by how much it turns out I love you."

"No reservations?"

He shook his head slowly. "No, not anymore. Something broke loose inside me, I think. Whatever was holding me back from happiness."

"I'm the luckiest person alive, you know."

He picked up her hand and kissed the back of it. "That makes two of us."

She watched him eat, adoring the face of the man she loved. He'd been through so much, and there was more to come, but he was open and honest with her about it all. He was healing. No matter what came their way, there was nothing they couldn't get through together.

* * *

**We're going to pretend he picked up condoms, too. ;)  
Margaret May just sounded good to me, and it was used by Carlisle way back in the beginning. LOL**

**This review from starsmina summed up how I felt about writing the previous chapter: ****_the lightbulb just finally turned on in his head. I think it would've turned on sooner if he had not been so desperate to prove his parents wrong. If his parents had just let him be he would've figured it out a lot sooner._**


	31. Chapter 30

**Renee and Charlie talk about what happened to their son in this chapter. It isn't drawn out, but if you need to PM me before reading, you can.**

* * *

Bella opened the door to let Edward and Maggie in. "Hi, guys."

Maggie bounced on her toes. "I wanna meet your cat! Can I, please?"

Bella squatted and smiled at Maggie. "Of course, sweetie. He's probably hiding under the couch, but if we sit still for a few minutes, he'll come out."

"Okay!"

Edward hugged Bella and kissed her on the forehead before he sat with Maggie on the couch. "How was your day?"

She sat in the armchair. "Typical. There weren't any unusual calls."

"Small town life."

Maggie gasped. "Oh! There he is."

She whispered it, and Bella turned her head to see Tugger peeking out from under the edge of the couch. "Be still, and he'll come to check you out."

"He's very sweet," Edward said.

Maggie's eyes were wide as she tried her best not to move. "I want to pet him."

"Soon, Maggie. Just give him a minute to be comfortable with you."

Edward winked at Bella, and she smiled in return. Tugger was the only thing Maggie had talked about ever since he said they could go over and meet him before the movie.

Tugger jumped up on the back of the couch and sniffed at the back of Maggie's head. "It tickles!"

Tugger backed up at her outburst, but he didn't get down. He stretched his neck out and sniffed her head once more, then pushed his nose into her hair. She giggled and he jumped down to the seat cushion to crawl onto her leg.

"There you are, sweetie kitty." Maggie stroked Tugger, laughing when he arched his back.

"He likes you," Bella said.

"I know," Maggie responded, not taking her eyes off the cat that bumped against her hand.

It took plenty of convincing and promises to come back to see the cat after the movie to get Maggie to agree to leave. They had an enjoyable night and returned the next evening to pick Bella up and drive together to the Swan household for Sunday dinner.

They were greeted just as warmly as the last time, causing Edward to feel completely relaxed around Bella's parents. Bella took Maggie to the backyard to play for a bit, and Edward opted to stay in the kitchen with Renee.

"Edward, I want you to know how much we adore Maggie," she said from her position at the stove.

Edward stood near the sink and offered her a smile. "I can tell."

"You're all right too, I guess." She shot him a wink, and he chuckled.

"Good to know."

"Do you have any questions for me, Edward? I know you and Bella discussed what happened with her brother, but you and I haven't exactly had a personal conversation." She glanced over at him, and he shifted his feet in discomfort.

"I don't want to dredge up bad memories for you, Renee."

"No, I know. It's not that. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I hope to be your mother-in-law eventually, and I want to be honest with you as much as I can."

"Wow, Renee. In the spirit of that honesty, I hope for the same; you know it'll happen sooner or later, but this isn't necessary."

"What isn't necessary?" Charlie asked as he came in the room.

"I thought we should talk about Marcus," Renee replied.

Edward winced. "You don't have to do that on my account."

"Oh, Edward. It's not only about you. It's about Maggie and your relationship with Bella."

"Renee and I agreed on this, Edward." Charlie sat on one of the counter stools. "We know we had a lot of years where we basically failed Bella, and we've tried to make that right for a while now."

"I don't know how successful we've been," Renee murmured, blinking rapidly before turning back to the stove.

"What happened with Jake was an eye-opener. I realized I had let her down, son. I wasn't there for her as I should have been."

Edward held Charlie's gaze. "I agree with you."

Charlie rubbed his hand over his mustache. "Ouch. Look, losing Marcus killed something inside us both. It was too hard to recover from that, love each other through the guilt and blame and doubt, and still be the perfect parents for Bella."

Renee nodded. "We should have attended counseling."

"Even though Bella begged us to, we weren't ready to reopen those wounds. We were wrong to shut her out, but there were so many harsh feelings over it all that we were drowning in them." Charlie spread his hands. "You can't know what it's like, thank God. You found your daughter alive, but we weren't that lucky."

"What happened to him?" Edward whispered.

Renee sighed and swiped her fingers over her eyes. "He was taken by a man that lived in the woods, and he killed him."

They were silent for a few moments. Charlie rose from the stool to wrap his arms around Renee, and Edward knew he would never forget the anguish on the chief's face.

"I'm so sorry."

"He was apprehended the following day, but it was too late for Marcus. It wasn't the only time he'd done such a thing, either. He was wanted in several states for kidnapping young boys."

_Fuck_. "Bella explained that this was part of the reason she volunteered to help in the search for Maggie."

"It opened something inside of me," Charlie said. "A floodgate, of sorts. I'd shut down all my emotions for so many years, but I could no longer come home at night and stare at these four walls."

"We'd spent too many years working opposite shifts and basically ignoring each other and Bella." Renee reached for a paper towel and dabbed at her face. "Charlie broke down when he told me about your daughter, and how you didn't have a spouse to turn to for comfort."

Charlie nodded. "We'd had each other to lean on for years, and we took it for granted, instead. We had the chance to try harder, to make the effort. We'd treated our marriage far too casually for more than a decade."

"It's odd that Maggie's disappearance brought us all together."

Renee stepped away from Charlie to pat Edward's cheek. "It was a blessing in disguise."

"I have to admit, I never saw it that way." No, Edward wouldn't call it a blessing, despite what it had brought to him.

"At any rate, Edward, we love your daughter. She's an amazing little girl, and we hope that you'll continue to allow us to be in her life."

He nodded. "Beth's parents don't like me. They barely acknowledge that Maggie exists, and she isn't immune to their treatment. I had to be sure ahead of time that would never be the case here, and it looks like Bella was right when she said you would welcome both of us into your lives."

"With open arms, Edward."

He accepted the hug Renee offered, and the subject changed. Edward appreciated their candor, and he was happy for them. They were giving themselves a second chance, and they deserved it. Theirs was a family he could picture being a part of, one that would allow Maggie to flourish as Bella reconnected with her parents. He liked and respected the Swans.

"Maggie's asking when dinner will be ready," Bella said when she came into the kitchen a moment later.

"Are you sure you're not the one who wants to know?" Charlie teased.

"Very funny, Dad." She leaned into his side and Edward smiled when Charlie wrapped an arm around her.

"It should be less than ten minutes, Bella," Renee responded.

"Let me set the table, then," Bella said.

"No, Maggie and I can do it if you'll show me where everything is."

Bella looked long and hard at Edward. "Okay, I'll bring out the dishes and silverware, and the two of you can set the table."

"Okay."

Edward went to the backyard to find Maggie and get her to wash her hands. He looked around at the privacy fence and the shade trees, spotting his daughter sitting on a tire hung from a branch.

"Are you having fun, Magpie?" he called on his way across the yard.

"Bella said Grandpa Charlie put this up just for me!"

He felt a stuttering in his chest at the name she used, but he couldn't place the origin; happiness or tension. Either way, she was happy, and that was what mattered.

"That's great. Dinner is almost ready, and we're in charge of setting the table."

She hopped down. "Okay."

It was an easy evening, something Edward could picture doing for years to come. His own family got together on occasional Saturdays, depending on Esme's work schedule. He had a brief flash of Christmas and other holidays, and what it would look like if both families came together.

He heard Maggie call Renee Grams a few times and realized his daughter already considered them family. He wondered why they had such differing titles, but Bella explained it to him when he took her back home. Maggie was playing with Tugger on the floor, and Bella and Edward were sitting together on the couch.

"She wants to call him Grumps, and I assured her she could. She hasn't tested it out yet."

Edward stifled a laugh. "She wants to call them Grams and Grumps?"

Bella nodded, shaking with suppressed laughter. "Yep."

Edward quirked an eyebrow. "Are you sure Charlie would go for that?"

"Oh, come on. She's got him wrapped around her finger already."

He kissed the side of her head. "I saw the tire swing."

"They're making an effort to live life on the surface, not with their heads buried in the sand." Bella bumped his shoulder. "Like someone else I know."

"It's less of an effort each day."

"That's good."

"Just as loving you is now second nature." He pushed her hair away from her neck and kissed the spot behind her ear. "When can I have you this week?"

She swallowed, watching Maggie drag a ribbon across the floor for Tugger. "I, uh, I don't know. I can't think with you this close."

"I can run Maggie home and be back in twenty minutes."

"No." She looked up at him, saw the mischief in his eyes. "You tease."

"I am teasing," he admitted. "I wouldn't really."

"Well, I'm on day shift Tuesday and Thursday."

"Then I'll be here Tuesday and Thursday." He slipped the tips of his fingers under the hem of her shirt.

She sucked in a sharp breath. "O-okay."

Edward eased away from Bella. "Maggie May, it's a school night."

Bella released the breath she'd been holding and stood to walk them to the door. She hugged Maggie first. "I'm so glad you played with me today, Mags."

"I had fun on the tire swing. Thanks for letting me play with your sweet kitty again." She kissed Bella on the cheek. "You're nice."

"Thank you, sweetie."

Edward leaned in to Bella, squeezing her close to him. "Thanks for inviting me to play with your sweet kitty in a few days."

Her face was scarlet when he released her. "Yeah, no problem. I look forward to it."

"Oh, me too."

He kissed her until she forgot her own name and Maggie pulled on his hand. "Let's go, Daddy."

"Okay, squirt, let's go."

"Love you," Bella said to them both.

"Bye, Bella, love you!" Maggie called as she stepped outside.

Edward's stunned expression said it all.

"It's a good thing, baby."

"Yeah, yeah it is." He kissed her one more time before following his daughter out to the car. Everything was falling into place, and he didn't want to question any of it for once. He was just going to enjoy himself.


	32. Chapter 31

Everything seemed to move much more quickly once Edward told Bella how he felt. He began looking for a house to purchase with them as a family in mind. He spent more and more time with Bella in the afternoons when she was off work and then went home to have dinner with his parents and Maggie. On the nights Bella was off, the three of them spent time together.

Ideas about how to propose had begun to cram his head. There were so many choices, he couldn't decide which one to do. Bella was practical, but she loved romantic gestures. He knew it needed to be when she wasn't expecting it, so he was careful not to speak of it. He looked forward to the time when she would agree to spend the rest of her life with him.

The one thing he wasn't looking forward to, but was coming whether he liked it or not, was Ben's trial. He and Rose decided they would stop by the station to visit Angela to ask about her part in Ben's actions. She had never admitted to being complicit, but Edward and Rose both knew better than that. If Ben was up to something, there wasn't a chance Angela didn't know, but the only thing she'd admitted was being scared for her own safety.

She was being held in the jail until she could be tried. She'd pled not guilty, unsurprisingly, but Edward wanted to ask Jasper what she'd been charged with specifically. While Ben was charged with hit and run, kidnapping, attempted murder, concealing evidence, and obstruction of justice, they weren't quite sure where Angela fit into that.

Rose and Edward walked into the station on a warm spring day. Jasper greeted them in the reception area, and they followed him down the wood-paneled halls to the scent of stale coffee.

"How are you two doing?" Jasper asked as they all took seats in his office.

Rose flipped her hair over her shoulder and settled her purse in her lap. "Well, I'm not feeling too friendly today, but I'm looking forward to speaking with Angela."

Edward nodded. "I'm eager to hear what she has to say for herself."

"Not much at this point, so don't let her frustrate you, yeah? We won't be taping your conversation in the hopes that she'll open up enough for you to gain closure. Nothing she says will come back to bite her."

"We appreciate that, Jasper."

"No problem, Edward." He shuffled some papers on his desk and picked one up. "I know you've wondered what Mrs. Cheney was accused of; Chief Swan said she was charged as an accessory."

"That means there's proof she could have spoken up and chose not to, right?" Rose asked.

"Essentially. It has to be proven in court, but from what we can see, Mr. Cheney was never violent. There's no proof that he ever assaulted her, there were never any domestic violence calls to their home, nothing of that sort. However, Mrs. Cheney maintains the defense that her husband would have harmed her and, subsequently, the unborn fetus."

"That's such a load of crap."

Edward looked at Rose. "It's all she's got left. She must know she's in the wrong, but her back's against the wall at this point."

"Then her lawyer is a slimeball. She should just accept her guilt and plead for probation or something."

"That isn't looking very likely," Jasper spoke up. "She is trying to speed up her trial because she's closing in on her due date. She waived a jury trial."

Rose and Edward exchanged looks, but neither said anything. Edward couldn't decide how he felt about Angela remaining in custody during and after childbirth. Sure, she'd brought it on herself, but the baby didn't deserve that.

Edward shifted in his seat. "Do you know if her parents are going to take the baby?"

"I don't have the answer to that question, no. Are you ready to see her?" At their nods, he stood and motioned for them to follow him.

The three of them went down the hall to a door at the back of the station. Jasper unlocked it and led them through to another section of the building. There were cells lined up along either side of an aisle which Jasper led them past until they reached a room with a windowless door.

"Here you are."

After unlocking it, Jasper remained outside the door while Rose and Edward stepped inside. Angela sat at a table, her hands cuffed in front of her. Her chair was pushed back, her swollen belly confirming she was nearing her due date. She wore a gray jumpsuit, looking exhausted and defiant.

Rose immediately sat down across from her and leaned over the table. "So."

Angela raised an eyebrow. "So."

Edward wasn't sure if he wanted to begin asking questions right off the bat or if he would ease into the situation. Once upon a time, he was practically this woman's brother-in-law, and now he felt nothing but disgust for her.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Rose spat.

Angela spread her palms. "Such as what?"

Edward was surprised that Angela was being so belligerent. "You don't think you owe us an explanation?"

"I've already explained to the police that I felt threatened."

Rose sighed. "Cut the crap, Angela. Ben would never have hurt you."

"You'd have said the same about Maggie and yet, he did."

Edward sucked in a breath. "Seriously?" So many emotions swirled through him. She didn't care. Angela showed no remorse over her actions, much the same as Ben. After all the years they spent together as friends—_family_. To think neither of them felt any sort of connection after all they'd been through sent pain lancing through him.

There was silence for several moments until Rose stood. "Just as long as you realize that we're all happier and stronger than we were before this bullshit. You and your husband's deceitfulness didn't break us. It's your loss, you selfish bitch."

She headed for the door, and Edward followed her out. Coming had been a giant waste of time. "Rose."

"Not until we get outside, Edward." Rose kept going, pausing only long enough to allow Jasper to unlock the doors and lead them through the station.

Edward stopped to thank Jasper for taking the time to help them while Rose went outside. He found her by the car, leaning against it with her head tilted up.

"I don't know what I expected, but not that," she said at his approach.

Edward sighed. "I guess I thought she would spill the truth, but I wasn't sure."

"She seems so distant; so different from just a year ago."

"Maybe it's been hard for her."

Rose dropped her head, finally looking directly at him. He saw by her reddened eyes that she'd been trying not to cry. "No, I don't think so."

He sighed again. "Neither of them care about what they've done, which boggles my mind. I just don't think I have it in me anymore to worry about her, Rose. I still have Ben to deal with, and I don't have room for Angela in my head."

"I won't go to her hearing, Edward. I'll come to Ben's, but you're right; Angela doesn't deserve our time."

He hugged her before taking her home.

Edward spent the rest of the day with Maggie, needing to be in her presence and reassure himself that she was whole and untouched by what had happened to her. She was incredibly well-adjusted, and it warmed his heart to see her smiling and playing. They went to the park for a little while, and when they got back home, he called Bella and told her about the visit. She wasn't as surprised by Angela's attitude as Edward and Rose were.

He went house hunting again that weekend, and Bella was able to come along; she was three weeks away from having daytime hours at work. Edward had already debated with himself a hundred times whether he should ask her to move in as soon as he closed on the house, or if he should wait until they'd made their relationship more permanent.

There weren't many houses for sale in town. They'd gone the next town over a few times, but it wasn't Edward's first choice. He was against pulling Maggie from school, and even more against being far from his parents and brother. After another month passed with nothing for them to look at, finally the realtor called with what appeared to be the perfect house.

He called Bella first. "It's on Jasper and Alice's street. It's a 4/2 with a shed in the fenced backyard."

"Edward, that sounds perfect."

"She's making an appointment to look at it. Apparently, the homeowners haven't moved out yet."

"I have a good feeling about this one."

He grinned. "Me, too."

As they hung up, Edward thought about the fact that he had the rest of his life to look forward to now. He remembered feeling like his life had ended when Beth's had, and maybe he'd stopped truly living. But now, with Bella and Maggie, he had so much good happening. He only had the trial to get through, which was scheduled for two weeks away. He wasn't as apprehensive as he once had been about attending, either. After speaking with Angela, he realized he couldn't harbor hurt feelings for people who had already forgotten about him. Whatever he'd put into the relationship with each of them had apparently not been enough for them to love him as a brother in return. As hard as it was to accept, it wasn't his fault.

Therapy clearly hadn't been a waste.

He was closing up the shop after sending everyone else home for the evening when he saw Bella pull her car into the lot. He fiddled with the program on the computer until she got out and headed to the door, then he met her there and unlocked it for her.

"Hey, what brings you here? I didn't forget plans, did I?"

She hugged him. "No, Alice had to cancel on me. Tyler is sick."

He locked the door behind her and went back behind the counter. "I was just finishing up here, and then we can grab dinner if you want."

"Okay, sure."

Bella leaned against the counter while Edward fooled with the computer. "It looks like we're ahead of schedule on the wine rack we're making, and right on time with Charlie's gun cabinet."

Bella grinned. "It's all he can talk about lately."

"It was a brilliant idea, Bella." He clicked a few more times before shutting down the computer. "All I need to do now is shut off the lights."

She followed him to the back, watching him walk around the workshop. "Edward."

"Yeah?" he replied without turning around.

"We're alone."

"Yeah." He hit the switch on the back wall and half the room darkened.

"Edward."

He looked up at her tone of voice. The expression on her face would have been enough to catch him up to what she was thinking, but the sight of her hoisting herself up on the worktable was enough to have him rushing in her direction.

"Are you—"

"Yes."

He groaned.

Bella yanked her shirt over her head, and Edward did the same with his. Just as he reached her, she unclasped her bra and peeled it down her arms.

"Oh, my God." Edward dropped his head, catching one of her tight nipples in his mouth. She moaned and fisted his hair.

Bella wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled on his hair so he'd meet her mouth with his. Their tongues tangled, Bella pressing her hips up and nearly crying at the feel of his hard length straining against his jeans.

"I've missed you."

"I just saw you yesterday," he reminded her.

"I know." She bit his lower lip and rocked her hips again. He ran his hands up her bare legs until he reached under her skirt to find her panties wet.

"Jesus, lay back."

Bella lowered herself to the table and uncrossed her legs. Edward pushed at her skirt until it bunched at her waist and peeled off the lace covering her pussy. Her breathing was coming in choppy waves, and she gripped the edge of the table when he lowered to his knees.

"Yes, Edward."

He ran his nose along her inner thigh and kissed her mound. She squirmed, arching her back when he slipped one finger inside her. He lowered his head until her view was of his copper hair and his face buried between her legs. She couldn't form another coherent thought once he ran his tongue along her pussy until he reached her clit. He sucked it between his lips and circled it with the tip of his tongue, and she cried out.

She shuddered so hard she bumped the back of her head on the table, but she didn't care. "So close, Edward."

He added another finger and curled it inside her, unleashing her orgasm in seconds. Her muscles clenched and she called his name, making him grin and kiss her thigh again.

He straightened, looking sexy as fuck with his hair standing in all different directions. He unbuttoned his jeans and barely pushed them down his hips before he was pulling her legs until they met heat to heat.

Bella arched when he pushed inside her, moaning at the satisfaction of feeling so full. "Oh, yes."

Edward grabbed her waist as he pounded into her, and she watched his face. He was never more gorgeous than when he was finding pleasure in her body. Love surged through her and caught in her throat.

"God, Bella, you feel so good."

"Come inside me, Edward."

"Oh God."

He moved faster, dropping his head back. Every thrust brought him closer, straining his muscles until he snapped. When he stilled, it was buried deep inside Bella with a death grip on her hips.

He leaned over her to kiss her. "You're amazing."

"Now I can cross that off my list," she said with a giggle.

* * *

**I almost hate to say it, but the next chapter is the last. I knew it was drawing to a close, I just didn't think it was really that close.**


	33. Chapter 32

**I'm just as bummed this is over as you. When the characters stop talking to me, there's nothing I can do.**

* * *

For five straight weeks, Edward had sat in the same chair four days a week. He hated that chair and everything it symbolized. It was hard and uncomfortable, and it took him away from what and who he loved. He listened to each side argue why Ben Cheney should or shouldn't be sent to prison. He listened to Ben's testimony that he had acted out of panic when he realized he'd injured Maggie. He thought she was dead, and he didn't know what to do. He'd just found out Angela was pregnant and he needed to be there for her and the baby.

Regardless of what he said, Edward knew something was fundamentally wrong with the man he used to treat like a brother. Nobody had an acceptable excuse for injuring a little girl and not finding help. Luckily, the jury agreed.

The frustration and pain of sitting through the trial was worth it, if only to be there the day he was found guilty of all charges. It was worth it to see the look on his face when he was sentenced the following week.

It was especially worth it to know it was finally over. Edward stood with Bella at his side and allowed the bailiff to lead them to the holding cells in the back of the courthouse. He just needed to see Ben behind bars one time, and then he could move on with his life.

They stopped in front of what Edward liked to think of as Ben's cage. He turned to look at the two of them and sneered.

"Couldn't stay away, could you?"

Edward folded his arms across his chest. "I wanted to get a look at you in what's now your natural habitat."

Ben scoffed. "I'll get out.

"No, you won't," Bella said with a humorless laugh.

"What do you know?"

Bella whipped a hand through the bars and grabbed the front of his jumpsuit, pulling him forward quickly enough to rap his face against the bars. "I know you're a piece of shit." She let go and stepped back, casually leaning on the wall behind her.

Ben cupped his hands over his bleeding face. "Fuck you! Fuck both of you!"

Edward nodded. "I feel the same. You mean nothing to me anymore."

He held his hand out to Bella, and they walked out of the courthouse together to find Rose and Emmett waiting for them in the parking lot.

"I'm so glad that's over," Rose said as they approached.

"My ass is numb from those damn chairs," Emmett complained.

"We spoke to Ben," Edward told them.

"What? Why?" Rose looked between Bella and Edward.

"I needed him to see me happy; to know he didn't win, and that I'm better off without him."

"And I needed to bloody his face," Bella added.

"You shouldn't have done that, Bella," Edward said. "You'll get in trouble."

"Oh, don't worry, Dad knows everybody that works in that building. It's really too bad Ben tripped and face planted, isn't it?" She grinned.

Edward just shook his head and scrubbed one hand through his hair. "I'm ready to go home and never set foot in this courthouse again."

He'd closed on his new house the week before, and his parents were there with Bree and Maggie since school had recently let out for the summer. They'd been by his side as often as they'd been able to manage, as had Emmett, Rose, and Bella. He had a strong support system.

Even the chief and Renee had been in the courtroom with him a few times. That alone had touched him deeply, but they'd also stayed with Maggie when his parents hadn't been able to get out of work.

All four of them went in the house when they arrived. Maggie had papers and markers spread across the dining room table, and Rose went over to see what she was doing.

The other three went to the living room where Esme and Carlisle were sitting.

"How did it go?" Carlisle asked.

"Let's just say that if he were immortal, Maggie would be a great-great-grandmother by the time he was considered for parole."

"Oh, Edward. How do you feel about that?" Esme asked.

He sat next to her and she patted his leg. "Like it's finally over. Like I can put all of this behind me and look to the future with nothing hanging over my shoulder."

Bella sat on the couch on the other side of Edward, and Rose and Maggie came into the room. Maggie stood in front of the coffee table.

"I have something to show everybody."

"Whatcha got, Magpie?" Esme asked.

She grinned and held a bunch of paper in front of her. "I was working on a project, and now it's done." She held up her stack of papers and flipped one around. "Bella, can you read it for me?"

Bella frowned. "Sure. Um, it has my name on it."

Maggie flipped to a different sheet of paper.

"It was hard to move on after so much loss." Bella gasped and looked at Edward. He squeezed her hand, and Maggie moved to the next piece of paper.

"It was hard to trust anyone after all that happened. You opened my heart and made me see the possibilities. You've made our lives better." Tears tracked down Bella's cheeks as Maggie swapped out each brightly colored and decorated piece of paper for the next one.

She flipped one more, and Bella could barely choke out the words. "Please be my mommy."

With a soft sound, she got off the couch and kneeled in front of Maggie. "Oh, baby, of course I will."

She hugged Maggie, and Edward came to kneel with them. "There's one more." Maggie held up the last piece, decorated with hearts, and Edward looked into Bella's eyes as he said, "Will you marry us?"

He ignored his mother's sob and waited for Bella to answer him. "You know I will!"

He kissed her, crushing the piece of paper in between them.

"Can I have a moment alone with Maggie?" Bella asked when she pulled away.

She knew she didn't need permission, but she waited for Edward's nod before taking Maggie up to her room. They sat on the end of the bed together, and Bella held Maggie's hand.

"I want you to know, you don't have to call me mommy or anything, sweetie."

Maggie looked up into Bella's eyes with a tiny frown. "But I want to. My first mommy told me it was okay with her."

Bella raised her eyebrows. "When was this?"

"I dream about her sometimes, and she talks to me at the cemetery, too."

"Well, the next time you talk to her, tell her I said thank you."

"But she already told me to tell you thank you."

Tears pricked her eyes, and Bella tried to hold them back. "She did? For what?"

"For taking such good care of me and Daddy, and for loving us." She got up on her knees and put her arms around Bella's neck. "She told me to call you what I wanted, and I want you to be my mommy. I love you, and you love me, so that makes me your daughter."

"It sure does."

"Why are you crying?"

Bella laughed. "Because you make me so happy."

Maggie patted Bella's cheeks. "And Daddy does, too?"

"And your daddy does, too."

Maggie bounced. "Can we tell Grams and Grumps that we're getting married?"

Bella laughed again. "Sure thing. Do you want me to call them?"

"Uh-huh!"

Bella and Maggie went back down stairs to get Bella's phone. She dialed her parents and handed over the phone.

"Hey," Edward said, coming up to Bella and kissing the top of her head. "What was that about?"

"I wanted to assure her that she didn't have to call me mommy, but she said she spoke to Beth." Bella paused to suck in a breath. "Apparently, Beth approves and thanks me for taking care of the two of you."

"She said that?" At Bella's nod, he said, "Maggie and I talked about asking you to move in and marry me. As she understands it, we're all getting married."

"I'm okay with that."

He brushed her hair away from her face. "Are you okay with moving in before the wedding?"

"Are you okay with getting married right away?"

He scrubbed his hand over the back of his head. "Yeah, I just thought you would want to plan something big."

"Nope. I just want the two of you." She took his hand and rested it on her abdomen. "And this little one."

His eyes widened, and he crushed her to him. "You are amazing, Bella. You've made me so happy."

"I love you, Edward. It's as simple as that."

* * *

**I discovered there are two more videos by Breaking Benjamin that come after Red Cold River: ****Torn in Two and Tourniquet. The father goes through hell and fights to be with his daughter again. They're interesting if you want to give them a watch in order.**

* * *

**Thanks to all of you for giving this story a chance. I knew heavy angst would be a no-go for some people and I worried I'd have a very small audience. Some stories just have to be told, though, and this was one of those.**

* * *

**If you're interested in teasers and the latest on what I'm writing, you can find me on Facebook. The link to the group is on my profile, or search for MeteorOnAMoonlessNight.**

* * *

**My next fic is called The Ember Sword. Women warriors and male servants**—**it came from a dream I had. If you need an Isabella that fights with a sword alongside her sisters and their mother, and an Edward that is at her beck and call, then this is the story for you. I just need a few chapters preread and betaed, and then you can have it. The Lemonade Stand has generously offered me a Saturday Sneak Peek, so if you want, you can follow them at Teh (YES IT'S SPELLED LIKE THAT) Lemonade Stand at blogspot. I'll also share it in my Facebook group when it posts.**

* * *

**Thank you so much to coppertopj, kimmie45, MissLiss15, NKubie, and starsmina for keeping my plot lines straight and catching my mistakes. I wouldn't know what to do without you all. Cyber hugs and cookies for each of you.**

* * *

**Last, but not least, I might as well plug my published books. My real name is Lara Norman and I have a handful of books on Amazon and other digital books sites. I have an author page and an author group if you search for Lara Norman, Author. I give away ARC copies in my closed group, Lara's Reading Lair, along with voting on the hot guy of the week. Okay, done with that.**

* * *

**See you on the next fic!**


End file.
